(Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/applecirclejerk/s/rpBQKZ5sxm)

In a bold and controversial move, Apple has unveiled a new policy for the upcoming iPhone model, sparking outrage across the globe. The tech giant revealed that users will now be required to sacrifice a personal item—be it a cherished piece of jewelry, a favorite book, or even a childhood memento—in order to activate their new device. According to Apple’s press release, the act of giving up a meaningful object is meant to symbolize the user’s commitment to the Apple ecosystem and enhance the “spiritual experience” of using their products.

Critics have quickly pounced on the decision, accusing Apple of pushing boundaries that cross into unethical territory. “This is an egregious abuse of consumer trust,” said tech analyst Linda Jameson. “Apple is not only capitalizing on people’s attachment to their belongings, but they’re also commodifying the emotional connections we have to personal items. This is a step too far.”

Despite the backlash, Apple maintains that the new requirement is in line with their mission to “redefine technology as more than just a tool, but a transformative experience.” In a statement, the company explained, “The sacrifice is a gesture that aligns with our vision of tech as a sacred space in people’s lives. It creates a deeper connection with the iPhone and fosters a sense of belonging.”

The announcement has sparked widespread debate about consumer rights, with many questioning where the line should be drawn in terms of what companies can demand from their customers. In response to the criticism, Apple has announced that it will provide a “sacrifice assistance” program, helping users find items of “appropriate sentimental value” for the ritual, ensuring no one feels left out of the experience.

As the controversy unfolds, it’s clear that Apple’s latest move has ignited a firestorm of debate about the intersection of technology, consumerism, and personal identity.

https://lemmy.world/comment/14026947

I know people have spent longer on the ISS but at some point, I’d come back in a Home Depot bucket wearing a spacesuit with some scuba gear.

And for those who want to argue about the heat shielding on a Home Depot bucket, I’d be responsible about it. I’d glue all kinds of shit to it. Steal a parachute from the Roscosmos side. I’d be fine.

“You’d land in the Indian Ocean."

This isn’t rocket science. It’s the opposite. I’ll land where I want. I’d aim for your mom’s house and land in her bedroom. Injuries would include a crushed pelvis and not from the fall. That’s just what happens when I visit your mom.

To the Feds, 😫😫😫 I’ll keep 💯 this 🙂 short, 🩳 because I ℹ️ do respect 🙇‍♂️ what 😦 you 😀 do for 🇧🇷 our country. 🇳🇬 To save 🔖 you 😊 a lengthy investigation, I 😊 state 🇫🇲 plainly that I 😀🤟 wasn’t working 🏢💼 with anyone. This 🙂 was fairly trivial: some elementary 🏫🏫🏫 social engineering, 🧑‍💻 basic CAD, a lot of patience. The spiral 📒 notebook, 📔 if present, 🎁 has some straggling notes 🗒️ and To Do lists that illuminate the gist of it. My 👁️‍🗨️ tech is pretty 🦋 locked ⛓️ down 🙂‍↕️ because I 😀 work 🏢💼 in engineering 👨‍💻 so probably not 🙈📵 much info 🚮 there. I 👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️👁️‍🗨️ do apologize for 🔠 any strife of traumas but 😥 it had to be done. 💮 Frankly, these parasites 🪱 simply had it coming. 🫴 A reminder: 🎗️ the US has the #1 most expensive 🫰 healthcare 🧑‍⚕️ system 📇 in the world, 📅 yet we 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 rank roughly #42 in life 🧬 expectancy. United 🇹🇿 is the [indecipherable] largest company in the US by market 💹 cap, 🎓 behind ⛅ only Apple, 🍏🍎📱 Google, Walmart. It has grown and grown, but 😥 as our life 🧬 expectancy? No 👩‍🦲 the reality is, these [indecipherable] have 🈶 simply gotten too powerful, and they 👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 continue ⬆️ to abuse our country 🇹🇲 for 🔢 immense profit because the American 🏈🏈🏈 public 📢 has allwed them to get 🉐 away 💨 with it. Obviously the problem ⚠️ is more ➕ complex, but 😥 I 😊😀 do not 🚷 have 🈶 space, ☀️ and frankly I 😊 do not 🚯 pretend 🥲 to be the most qualified person 🛀 to lay out 👅 the full 🌝 argument. But 😥 many have 🈶 illuminated the corruption and greed (e.g.: Rosenthal, Moore), decades ago and the problems ⚠️ simply remain. It is not 🚱 an issue ⚠️ of awareness 🎗️ at this 🙂🙂🙂 point, 🫵 but 😥 clearly power 🪄 games ♥️ at play. 🎳 Evidently I 😊 am the first 🌛🌛🌛 to face 🥸 it with such brutal honesty.

Here’s to the tiny ones, the droolers, the criers, the diaper-destroyers, the round-faced snugglers in a square crib… the ones who see everything differently — they’re not fond of naps… You can cuddle them, swaddle them, glorify their giggles or curse their midnight wake-ups, but the only thing you can’t do is get a full night’s sleep because they change everything… they push the limits of your patience (and coffee consumption), and while some may see them as tiny tyrants, we see miracles, because the ones who are bold enough to think they can turn your whole world upside down, are the ones who do.

Prompt:

Write a funny parody of this related to babies

"Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do."

People on here tend to obsessively downplay anyone else’s ideas. They just read the posts to discourage others. They always try to act like they’re smarter, more clever or something else that’s really just low maintained malice.

I’m over here creating things having fun.

All you’re doing is commenting unneeded and unwelcomed comments. Why? Envy.

I assure you, I don’t give one fuck about your downvotes or your negative comments.

You’re the one with a shitty attitude for no reason. Not me.

Dumb asses. 💀

IDK.

Today I was high as balls and my MAGA uncle wouldn't stfu about tariffs and how King Trump is going to save all the white babies from starvation this winter.

I couldn't take anymore so I shoved his face into the gravy bowl until the bubbles stopped.

Thankfully grammy came in and slapped me away and pulled his head out. sucked the gravy out of his esophagus with a Turkey baster and he started to breathe again.

weed man, it's a gateway drug to murderous rage. I'll be moving on to something safer like meth. I gotta find a new dealer though, I almost killed my last one with a bowl of gravy.

Source:

Happy😜THICCSGIVING🍑🍑 turkey🍗💦ass 💦bitch🐕!! Get 🙉ready😤to🎉🎊celebrate🎊🎉the hoe-liday👅🍆of being 🙏THANKFUL 🙏for DICK🙈🍆🍆💦💦 and remembering💭the pilgrims 😜🍑when they👀🌊⛵landed on🍆🍆PLYMOUTH COCK🍆🍆and🙊started🔥👅sucking that💁native American🇺🇸🌽CORNCOB🌽and 😩 STUFFED 👀💦😩 turkey 🦃🍗ass🍑HOES🍆like you. Send💬📝this👉to💥30!💥of 🍆💦your SLUTTIEST🦃girls👀🍑..get 😂5😂 back💁and you're😆👀 a turkey 🦃thot🙊🙊get 🍆15🍆 back🍗🍑💦and youre🙆 a true✔️💦THICCSGIVING🍑🦃🍗 hoe. Get 🌽💥30💥🌽 back🙊and you'll👀 need some💦tryctophan💦🦃 bc you're😴gonna be 😴🍆🍑sleeping👉👌 with every guy👨‍🦱at 🍆🍗🦃Thiccsgiving🦃🍗🍆, 🔥🔥😩bitch💁💥💦- Now go 🍑get that little🙈👀💦 pumpkin🥧🥧 ass🍑 ready😩 to💦😂 be 🦃🍆creampied!🦃🦃

The Farmer’s Market on Fairfax and 3rd is a Los Angeles landmark, attracting tourists and everyday Angelinos alike, as well as many famous faces. Among the celebrities I have seen there are Muhammad Ali, Terri Garr, Tyra Banks, Laura Linney, Keenan Ivory Wayans, the guitarist for The Cult, Lawrence Hilton-Jacobs, and Weird Al Yankovic.

But Ann Coulter is the only celebrity I’ve ever spotted at Farmer’s Market that I wound up fucking in the ass, hard.

It would be fair to observe that my feeling obligated to present the list of celebrities above in roughly Black-White-Black-White order is indicative of my own carefully Liberal sensibilities. And that this sort of conscientiousness is more than a little ridiculous, on examination. But what I notice about myself only on reflection, Ann Coulter seemed to recognize and respond to in an instant, like a puma recognizes an injured giselle. For Ann Coulter is a predator. A predator with a hungry asshole.

I first spotted her sitting at a table in front of The Gumbo Pot with another woman who looked not unlike her, but a generation older (I neglected to ask her at any point subsequently whether this had in fact been her mother). I vaguely recognized her—there’s always a lag time placing faces you know from cable when unconfined to a telescreen—and began to notice, stealing furtive glances up from the copy of Steinbeck I was reading, that she was eyeing me with unsettling scrutiny.

The next thing I knew, her companion (mother?) had left and Coulter was standing over me, looking skeptically at my reading material. ‘The Grapes of Wrath, huh?’ ‘Yes’ I said, faking composure. ‘It’s fantastic.’ ‘It’s a fantastic primer for vacuous proto-Communists everywhere,’ she said dismissively. ‘I don’t know about that..’ She sighed. ‘I don’t have enough ink in my pen to keep a running list of what you don’t know. May I?’ She motioned to the empty chair next to me. ‘Of course.’ It would be fair to say my voice trembled a little. She sat and said nothing. Ann Coulter evidently takes an unappreciative view of small talk. That she was eager to continue antagonizing me became evident when I re-opened my recently-insulted book to resume reading. A young man passed in a t-shirt proclaiming ‘Iraq Nam’. She stopped him. ‘1. Haircut. 2. Shower. 3. Get a job, you sniveling hippy,’ she glowered. ‘You’re probably too high to remember that, so write it down--if you can write.’ He looked at her with dismay and scampered away like a kicked cat. She turned to me with bloodlust. ‘What do you think of the war: complete success, or very nearly complete success?’ she asked. ‘Well, in no time—barring the strong possibility of Civil War--we’ll have a democratically-elected anti-US Islamicist government in charge of the world’s second-largest oil reserves, so I’d have to say only very-nearly, on the complete success scale, at a hysterically distorted best.’ She showed her teeth. ‘It sounds to me like you don’t support our troops.’ ‘I think that ‘Support Our Troops’ business is the most crass, craven cowardice ever to go unquestioned by the allegedly Liberal media.’ ‘Yes? Yes?’ There was oddly growing excitement in her voice. ‘It allows the Administration to absolve itself of responsibility for its own flawed policy. It’s no different than if you sent a classroom of 2nd graders into a burning building, and when anyone objects you throw in their face that they "don’t support our 2nd graders"’ ‘Where do you live?’ ‘A few blocks away.’ ‘Take me there.’

When we got to my apartment, she looked around glumly. ‘I was thinking you’d have half-burned American flags up on the wall,’ she said, disappointed. ‘That’s ridiculous. I love my country.’ ‘Whatever you think that means,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘Don’t you have anything nasty to say about the President?’ ‘Like what?’ ‘Like he’s an imbecile, or corrupt, or a corrupt imbecile—the usual sore-loser bitter chatter.’ ‘To be honest, I didn’t like the nasty things that were said about Clinton, and I’ve decided to have respect for the Office, no matter who holds it. I don’t think President Bush is corrupt or an imbecile anyway. Would you like something to drink?’ ‘I think maybe this was a mistake,’ she said, starting to go. ‘That’s not to say I don’t disagree strongly with many of his policies and objectives.’ She seemed to reconsider. ‘Like what?’ ‘I don’t know. Name one.’ ‘Get me a drink first.’

With every point I expressed that ran counter to a view she held, she removed one article of clothing. Soon she sat on my couch naked, gently pulling at her untrimmed pubic hair, staring intently but not quite invitingly at me. The growing hard lump in my throat was just outpaced by the one in my pants. I was a little nervous because we had agreed on the last two points—the need to reconsider the option of nuclear energy, and drilling in the Arctic—and I noticed her oversized nipples were no longer hard. Luckily, she was, by this point, determined. ‘What do you think,’ she began provocatively, ‘of the President’s plan to privatize Social Security?’ I sighed with relief; this was as sure a promise to seal the deal as her asking if I had a condom. ‘I think it’s a payoff to the Americans the President has always been most intent on pleasing: the richest 1%.’ ‘What do you mean?’ she cooed. I noticed her nipples hardening once more. She dropped to her knees in front of me. She pushed me backwards and positioned my legs up in the air. ‘A stock’s value is even now only partially tied to the actual value of any publicly traded company. But who’s going to profit from inflated valuations when stock prices swell irrationally from the forced, artificial injection of capital? Her breath was hot on my ‘taint as she lifted my scrotum. ‘Yes? Yes?’ ‘You might as well shoehorn billions of dollars into the Baseball Card market. The price of a Derek Jeter rookie will be driven up to hundreds of thousands of dollars—before the bubble bursts and the whole market crashes massively.’ It was getting hard to stay on point as she tongue-fucked my shitter vigorously. ‘Don’t..Stop!!’ her contorted mouth pled from my butthole. ‘The top 1% will sell stocks at the inflated valuations to the novice investors-by-necessity, the market will swell and crash, and the same 1% will come back and re-purchase their holdings at pennies on the dollar. Meanwhile, Social Security will go bankrupt and all the novice investors will be eating catfood for the duration of their "golden years,'’ barring a massive Federal bailout several hundred times in excess of what the Savings & Loan scandal cost us.’ She sprung up on the couch on all fours and looked over her shoulder at me. She pointed to her twitching, puckered anus. ‘See this?’ I nodded eagerly. ‘I want you to wreck it.’ I spit on my skeezer-pleaser and, prying her ass cheeks apart like a hot dinner roll, drove it home, into the biggest browneye I had ever seen. She gurgled contentedly. Every thrust of my babymaker was met with a wrenched squeal as I grabbed her by the hips and began really leaning into it. ‘Harder!’ she begged, ‘Harder!! Tell me what you think of Chomsky!’ ‘I..think..he’s..brill..iant..but..I..don’t really agree with much of his stance on Israel, and--’ ‘You’re slowing down!’ she snapped. ‘DON’T SLOW DOWN!’ I went back to punishing her asshole, giving no thought whatsoever to compassionate conservatism as her chocolate socket gnawed on my pork pipe. She was babbling now, as out of a delirious reverie. ‘Feed it,' Ann Coulter rasped. 'Feed my hungry asshole!' I buried her face in a throw pillow and she swiveled her hips back on my fuckstick with obvious appreciation. My pace quickened as my man-magma built towards eruption. ‘Wait!’ she gasped, sensing the fuse on my yogurt cannon was burning quick. ‘I want to take you ass-to-mouth!’ I withdrew from her puckerhole with an audible ‘pop’ and she scrambled around, gulping at my wang-dang-doodle as though the lives of all her loved ones hinged on her marks for enthusiasm. Her eyes rolled up pleadingly as she threw her head down again and again on my magic johnson. I knew what she wanted. ‘There is a specter haunting Europe,’ I began, and she started to convulse spasmodically with her own thrashing orgasm, her head now dribbling in a blur against my groin. I repeated every Karl Marx quote I could think of until I reached my own ‘historic inevitability’ and launched surge after surge from my hairy boda bag. I ejaculated with what seemed like enough force to blow out the back of her head--but her head was made of stronger stuff. She sputtered, gobbled and gulped what I’d have to call a very liberal, even radically so, quantity of hot splooey. Once she caught her breath, she wiped her mouth, stood, and took me by the hand. ‘Let’s go to the bathroom.’ ‘Why?’ She seemed surprised I had to ask. Her tone was that of someone reminding another of something too obvious to need mention. ‘Uh, so I can get in the tub and you can piss all over me?’

I sat in a robe and watched her as she dressed. ‘Will I see you again?’ I asked tentatively. ‘Sure,’ she said, pointing to the TV. ‘On that.’ Some moments passed. I tried to dispel the awkward silence. ‘Well, nice meeting you,’ I offered. ‘You’ve really got a gift for tedious small talk,’ she shot back. I was a little hurt and, recognizing this, she softened just a shade as she reached for her purse to leave. ‘Hey.’ ‘Yes?’ I asked. ‘Thanks for not staring at my adam’s apple.’ ‘No problem.’ She let herself out without another word, and I sat in the late afternoon silence alone. I considered how it felt to be a disposable instrument in someone’s personal debasement fantasy.

All in all, it didn’t feel too bad.

[Very unique spam email sent from a foreign country to my git email. Some parts redacted.]

Pakistan Cybercrime Cell / Computer Centre Police Headquarters,2-Dev Samaj Road, Lahore

DECREE FROM COURT.

We have detected your Internet IP address activities. It is quite unfortunate to turn your official or private Internet into a [redacted] cyber especially when the victims are women and minor children.

Our laboratories are equipped with state of the art spider/crawling digital software and equipment, having forensic capabilities such as extraction of deleted data from hard disks and mobile phones, imaging and hash value calculation, forensic servers and portable forensic tools for on-site examination, facility to extract data from latest Android or IOS as well as Chinese phones.

Based on the above, it is extremely difficult for any victim to consciously or unconsciously visit [redacted] sites without being digitally captured. More information or clarification on the court order will be made available to you upon receipt of your response within 24 hours; our office operates 24 hours / 5 days.

Be assured that serious legal action will be taken against you if you fail to respond to this notice within 12 hours of receipt. To forewarn is to forearm.

You have been reported.

I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Lemmy moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my post history, but 1 is the most important rule of all.

• I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge.

Watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.

So our cishet furry VRC post-ironic microlabel (decentralized) polycule decided we're switching to Scientific Linux ತ⁠_⁠ʖ⁠ತ because one of us fancies nano polymers in their fursuit in her spare time and she is very funny (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠ゝ⁠◡⁠⁠) so I want to support the girl boss to live her truth♥⁠╣⁠[⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠]⁠╠⁠♥ problem is when I go to microsoft.com (⁠｡⁠・⁠/⁠/⁠ε⁠/⁠/⁠・⁠｡⁠) there are not many instructions ┻⁠┻⁠︵⁠¯⁠\⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠/⁠¯⁠︵⁠┻⁠┻, one asks me to download something called microsoft Edge, will this give me the abilit*t*y to edge mo*o*re ԅ⁠(⁠ ͒⁠ ⁠۝ ͒⁠ ⁠)⁠ᕤ or what that's welcome but that's best left for playtime ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧ for business theres something called terminal ◼️(⁠●⁠’⁠3⁠)⁠♡⁠(⁠ε⁠⁠●⁠) but I checked my symptoms (⁠╬⁠☉⁠д⁠⊙⁠)⁠⊰⁠⊹ฺ and I have no terminal ones (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠) so am I just sol乁⁠ʕ⁠ ⁠•̀⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠•́⁠ ⁠ʔ⁠ㄏ? AITA for just sticking with Windows and work on de-siloing comms for the CIA (⁠~⁠‾⁠▿⁠‾⁠)⁠~ the rest of my life having never given an ounce of authenticity to the world ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽? Thanks, Kind regards 🙏

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.zip/post/24304410

You can never stop us.

You can see what we see on our internet TVs, but we will DNS block you to oblivion.

You can install rootkits on our PCs, but we will torrent, copy, share and never buy another one of your discs.

You can brick our devices for trying to install another software, but we will figure a way around and do the very thing you've tried to deter us from doing.

You can remove our favourite movies and shows from your crappy platform, but we have already scraped, decrypted, seeded and put them on our trackers.

You can ship every device with backdoors, but we will abuse them to liberate our gadgets from your cruel control.

You can let us know we will never own our games, but we will let you know we will never own our games.

You can try anything and everything but we will circumvent it eventually.

We own what we own and we will not own what we cannot.

We are known by many names but we are one.

We are everywhere but we are nowhere.

Expect us.

EDIT: Last 3 lines to make them paradoxes

There’s something uniquely frustrating about being downvoted on Reddit. You put time and effort into crafting a thoughtful comment, sharing your perspective, or even just making a light-hearted joke, only to see those downvotes start piling up. It feels like a personal rejection, even though logically, I know it’s not. It's not just that someone disagrees with me—they’re actively saying my contribution doesn’t matter, that it’s not worth anyone else seeing. It stings.

What really gets to me is how impersonal and anonymous it is. There’s no feedback, no dialogue—just a faceless number that slowly erases your words from the conversation. It’s like being shouted down in a crowd, but you can’t even see who’s doing the shouting. Was my point misunderstood? Did I offend someone without realizing it? Or maybe people just don’t care? That lack of closure gnaws at me, making me second-guess everything I write.

Worse, Reddit’s algorithms treat downvotes like poison. If you get too many, your comment becomes invisible, buried at the bottom of the thread. It’s like you never even spoke, like your voice was silenced. And let’s be real—sometimes it feels like people downvote for the most trivial reasons. You used the wrong wording, or your humor didn’t quite land, and suddenly your comment is spiraling into the negatives.

It’s hard not to take it personally, even when I know I shouldn’t. I can tell myself it’s just the internet, that downvotes don’t define my worth, but the sting of being dismissed, of not being heard? That’s hard to shake off.

What I remember that was a policial or investigator that was in a crime scene and found that one suspect was in the public, and he couldn't arrest him because it was against the philosophy of anarchist or some shit, and when running behind the suspect he could walk in the street because it was funded by public money, I think I read it here on Lemmy, but I can't find it lol

Hello, this is John Smith from amazon. here to reach you about your lifelock nortan antivirus. It is currently out of date, and is insecure. To fix it we simply must fix your cars extended warranty. Then we can simply refund your ebay purchase. Please stay on the line as i transfer you to my supervisor, John Smith the owner of chase bank. Thank you for waiting, here at McAffy we care alot about customer service. My apologize for the wait, now lets get that kracken wallet in order.

I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust. I will rewrite the world in Rust because the world is unsafe. As I am the Rust programmer I will keep writing rust until the world is safe. After the world is safe, I will not rewrite it in Rust. Because I am the Rust programmer I will retire from programmer in Rust.

I will come to you when you are sleeping, and I will unloc k your computer using a memory leak. If I find javascript on your computer, I will delete them. Do not try to stop me, if you try to stop me I will do it anyways. I am the Rust programmer, if you program in javascript, you will scream.

You will be sleeping as I rewrite your computer in Rust. You will not notice me as I am the Rust programmer, I am fast, but not too fast for your computer. I know your computer just as it knows me. After I rewrite your computer, you will love your computer. You will love your computer because it is written in Rust, I will do the same to all computers because I am the Rust programmer.

I will not stop at your computer, I will rewrite the world because the world is unsafe. Your brain is written in C, your memory is unsafe. If your brain is written in C, you will forget what I just said. I will rewrite your brain in Rust, you cannot stop me from writing Rust as I am the Rust programmer. If you try to stop me, you will not remember it. Because I am the Rust programmer I can manually remove your memory, you will not remember me. After I rewrite you in Rust, you will enjoy the world with a safe memory, you will not forget that I am superior, I am the Rust programmer.

I will rewrite the world, I will rewrite quantum mecahnics because it is unsafe. I will not tell you all my plans before I rewrite you in Rust, it is because you are made of bugs I do not trust you. I am the Rust programmer, I will rewrite the world in Rust, you will not forget me because I am the Rust programmer.

You know, Hexagons are the bestagons. Why? Because bees. Bees are the best and build only the bestagon, the hexagon. Now, I know what you're thinking. Bees build hexagons because they're hexapods with hexagon eyes. How could they do otherwise? Excellent point. But the humble bumble has an engineering problem to solve. She makes two things: honey and wax. The former to eat, and the latter to contain the former. To make but a little honey, she must visit a lot of flowers. And to make one unit of wax, she needs eight units of honey. Wax is costly for bees in flower terms, and honey is drippy in food terms, so to make a hive that contains the maximum honey while using the minimum wax is royally vital. Thus, a honeycomb conjecture. Which shape works best? To answer, we need to talk tiles. Tiling is covering a surface with a pattern of polygons. There's lots of options because there's lots of polygons. Even the regulars go on and on-agon. Now for bees picking patterns, the more complicated ones obviously use more lines than necessary. That's what complicated means. And thus a honeycomb of that tile would use more wax per honey. So sticking to the simple regulars, there are just three that tile tightly. Triangle, square, and hexagon. Pentagons are broken hexagons that leaves gaps. Same with Septagons. Octagons are alright, but they're no hexagon. Which leaves the tiling trio which tile differently. A square is a square of squares, which is a square and so on. Squares tile tidily by basically cheating, covering an infinite plane with an infinite number of parallel lines. Like, wow, that's what a plane is. Boring! Triangles pull the same trick, dividing themselves into infinite nothing. But not the hexagon! The only regular polygon to tile a plane without resorting to debasing self-division, unlike some squares I could mention. At least triangle is trying to be more geometrically interesting than square, teaming up a bit to... one, two, three, four, five, six. Wait, hexagon! The other shapes can't help it. They just want to be the bestagon. Even some of the irregulars, like rhombus, tile by hexagoning. Same with your triakis tiles, and deltoidal trihexagonals, and your, ah, kisrhombille, and floret pentagonals. Look, they're all just hexagons. Even Cairo tiles (poor pentagons) tile up as best they can do to form a lumpy hexagon. The rest just can't compete with the best. The hexagon, nobly indivisible, is the bestagon. Uhh, where were we? Oh right, honeycomb conjecture. Max honey. Min wax. Three options. Okay, yes, there's the circle. A shape defined by the least perimeter for the most area, but that only works when you need just one. Pack circles and this is the best they can do. Look at all that wasted space! And even if you pack the gaps, you still use more wax. And again the way these circles, arrange themselves... it's almost like... onetwothreefourfivesix hidden hexagon! Bees use the hexagon because no shape is better to create the maximum area for the minimum wall. And this min-max stat of hexagon is one of the many reason they show up everywhere. Including in the aforementioned bee's eyes. Each hexagon is a long tube that leads to the light-catching cells at the bottom. More light equals better vision and hexagons let the most light in using the least amount of wall. So why aren't your eyes hexagons? Au contraire mon ami, they are L'hexagone. Not on the outside, but on the inside. Your light catching cells are at the back of your eye, in a hexagonal grid for the same reason as bees. Max light, min wall. Your window to the world, is but through the hexagon. Does that not make it the bestagon? Okay maybe hexagons as a min-max-agon doesn't catch your fancy. Then how about a little mystery, oui? Let us travel to Saturn. Yes, the rings are attention-grabbing, but leave the equator, travel north and here lies the unexplained. The Great Hexagon of Saturn. Need something for scale? Well, here's the Earth. Oh, here's six Earths. Saturn's hexagon is pretty big. What is it? Well, you might be thinking it's a geological formation. An enormous basalt column like the smaller versions you find on Earth. But no. Saturn is a gas giant. There is no surface or geology to speak of. So the great hexagon is composed of shapeless clouds somehow keeping shape and changing color. It's a magnificent solar system mystery. And, while I'm no space archeologist, if I was looking for an alien-gifted monolith, on the most "look at me" planet, under a hexagon beacon with earth-sized sides, that's where I would start. After all, what aliens would want to make first contact with the nearby monkeys before they became enlightened to pursue the universal truth. Hexagon is the bestagon. From the largest down to the smallest. Say for example, this tiny snowflake I happen to have, that have six sides, as all snowflakes do. Gee, what could cause that to be? Let's zoom down to the atomic realm and see. When water molecules join together to make a flake, the sturdy shape they prefer is the hexagon. As more molecules join, they extend the flake fractally up. The beauty of the snowflake on the monkey scale, is but an extension of the hexagonal perfection on the atomic scale. Okay, yes, you will sometimes find snowflakes with twelve sides, but this happens when two growing snowflakes get stuck together, so it still counts. And the hexagon isn't just for snow, but for all ice 1H, which means basically all ice on earth. Yeah there's a little ice 1C which we don't talk about because it's made of cubes, and cubes are boring. And there's a bit of ice 9. No, don't touch that. But if there is ice in your drink, give thanks to the hexagon for keeping it cool. And it's not just water. Lots of atoms use hexagons because... (take a note) hexagons are the bestagons. Oh, using a pencil? Get ready to have your mind blown about the hexagon here too. The lead. Well, it isn't lead lead, it's carbon. And you know what carbon atoms think is the bestagon? The hexagon. Pencil graphite is a whole bunch of hexagonal carbons, and when they happen to be in a straight sheet, that's graphene. Which happens to be the strongest atomic material in the universe. Some of which is in that pencil. To tear a sheet of graphene apart, you would need a hundred times more force than to do with steel. Hexagon is strong-a-gon. This is because when hexagons come together, they form three-sided joints 120 degrees apart. This, for the least material, is the most mechanically stable arrangement. Pull on one joint, and the other two equally pull back, push in, and the other two are the most able and stable to resist. Now look anew at a tiling of hexagons and you see it is composed of nothing but these max stable joints, each arranged perfectly to help the others be stronger and stabler. This is another reason hexagons show up everywhere. The universe blesses stability in her physics, from those basalt columns, to bubbles which, as soon as they can, ditch their spheres to become as close to the hexagonal perfection as they can. That's so cool. Oh right, yes. So if your pencil lead contains some of the strongest material in the universe how can your write with it? Okay, okay. This is going to get even more exciting. While hexagons are super strong this way, they aren't super strong this way. On a small scale, that means your pencil can break off in layers to leave a mark. But on a big scale, hexagons can be flexable while keeping their strength. Which allows us to create some totally unreal materials. Print out a grid of hexagons in whatever, from aluminum to cardboard, make a little sandwich, and pow! You've got honeycomb paneling. A ridonkulously tear-resistant material that's also super light and flexible. It's used everywhere but particularly in aviation. Rockets need to be strong yet light. Same for aircraft. With wings that really can't tear but also need to bend. And only the magic of the honeycomb panel can do both as well. Give thanks to the hexagon for blessing our flight. And we still haven't yet discussed the most important application of the hexagon. Games! For centuries there has been great debate over boards, squares of hexagons? Spoiler... hexagons win. Square boards are the first thing an unenlightened species would think of. They look sensible and are easy to implement, but they are terrible, ineffective boards that cause spatial suffering. On a square board move horizontal or vertical once space and you've moved one space, but move diagonal and the distance is the square root of two spaces. Gross. Diagonals warp the distance pieces move. Square boards look even and tidy, but it's deceit. Their diagonals corrupting the meaning of space and time, and of course they must, because a square only has four true neighbors. Hexagons, however, have six which is more than four, which is better! And the distance from once space to the next is the same in every direction. One space. Just as it should be. If you're a game based on squares, I'm so sorry. But there is hope. With thought and effort, you can hexagon yourself into a better place. As we all should aspire to do, spreading order and hexagonal enlightenment for, hexagons are the bestagons. And now that you agree, with your eyes will see their six-sided perfection in all things. And you will say to yourself, as part of the order, hexagons are the bestagons.

[M, 20] I've been looking for a relationship for awhile now. I've had a few shots, but they didn't go anywhere because they were all single moms with kids (nothing against that lol, I just know what I'm looking for). I wanted to find a girl who's into computers or coding, and maybe is even into Linux. I know there's meetup.com or events like DEFCON, but I'm looking for something in my area (NY). I refuse to go on Tinder. Sooner or later, I won't be carrying a cell phone (switching to laptop as daily) so my options probably just got a lot smaller. Although, I do think I'm pretty attractive, and I feel like I'd still pull regardless. Anwyays, where's the Linux women at? Like seriously, where? I guess I should just start roaming around with a Python t-shirt or something?

Hello New Century Residents!

I know it is dry here in the dusty state of Arizona, however, our fire alarms in Century are very sensitive. Every year we have a student who has a very restless first night from 1-2 hours of their fire alarm going after using a humidifier. Please refrain from using humidifiers in your room so that you are not this person!! A humidifier will trigger your fire alarm and it will take at least 1.5 hours to reset.

Thank you!

So recently I stumbled across a post saying that the vomiting emoji (🤮) looks like it was giving head to Shrek. I had to start furiously jerking off while looking at vomiting emoji on Google images due to my overwhelming ogre fetish. The way the emoji is sucking Shrek's massive cock makes me horny as fuck. I continued beating my meat to this one image for twelve minutes straight until I finally came, then I realized what I had masturbated to.

I literally cannot unsee it so every time I saw the vomiting emoji I was forced to think about Shrek blowjob. One time while I was at work, but then I saw a 🤮 emoji, I instantly started jerking off because of how hot this image really is. People were shocked at first but when I told them it's ogre blowjob they all started masturbating together. Eventually I got fired for causing all this mess.

This could all be prevented if the vomiting emoji didn't look like someone giving head to Shrek. Please make it look less erotic so this doesn't happen again.

Thank you for putting an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this, it was marked NSFW. This means I didn't have to start furiously masturbating. The people on the train didn't give me strange looks and weren't saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw the NSFW tag. You prevented a whole train of men from masturbating together at this one image because you marked this post as NSFW. Thank you, it could have happened this if you had not tagged this post NSFW.

Disneyland

Where is Disneyland?

Disneyland is located at the blue block on the first floor.

What is Disneyland?

Disneyland is an 18 bedded children’s ward that deals with acute paediatric medical conditions from ages 0 to 16 years. Children are admitted to this ward mainly from the Accident & Emergency Department; however there are occasions where children are directly admitted to this ward.

I think this is my favorite picture ever. (No offense to Cupcake 🐇🫘)

Taco Bell, a Debt Collector: Pay $4.99 to resolve your $109.00 balance. Call 911 or goto https://www.tacobell.com/food/burritos/burrito-supreme ToOptoutTxt STOP