(Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/CatholicDating/comments/1hqz2lu/comment/m4wn2yd/)
[Read this in a generic movie trailer voice]
In a world wracked by loneliness and secularism,
One 24 year old man seeks to restore balance to the universe.
[his heart]
Deep in the wilderness of Pennsylvania, he must build a future for his family and community.
(Insert saccharine shot of something excessively cute and/or wholesome)
Along the way, he will consult the wisdom of ancient tomes, explore natural wonders in remote lands, and seek joy in things both big and small.
(Insert epic shot of me doing something cool)
Equipped with an engineering degree, a plot of land, and an IQ arguably greater than 7, his hope is kindled.
(Insert cheesy one liner delivered by a comic relief character)
But to complete his quest, he must first find a woman with whom he can share both burden and bounty.
(Insert shadow of an unknown figure off-screen)
Will he find a girl, roughly near his age, who shares common values, who exercises prudence but rejects cynicism, and who does not find this write-up excessively cringe?
(Insert complete non-sequitur shot meant to be artsy)
Should he succeed, together they will preserve that which is good, restore that which is broken, and destroy that which is evil.
[Or at the very least just live a simple, happy life]
Should he fail, the universe will literally be destroyed.
[Both literally and destroyed are meant metaphorically.]
Coming never to a theater near you.
DM for more details.