this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] [email protected] 59 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Lifetimes. Because I haven't had it yet...

(ok maybe I would if I talked to women in the first place)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

One time a girl invited me to sleep with her, and I looked at her filthy pillowcases and bullshitted my way into sleeping on her couch, after countering her insistence with the extreme option of “if you’re not gonna let me sleep on your couch, I’m going home.”

I thought she literally meant actual sleep, and what she wanted was sex.

I slept on her couch and she sobbed softly through a closed door.

I found out about a decade later, from a mutual friend, that girl had the biggest hots for me and was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me.

Well, she was stopped by my obliviousness.

I was ace and sex-repulsed even back then, so even if I had figured her out, I prolly would have had a small panic attack and tried to go home.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

honestly if her pillowcases actually weren't clean, that's on her lol

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you change the sheets and clean the bathroom if you're having company.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago

or at least keep things remotely clean for yourself and in case you get unexpected company

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

I once lost interest in a girl because she said was into this new cartoon "South Park" which I thought was stupid despite never having watched it. Years later I actually watched it and realized it wasn't stupid at all. Sometimes the real treasure was the utter stupidity you made along the way.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

was gonna stop at nothing to fuck me

except for cleaning her pillow case, apparently, lol