this post was submitted on 12 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 181 points 3 months ago (4 children)

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog stand. The vendor says "what would you like on your dog buddy?" The monk thinks for a moment and then says "make me one with everything"

[–] [email protected] 214 points 3 months ago (5 children)

The hot dog vendor says that will be $7.50. The monkey hands the vendor a $10 bill, which the vendor puts in the cash drawer. After a moment the monk asks "what about my change?" The vendor bows reverently and responds "change must come from within."

[–] [email protected] 103 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Not about to be swindled, the monk the pulls a gun from within his robe. "What's that?!" the startled vendor asks. "Ah," replies the monk, "this is my inner piece."

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I’m imagining the monk played by Samuel L. Jackson

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Not enough mother fuckers.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Who plays the monkey?

[–] starman2112 8 points 3 months ago

Some Xavier tier writing in here

[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

The monk pulls out a gun and points it at the hot dog vendor.

The hot dog vendor exclaims "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I thought you guys were all about inner peace and stuff?"

The monk replies "this is my inner piece"

[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Buy a season pass to unlock enlightenment and other perks on day one!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Buy a yearly pass to get 50% off Perks:

Day 1 enlightenment

Always on right side of the dual justice system

Hedgefund deposits and inherit home when you reach level 18

Only deal with 1st world problems

Someone else pays your taxes

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

So if a monkey pays for your hot dog, always round up to the next $10 increment for charity.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

It's because he changed it to a pizza shop. If he had said "hot dog stand" that old man would have been ROLLING with laughter!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 3 months ago

This is the single best Buddhism joke ever created.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

The vendor answered: “stop with that non-dualist shit. What do you want on hot dog?”

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

non-dualist shit

How about some Dichotomy then?