this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2024
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The future is stupid.
I’d like my appliances to stay dumb. I don’t need Bluetooth and WiFi in everything.
This is a good attitude. Remember that the 'S' in "IoT" stands for security
Ummmm excuse me but how can you not want a WiFi-connected, Bluetooth-enabled facial tissue dispenser?
Literally insane.
Because it can't recognize my face to give me my special tissues for my special face, duh? Do you think I can just use the non-machine learning enhanced custom* oil soaking face tissues?
*Feature only works with an online connection to a server in Slovenia owned by a shell company in Brazil whose parent is based out of Switzerland.
Smart speaker hears you sneeze and, tells tissue dispenser to say "bless you" and hand you a tissue.
What if a new improved washing algorithm drops and you haven't updated, you'll miss out on the latest water pour trends
I would be cool with a diagnostics interface that I use for monitoring, but yeah I don't need my fridge uploading how much chocolate cake I have or the number of beers I drank Saturday night to the cloud where a health insurance risk manager can make assumptions.
The board has already replaced the health insurance risk manager with AI. Don't worry! Now, a neural net is guessing based off of how much money the CEO wants to make next quarter.
Oh joy lol
Of course... Can you imagine just finishing up school with a degree in Actuarial Sciences, something historically considered extremely difficult, and therefore typically led to lucrative jobs, only to find out that it is being taken over by AI, and your degree is basically an even more meaningless math degree...
Display with temperature, possibly load level (relevant when freezing), beeper for a door alarm and as those two are already there also add a clock and kitchen timer. USB interface in case you want to protocol and control programmatically, no need to have a port just make sure to document where the pins on the board are. Make the display LED for longevity, no need for pixels 4-position alphanumeric is fine. Not blue or at least let me dim the thing.
Oh, and a feature that every refrigerator should have: An oil sensor as the compressor running dry if the thing has been tilted is a sure-fire way to kill those things and hardware shouldn't bloody kill itself just by turning it on.