Greentext

6202 readers

642 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Early_To_Risa

861

Anon misses something (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 8 months ago by Early_To_Risa to c/greentext

72 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 162 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I think the "oh, fuck, that was an invitation!" moment several minutes/hours after the fact is one of the most universal moments.

[–] [email protected] 59 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Years.

[+] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

[deleted]

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of “if you’re not gonna let me sleep on your couch, I’m going home.”

I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.

I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.

I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.

Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.

I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I once lost interest in a girl because she said was into this new cartoon "South Park" which I thought was stupid despite never having watched it. Years later I actually watched it and realized it wasn't stupid at all. Sometimes the real treasure was the utter stupidity you made along the way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me

except for cleaning her pillow case, apparently, lol

[–] [email protected] 39 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Yup. The first one I remember is a concert where I went to see the opener and didn't much care for the main act. While I was on the floor during the opening act, I was next to a girl who seemed similarly enthused about that band. We definitely both noticed each other fangirling over this relatively unknown opening act. Then, afterward, I bumped into her on the balcony while the main act was playing, and she's like "these guys kinda suck right? I think I'm gonna head out and get a drink at $nearby_bar". And I totally missed the hint.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

I just now realized this girl may have been interested in me 11 years ago. Later virgins.

Is it too late to make a move?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Is it too late to make a move?

This is the great thing about getting old. Eventually you realize that the girl you missed out on the obvious thing with is now just as leathery and swollen as you are.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

storytime? 🥺

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

Basically this girl at work would come talk to me for no reason sometimes and I never really thought anything of it. One time she went to get coffee on her break and brought me some hot chocolate. One time she showed me gym pictures on her phone of I guess how good her booty looked from working out or whatever. I thought this was weird but she did indeed have a nice ass, I just didn't want people to think I'm a weirdo so to me it was cringe as fuck. I think she straight up asked me out at least once but I remember always turning her down. One time she asked me if I wanted to go to an escape room with her and I turned her down because this would've involved driving across town in 5pm traffic, fuck that.

Adhd drugs are a hell of a drug. Looking back, she was kind of my type. I have so many more stories like this and they're all just as cringe. I can't help but wonder how my life would be different today if I hadn't have spent my entire life so far fucking up every potential relationship.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 7 months ago

WOO! STORYTIME 🤩

[–] lowered_lifted 1 points 7 months ago

sounds like autosm bro cheers I got it too

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

When I was 19, a girl told me at a party that I was the coolest guy in school. I was just flattered by the compliment and when I told my girlfriend about it later she said "Yeah she was totally hitting on you".
I was like "Nah! Her? No way!"
Years later, I randomly thought about it and went "oh my god, she was hitting on me!"