Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok-Tale9401 on 2025-04-17 18:27:53.

I (29F) am getting married in August. I have a younger brother (28M) with whom I used to be close, but our relationship has deteriorated in recent years, culminating in us not speaking for over two years now.

My relationship with my brother started to get rocky 7 years ago when I graduated from college. We lived together and we argued all the time: from my side, we argued about things that I found inconsiderate or disrespectful, and he usually told me I was in the wrong for feeling that way (e.g., one weekend I was out of town and came home to find that my bed was stained + several of the snacks I paid for separately/kept in my room were missing. My brother said he’d let a friend sleep in my room and he ate my food; when I was angry he'd done this, he claimed I only ever got angry with him over material things and said I'm selfish. On his end, he would get upset with me if I went out with my friends and didn’t include him (even if he’d previously said he didn’t like them) and would tell me that I was unempathetic because he had been struggling with depression and I wasn’t supportive enough (for example by not including him)).

Things took a real turn when I decided to stop living with him 4 years ago. I moved in with my boyfriend (now fiancé) to a different state. My brother never finished college, and he has worked for a sum total of 3 of the past 10 years. My parents paid his rent for 10 years and still do now. My parents graciously paid in full for me to go to college, and he was offered the same fully paid for. For a 6-month period 3 years ago, my mother wouldn’t allow my brother to re-sign the lease on his 2-bedroom apartment (only one bedroom was occupied because he could never find a roommate) and he moved into her house where she paid for his food and gave him a small allowance. Around then, I was working hard to get promoted at my job, had just moved in with someone for the first time and was navigating starting a life in a new city. Almost every time I spoke with my brother he was upset with me that I was not showing enough empathy for his situation and wasn’t being supportive enough.

I apologized sincerely and tried to do better. I would call and check in on him, and he even came to visit me in my new city once. The visit was not great for me; I paid for everything the whole weekend (we went out to multiple dinners, etc.) and barely got a thank you. This wasn't enough according to him, and after enough times of him yelling at me and berating me, and me apologizing, I just decided to stop reaching out to him.

That was 2 years ago, and we haven't spoken since or seen each other (except for one family visit, where he rolled his eyes at me as soon as I walked in the door which set the tone for the whole visit). My family is pressuring me to invite him to my wedding, even though we haven't spoken and frankly, I don't want him there, and neither does my fiance. WIBTA if I tell them if he wants to attend my wedding, he can reach out to me?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Caretaker_Throwaway8 on 2025-04-17 17:58:38.

This is a throwaway account because my normal account is very easy to find by all parties in my question.

So, I lost my job back in October for a crippling leg injury, couldn’t walk for two months. My spouse of four years is disabled and can barely care for themself - I do everything, I help them into bed, I clean them after the bathroom, I do sponge baths, prepare every meal, and sometimes even hand-wash their clothes in the event of accidents.

I’ve been estranged from my family after a less than stellar childhood. I haven’t seen any of them in person in over 20 years. I went through knee surgery, and we were desperate for help, and one parent came to my state to be with me during it.

Fast forward six months, said parent is now dying of bone cancer, and we’re still getting our life back together from our own crises. My spouse is still incapable of day to day survival for longer than 24 hours without me being physically there. I talked with said parent about this, and their response was to launch into a guilt trip, and they got other family members that haven’t talked to me in years reaching out to extend the guilt trip. They also started blaming my spouse for their disability.

Our car won’t make the trip, and I don’t have money for an instant plane ticket for a 12 hour visit. It hurts to know that I won’t be there for them, but my spouse is a huge fall risk and I would rather deal with one crisis than two.

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Youpainthomes118 on 2025-04-17 17:52:14.

I M(24) have a half sister and half brother 10 years older than me. My brother and I have the same mom and my sister and me share the same dad. From my early childhood we were close and loving but as we got older, we grew apart. My sister revealed her feelings about me when I heard her say that Im retarded, Im our dad's and my mother's son. My mother is a drunk and my dad is a sniffer. My development was affected by their behavior but I somewhat keep it together. With her knowing what I was exposed to you would think she'll understand. It was clear to me that she really disliked me because when I texted her for some emotional support and tried to vent to her during my battle with opioid addiction (like most younger siblings do) she left me on delivered and called me and said "Why did you text me some weird shit"? I don't understand why Youre so slow". When she would call me for help I was there for her whether a favor or watching her kids.. That was the nail in the coffin for me and her. Im close with her kids but that's where I draw the line. Then there's my brother. He's a product of his bad habits and choices. He's absent in both of his kids lives and never listened when I tried to help him. He made his bed with me when he took advantage of our grandmother and messed up her car to live his facade fueled life and impress women. He also claimed one of his children was not his (looks just like him) and that really disturbed me. Same as with my sister, Im close with his kids but I refuse to deal with him. He did not help himslef several times. Even now I'm the bearer of his messes.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fun_Seaweed_throwawa on 2025-04-17 17:24:27.

I (22f) have an older brother named Jacob (25m). Jacob dated this girl named Kami (24f) for about a year and a half. They met in high school but didn't start dating until their second year of college. Jacob broke up with Kami on Valentine's Day because he would be studying abroad in his third year and didn't want to be long-distance, and he wanted to "explore" other people.

Kami was heartbroken; she was super sweet, and it was hard to watch how devastated she was. Well, once my brother came back from his year abroad, he was distraught that Kami had moved on and started dating someone else. He tried to get back together with her, but she wasn't interested. He even tried to be "friends," but she cut him off and refuses to speak to him.

Jacob moped around for the rest of his fourth year and a bit after, until he met his current girlfriend, Mandy(25f). Jacob is constantly comparing Mandy to Kami. If Mandy does something he doesn't like, he immediately brings up how Kami would have never done that.

Jacob constantly talks about how Kami was the love of his life, and he should never have let her go. It's like a daily occurrence at this point. He compares Mandy to Kami, asks Mandy to dress like Kami, wants Mandy to talk like Kami, and has had Mandy dye her hair like Kami's. It's like a scary obsession with her.

We were at a family BBQ on Sunday, and Jacob brought Mandy. At one point, Mandy went to grab a beer, and Jacob sneered at her and said, "Kami wouldn't drink that." I lost it at that point for the past year, he and Mandy have been together, I've constantly listened to him harp on her, and compare him to the girl HE DUMPED.

So I snapped and yelled at my brother, "Shut up and leave that girl alone, Kami doesn't want you, she hasn't for years. Mandy is a different person. Get over your ex and grow up you are acting like a huge asshole." Jacob stormed out after I said this, and I ended up driving Mandy home.

My mom thinks I'm being too harsh on Jacob. She thinks I should give him more grace since Kami was his first love, and it's hard to get over your first love. My dad thinks I was being an asshole for embarrassing Jacob and Mandy that I should've kept my mouth shut and handled it in private not in front of our family and friends. Jacob says I'm an asshole and is now refusing to speak to me. The only people who don't think I'm an ass are Mandy, some family friends, and my aunts.

So I need outside help was I being an asshole in this situation?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Entry5880 on 2025-04-17 16:35:28.

I (26m) work and partially own a cafe. My parents are the majority owners. The business started when I was 21 years old. My parents brought in a building. I helped them renovate it by putting up insulation, drywall and painting. In a very small town. I started working here when I was going to college. Anytime I had free time, I would be here working. None of the time I was getting paid. The minimum wage in my state is federal minimum wage $7.25. Around the time I was in college my family was hard on cash. So any extra money I had from college was given to them. I took out student loans, they are now paying them. One of the requirements for a class was to have a paid internship. After that was over, I had to file for unemployment during COVID. Any and all stimulus money I gave to them, including the $600 weekly payment because of COVID. After I graduated college, I started working at the cafe full-time. I am the only person who works here. I work here 6 days a week for 47 hours a week. I have been doing this for almost 3 years full-time now. I make about $40 in tips each week. And my parents pay me maybe $400 a month. I live at their house. They pay for my car insurance. My car has not ran for over 2 years and I cannot pay to get it fixed. We both buy groceries. With my own money, I also buy produce for the shop. I mow and maintain all 4 properties that they own on a mower that I bought. The did not help with. I helped renovate their entire house and helped put up an addition. They let me borrow their cars when I need to go places because my car doesn't work. Anytime I bring up the fact that I can't do something cause of lack of money, they treat me like, I am ungrateful. They say that they pay me very well. It got to a breaking point where I told them that I either need to get a paycheck or I will look for a different job and be done. They are now letting me renovate one of their buildings. So I may open up my own business, but now they are expecting me to still work the cafe and my business. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/WhereasAromatic6758 on 2025-04-17 16:25:23.

Yesterday, we all made plans to go to a movie that was showing at 4 PM. I’m the only one in the group with a car, so I told everyone to be ready by 3 PM.

I picked up the first two without any issues—they were already leaving the house as I pulled up or waiting at the curb. I called the third one in advance and told him to be ready in 15 minutes.

When I pulled up to his driveway, I didn’t see him anywhere, so I called him. He picked up and said he needed five more minutes to put on his clothes and wash up a bit. Whatever—I said sure and turned off my car. Five minutes later, he’s still not out. So I gave him another five minutes. Still nothing. Then I called him again—no response. We waited another five minutes, and I called him again. This time, he picked up and said, “Just a few more minutes, dude.” I said sure and told him to hurry up.

Now, 30 whole minutes later, he finally comes out of the house. It’s 3:20, and the theater is 20 minutes away. Oh well, we could still make it on time. Then he requests that I drive by his sister’s place to pick something up. I said sure since it was on the way. I parked my car, and he said he’d be back in two minutes. That “two minutes” turned into 20 whole minutes. We had all prepaid for our tickets, and that money was about to go to waste. We all called him multiple times, but he just wouldn’t pick up.

So I grabbed his stuff and went to the door, knocking multiple times—no response either (apparently, they were in the backyard). So I just dropped his stuff at the door, and we left.

He called me 15 minutes later and yelled at me for “ditching” him. I told him we all tried calling him multiple times, and I even went up to the door and knocked, but got zero response. He said, “I was dealing with an important family matter*. Great, I just wasted $15 for nothing because of you.” Mind you, we were already late. If it weren’t for the ads, we would’ve missed the beginning of the movie.

AITA? I believe he has main character energy—and I told him that before ending the call.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/OopScrambledBrain on 2025-04-17 15:16:09.

I (23F) will be marrying my fiance (26m) in about a year and a half. We haven't gotten too deep into wedding planning, but I've been thinking about our guest list and who we will and won't be inviting.

Context I wouldn't say we live in the deep south, but definitely in more of a conservative belt. My immediate family is small, liberal and free-spirited. My fiance's family is vast, a huge step family that he's close with, and a larger immediate family than mine. Despite being much more conservative and traditional than my own, I've come to love most of his family and I'm happy with who he wants to invite.

Back to my family, selection's pretty slim. In recent years, there has been some heavy familial drama involving my sister, Lilly (28f) and her family.

Lilly and my mother are no contact, which is a whole other more complicated story, but it boils down to there being a lot of lies and bad behavior on both sides.

Lilly has a husband, my brother-in-law, Mikey (30m). I love and adore Mikey and he is everything you'd want in the "brother you never had." He's a man's man, he's a nerd, he's awesome.

Lilly also has a partner, Sam (34mtf).

I don't want Sam at my wedding.

Sam is a sweet girl: shy, sweet, but very introvert, and if it wasn't obvious by the tag, she's trans.

I need to make it clear I have no qualms with the fact that Sam is trans. The problem is that she was an intruder on an already married couple without one of the partners consent. The means by which Sam became a part of my sister's family was dubious on the part of Lilly, who lied and manipulated Sam into their her and Mickey's relationship. It was very touch and go whether or not Lilly and Mikey would even stay together. Despite all the turmoil, the three of them are still together.

Turning back to wedding planning, the gender identity and overall less traditional aspects of their family becomes a possible problem.

I am by no means a traditional girly. I identify as a queer, alt, poc, my wedding will not be at a chapel, it will not be officiated by a pastor, but now that I'm older and perhaps a bit more romantic, I want the big white dress, I want everyone wearing my color theme, and I want everyone talking about how beautiful I and my husband are on our wedding day.

I don't want eyes glaring at Lilly and Sam, I don't want whispers and questions, I don't want my mother making comments. I don't want them all to stand out.

My fiance is uncomfortable with the whole situation, and it's not his job to explain it to his family on our wedding day.

I feel terrible excluding somebody for their gender identity as I've experienced that kind of discrimination going through high school with a same-sex partner.

But it's my day…

TLDR: WIBTA if I don't invite my sister's trans, polyamorous partner to my wedding include very conservative family members, as neither I or my partner want to spend our time at our wedding explaining their situation?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/One-Rhubarb8052 on 2025-04-17 15:10:47.

I (29) and room mate (30) were watching tv hanging out earlier, he is very religious (Christian) and I'm well, agnostic.

He bought all this seafood for good Friday and i chipped in because I like seafood anyway so i said sure i'll take part, I was very keen on just having seafood on the Friday but it hit 12am without my knowing and i got a hard boiled egg out and starting eating it after I peeled it, He looked at me, checked the time and freaked the fuck out, He's making wild leaps and attacking me verbally.

I'm just posting this because It happened an hour ago and It's really not a big deal, Just want some reassurance that he is being over emotional and a bit wild.

Edit: Just to clarify a few things, Thank you for the replies but there are a ton now so I'm going to leave my replies as they are

• Fasting was not discussed

• I don't know if he's that eastern sect that can't eat eggs

• I'm getting the fuck out of this living situation since this is not the first time he has behaved like this

• I didn't know eggs were fair game as I do not practice this religion.

EDIT:

2 people are confused about timezones.

as i am writing this it is 1:41 AM.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Vulpixgirl0528 on 2025-04-17 15:10:11.

Hi Reddit, I (28F) and my fiancé (25M) had my 4-year-old daughter with us for her spring break, but we won’t have her on Easter this year. So we decided to throw her a small early Easter celebration.

We went to the dollar store and put together a simple Easter basket for her—just some candy, a few toys, and a paint set. Nothing over the top, just something fun and age-appropriate.

Later, during a phone call with her other family, my daughter told them what the “Easter Bunny” brought her. That’s when my ex-mother-in-law chimed in and said something like, “Wow, the Easter Bunny got you a lot. It should just be some candy, no toys or anything big. Some people make Easter like Christmas.”

I felt a little taken aback. We weren’t trying to outshine anyone or turn it into a huge thing—we just wanted to make the most of our time with her since we don’t get to celebrate the actual holiday together.

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/BaffleCry on 2025-04-17 15:03:54.

EDITS: CLARIFICATION + UPDATES AT THE END

I can't believe I'm even writing this right now. The answer is so obvious to me but I feel like I'm being manipulated? But I don't see why?

I (36M) have been with my wife, C (35F) for a decade. Everything is great, she's my best friend, we have fun together, and she's my favorite person to spend time with.

But as of late, something weird has been up. Look, 10 years in, you get pretty comfortable with each other. You've seen each other at your worst and really been through it. Which means, yes, we've passed gas from both ends and used the bathroom in front of each other. No big deal.

For the past year, my wife has been farting more than usual. Again, I don't care, it's not a huge problem. But these are some pretty vile stinkers. And this might seem funny, but we're in a small one-bedroom space that's poorly ventilated. So you can imagine that there's a limit to what one can take before one politely says, "Babe, I love you, but you gotta go to the bathroom."

Here's the weird part: without fail, she will deny it is her every single time. She'll look at me weirdly and question what I mean. At first, I thought she was being cheeky so I let it go. But when it started happening every single day, I got worried.

I asked her if there was something to be worried about (we're nearing 40, you never know). And she just looked at me weirdly and said with the utmost emphasis and assertion that she did not know what I meant.

The next time it happened, I asked her if she smelt it and she said no and I looked at her wide-eyed because there was no way she couldn't smell it. My eyes were burning from the smell and she's telling me she can't even smell it?

I eventually confronted her and she said it's probably a gas leak or Sulphur leak or something, which, okay fair. But we had the place inspected and nothing out of the ordinary turned up.

I tried to confront her again and her answer really, really made me reel. She said and I quote, "Could be a demon. If it smells like rotten eggs."

I'M SORRY?!

Is it really easier to try to convince me our house is haunted than just admit she's the one doing it? We live alone, I can HEAR it, but she has no reaction and firmly denies it every time.

We recently had a small spat over it where I asked her why she was choosing this hill to die on and lie for, and she looked at me like I'd given her the finger. She's gone silent and I am now fully losing my mind trying to figure out if I'm the asshole for calling her out or if I'm just going insane.

So, AITA?

TLDR: wife rips stinky ones, lies constantly to cover up.

EDIT 1: Clarification

• Someone said I should include the fact that I can hear the passing of gas many times. Not always. But most of the time.
• Her not farting in front of guests is also what is pushing my buttons. Is it real? Is she faking it? Is she just farting around me and gaslighting me constantly for a year. Let's say this is the case. Why? What's the end goal?
• Those suggesting a medical check up: I have pushed for it. She has playfully declined and the more I pushed, the firmer she got about dropping it saying I was "taking the joke too far."
• We have both had COVID twice.
• As mentioned before, we have passed gas previously in front of each other before sans embarrassment. It is this sudden increase in frequency and the alleged lying that has me puzzled.

EDIT 2: UPDATE

So...this blew up and even though I used a throwaway, I think there were enough identifying factors. She found the post. It was the third post she saw when she opened Reddit. I think I'll have to pause the replies to go have a more serious sit-down. With her consent, I will update you all further.

EDIT 3: Wow...I am at a loss for words. So after she saw the post, she was understandably pissed off. She said I violated her trust over something "trivial and untrue." I asked her to be real with me and sincerely tell me if she truly did not know what was up and she said that she could neither feel, smell, nor hear herself. She then, in alm seriousness, asked ME if I was pulling some shit, which I vehemently denied.

I then brought up the medical concerns which she tried to brush away. I offered to go in with her, and she said that I was welcome to have a doctor mess my head up but she wasn't going to do the same. When I insisted, she got really mad, and called ME controlling and gaslighting.

We are currently not speaking to each other. I have tried, but she will not budge. She said and I quote, "Why don't you cry about it to your little incel group."

I have no idea how to proceed.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/First-Warning-5283 on 2025-04-17 12:14:17.

AITA? My fiancé (46M) and I (36F) got engaged in August of 2024. We immediately decided on October 25, 2025 for our wedding date. At the time we got engaged, my best friend (37F) was pregnant and due in November 2024. Her daughter came early on Halloween 2024 (which no one could predict). Fast forward to now and our venue has told us that we may need to push our wedding back 1 week until November 1st. This is not ideal for us, but we have no control over it. We can’t move venues because of our budget and we already planned a cruise for our honeymoon that following week. When I texted my best friend to tell her about the change of plans (I told her as soon as I found out), her response was that she would hate to be traveling on her daughters birthday and/or not be at home for her daughters birthday - even though the daughter will be with her at my wedding and she’s turning 1 so she won’t even understand that it’s her birthday. I feel as though my friend is being selfish and not considering that I didn’t do this on purpose and my wedding was planned before she had her baby. AITA for not changing my wedding date to accommodate my best friend?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bitter-Resolution-11 on 2025-04-17 12:02:41.

So this happened a couple days ago and I’ve been thinking about it more than I probably should. I was at the grocery store picking up a few things for the week and I ended up in one of those “10 items or less” express lanes. I had exactly 10 things,nothing major, just basics like eggs, bread, etc. Pretty normal trip.

Right as I’m putting my stuff on the belt, this woman behind me (mid-40s maybe?) kind of leans in and asks if she can go ahead of me since she “only has two things.” I looked and yeah, she had just a couple small things. But the thing is, I’d already started unloading, and there were two people behind her too, so it wasn’t like the line was empty.

I just said “oh sorry, I already started” and kept unloading. I wasn’t rude or anything, just kept it simple. She didn’t say anything, but she let out this really exaggerated sigh and started muttering about “how manners are just gone these days” and “some people have no decency.” The person behind her kind of awkwardly smiled at me like they didn’t want to get involved

I checked out, left, and didn’t think much of it until later that night when I told a friend the story. They were like “dude you should’ve just let her go, it would’ve taken like 30 seconds.” Which yeah, maybe? But at the same time I was already mid-checkout, and it just felt weird to shuffle everything around.

So now I’m sitting here wondering… was I really being that inconsiderate? I didn’t yell, I wasn’t aggressive, I just didn’t want to stop mid-checkout and make it a whole thing. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/StopAndSmellTheRose5 on 2025-04-17 09:12:51.

So this morning I (21F) had to take the train to my internship, and it was busy as usual. I sat down next to a guy (around 23 I guess?) who entered the train basically the same time as me, so he was sat by the window, with me next to the isle.

I only noticed as I sat down that the guy was quite muscular/broad, so our arms were like... rubbing together the whole time. it happends, trains arent that big, I'll live with it. He starts pushing more, checking if im sitting on 'my chair' and not on his side with my arm, which im not. If anything he is coming over on "my side" of the chair.

I scoot a bit to the side, on the edge of the seat (the edged are slighlty higher than the middle part, so not exactly comfortable, but its a train so I can't expect much anyway. Again, I'll live with it. But his arm is still rubbing mine quite a bit. At this point I just ignored it and listened to some music. He starts eating his yoghurt so his arms keep rubbing mine as he is eating, and he starts watching some TV program on his phone. he starts snickering at the program at first, then genuinly laughing to the point other passengers look his way too.

At this point it's annoying, but I just turn my volume up so my earbuds drown out his laughing. THEN however, he pulls out his laptop.

Due to his typing, his arm starts to genuinly rub hard against mine, so he again glances to the chairs to see if im on my own side (I am, he is on my side, which is why I think he didnt say anything at that point).

Then however, he starts shifting a little, pushing more and more towards me. he turns to me and asks "Can you like, move over? I need to type". So I tell him no, that I cannot move further as im already on the edge. moving further means sitting half off the seat.

He tells me I can move the armrest on my side up so I can "scoot over further" so I tell him I already DID and that im already on the edge like I said before. So he just tells me "Well, I have to type. Just so you know".

I cannot scoot over further, and I'm not half sitting on my seat in an even more uncomfortable position when he could also just... move if he wants to type so bad. So our arms continued to rub together, which isn't a nice way to type I guess but I didn't see it as my problem that he had work to do in the train and didnt book first class with wider seats, or... finished the stuff he had to do at home before he travelled.

I wasn't the one complaining about us rubbing arms, it was his work it was hindering and him asking me to scoot over. Am I the asshole for not moving further/altogether, even though its not really my problem if im not the one complaining?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Praptipp on 2025-04-17 10:00:39.

I (19 F) have two beautiful beautiful cats. A playful orange (4 M, let's call him C) and a cuddly Tabby (6 M, let's call him B) and I love my babies to death. Now, my cousin (28 F) also has a cat around the same age as my orange, let's call him P (thing to note : I'm from India and it's very common here to adopt street cats. They usually roam around and eat and sleep at home. Our cats are like that). My cats are usually quiet and keep to themselves but hers is very aggressive. He, on multiple occasions have hurt my cats and us as well. My Tabby is a very scardy cat and is most of the times his victim. Nowadays he's so scared that he sometimes refuses to come home. My mom and I have also gotten hurt while trying to save him. We have complained multiple times but neither my sister or my aunt and uncle took it to ears. Their cat is not neutered which is one of the major reasons for him being this aggressive but they don't listen. A major incident happened last December when I was trying to save my cat from P and he scratched me very badly which ended up damaging my nerves in my fingers and I still haven't recovered. We again told them to do something or atleast get him neutered. They agreed then but still took no action. These incidents continued. Last night, while having dinner, I heard my cat B screaming so I went to check and he was being attacked again by P. I somehow managed to save him but he was covered in cuts and blood. I was angry and ended up shouting that if they don't take care of their cat, we'll have to take serious actions (I forgot to add that they live upstairs. We live in the same house). Now I don't exactly know if there's anything I can do about it but I was so livid at the moment that I said it. My mom says it was unnecessary and not needed. Am I the Asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fabulous-Sail5954 on 2025-04-17 06:26:57.

Long story short, my 10yo nephew lives with me and my mom in a different state than my sister and her other two kids. My mom has been late to her second job the past few days to pick my 10yo nephew up from school and says it’s my fault. Yesterday I texted if she needed me to get him and she didn’t reply until hours later blaming me for being late because she went to get him. Today she asked me but I was out on a date with my boyfriend 45 minutes away. I texted her I would get him from the after school program, but it would be better if his football coach could do it (he lives in the same apartment complex). She said “never mind, smh” and got him herself, making her late again. She came home on break to tell me it was mean that I didn’t want to get him, although that wasn’t what I said and I suggested another option as a back up if I couldn’t make it. I did tell her directly that I didn’t want to do pick ups/drop offs though as it’s really disruptive to my life/schedule. She’s been giving me the silent treatment since and making comments under her breath when I walk by. I work overnight and sometimes take him right when I get off work or wake up early to go pick him up. There are times I also cancel or leave plans with friends/boyfriend early to do so.

My mom and I have been intermittently taking care of my sisters (36yo) kids (15m, 10m, 5f) since they were each born. She will bring them to our apartment and stop answering the phone for days or weeks. My sister isn’t mentally or physically incapable, she just doesn’t always want to be a parent and my mom won’t set the boundary & force her to be a real, full-time parent who doesn’t do late nightly parties, then sleeps all day. She’s there for her kids, but more like a friend. I’ve spent multiple summers since I was 16 or so being a full-time “teen mom”, watching them day and night by myself while my mom worked and my sister ran the streets kid-free. I only caught a break once I got my own place in college. Now that I’m older and still kid-free, and trying to build my own family, I feel I deserve to live like it. AITA for telling my mom I should only have to help out with my nephew when it’s convenient for me? Especially since he doesn’t respect me and my mom doesn’t seem to respect that I have my own life? (I could post details about that but it’s an even longer story)

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/milestellershrine on 2025-04-17 03:58:02.

My roommates and I are having issues with parking— 4 of us live in the apartment which we moved into 8 months ago, and there are two parking spots available for us at the complex. Before we moved in to our apt, we discussed that the two spots would go to the two of us with cars (myself included) as the others do not own cars and were planning on taking the bus. Recently, one of my roommates who was previously taking the bus has bought a car. As we are only allowed two spots at the apartment, she street parks. Last week she had her car towed when she parked it at our complex, thinking that it would go unnoticed by management, which is fine and just unlucky. After, we had a roommate meeting in which she asked both me and my other roommate with a spot to give up one of our parking permits for her, since she has a hard time finding street parking when she gets home at 11pm. I have had the parking permit for 8 months ever since we moved in. AITA for saying no? I dont want to give up the spot that I’ve had all year and this was agreed upon prior to the start of our lease.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Early_Security3045 on 2025-04-17 03:36:12.

My ex-best friend Laine (18f) and I went on a 3-day trip with Tim and Mark (18m). At first, things were fine, but Laine got controlling and moody when things didn’t go her way. Tim and I went to an arcade, and even though she had our location, she blew up our phones asking where we were.

The breaking point was one night when I desperately had to use the bathroom on our way back to the hotel. We were minutes away, but Laine refused to let Tim and me walk ahead, even though she was with Mark and we were all safe.

After the trip, she called me rude. I told her I was frustrated and called her bossy. She dragged our friend Erika into it, but Erika sided with me. We tried to move on, but Laine stayed cold. At a party, she ignored me, then messaged me about an inflatable costume I was fixing for her like it was urgent (it wasn’t). I told her I was busy with college and hurt she never thanked me—she always made me pay her back but never did the same.

Eventually, I left her costume on my porch. She grabbed it and left all my stuff in a bag like we were breaking up. I tried to talk, but she ghosted me. I even reached out to Tim and Peter—Peter tried to help, but Laine refused.

Now I feel like I lost my whole friend group and don’t know if standing up for myself was the wrong move.

*all names aren't real*

AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dwells_in_Low_Light on 2025-04-17 02:57:05.

This is complicated, so bear with me. I (45f) am a single mom, a full time college student, and I own my home. At the end of last year, a friend (35m) reached out to me because he was in dire straights. He'd been laid off from his job (tech industry) ran out his severance package, and his unemployment was almost up. His lease on his apartment was up at the end of the year, and he wouldn't be able to afford to renew. So I offered to let him move into my office for $300 a month, to cover his utility usage while he tried to get back on his feet. I also said that he's welcome to eat dinner with us any time I cook (most nights) and anything else he wants to eat, I will get with the groceries if he venmos me the cost. As soon as he moved in, he started Door dashing, and then got a part time job delivering pizza. He still does not have a full time job in his industry. I feel like I made him a pretty solid offer, and ultimately, the goal was for him to live cheap and save his money. Instead, of doing eating with the household, and contributing to groceries, he's gotten into a habit of ordering door dash sometimes twice a day. He's spending significantly more on takeout for himself than I'm spending to feed the whole household. I know he's his own adult, and I don't have the right to control how he spends his own money, but at the same time, I feel like I'm making sacrifices to provide him a home, and while I don't expect anything extra in return for that, I do feel like the premise of him being here is based on him saving money, which he's clearly not doing. So would I be an asshole if I told him to stop ordering takeout, and eat from the kitchen instead?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/grammarly_err on 2025-04-17 02:24:02.

My (26F) sister (24) has been with her partner (34M) for around 5 years, and they have a soon-to-be 4yo together.

I invited my sister to celebrate my birthday, and she asked if he could also come. I only feel like TA because my boyfriend was welcome to celebrate her birthday with us (even though he didn't come.)

The problem is, dude drives me up the wall. He's very immature for his age, like he got stuck at 16. He isn't the brightest, and likes to try to butt into conversations and talk like he understands the subject when he obviously has no clue. He's a "sovereign citizen," really into conspiracy theories, and likes to wear a belt with a hunting knife on it everywhere he goes. He isn't rude, per se, he just doesn't know how to socialize appropriately for his age, and sometimes it feels like my sister is babysitting him. She literally has to tell him what to do or not to do half the time.

I didn't want to invite him when I hosted Christmas this last year, but felt like I had to because it wouldn't be fair to my niece to not have both of her parents around.

So, AITA??

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Aware-Surprise-4483 on 2025-04-17 01:44:15.

I (21F) am planning to go on a trip to Disney soon in a few months and my mom doesn’t want me to go alone and wants me to go with someone. I have planned to go with my sister (20F) But she had let me know her Aunt has passed and could not come to which I’m fine with.

My sister agrees I should go by myself as I could have lots of fun without being tied down to anyone the whole week but I am worried if I go by myself my mom would probably be pissed even after I place boundaries down and let her know I will contact her regularly while I’m there. She has repeatedly made multiple attempts to make me reschedule but I have had my mind set on this for a while and I will not change the dates regardless of what she tells me.

How can I talk and express to her I would feel a lot better by myself on this trip to try new things and explore myself without having to feel like an AH and just going without a word?

(My sister is my half sister, we share the same dad but different moms)

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Virtual_Row_6710 on 2025-04-16 21:23:45.

I (31 M) live in a 2 bedroom apt in NYC. I’ve worked hard for all that I’ve earned and chose to move into a 2 bedroom to finally get an office space and guest bedroom. My brother (28 M) has dealt with mental health issues for the past few years. He says it’s the reason he quit his job in July 2023 (prior to this, he’s often struggled holding down a job since we were teenagers). Since then he said he’s going to go into business for himself because he doesn’t want to work for anyone.

Fast forward to May 2024, he blew through his savings and moved in with my mom. In October 2024, my mom decided to downsize, which meant my brother had nowhere to go, so I let my brother move in with me. My brother ensured me that he was looking for a new job and was going to save up and would likely only need a few months. Since I moved into my 2 bedroom and could afford rent without help, I told my brother he could stay until May, rent free, in order to save up more and find his footing.

Thankfully my brother was able to find a remote job pretty quickly, and he started saving up. However, I noticed that he was not really put in that much effort into his job or spending his money that wisely. I raised this with him and he said he hates the job and is hoping to find a new one soon, and agreed with me that he could be spending his money more wisely. As soon as he said this about his job, I knew things were going to get bad soon. Lo and behold, he got fired within 3 months. He said he doesn’t regret losing the job because he hated it and he doesn’t like what it was doing to his mental health. That really rubbed me the wrong way because I’ve been letting him live with me rent free, putting off plans for my apartment, with the hopes that he was getting his stuff together.

He’s been looking for a job, but as you all know, the job market sucks so it’s been taking awhile.

WIBTA (edited, sorry I’m new here) if I still make him leave next month even if he doesn’t have a job secured (but has some savings)? I love my brother and feel for his mental health struggles, but part of me is so upset that he lost his job because he just didn’t put in much effort, and it feels like he takes for granted that he is living rent free on my dime.

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SpaceCowgirl935 on 2025-04-16 20:13:34.

Me (F24) and my wife (F25) were discussing the prospect of having kids sometime in this distant future just for fun, we both agreed that we’d both enjoy a little bundle of joy down the line and we started discussing what their name would possibly be. We thought of a few names but then we both settled on the name Arthur if they were a boy. This was just a fun little discussion we had with no serious implications but we both agreed that Arthur sounded like a good name and that we should put a pin in it for later down the line.

So every few weeks I like to have lunch with my mother who lives about an hour away. We were discussing the usual stuff like politics, my wife, and my job. Then the reoccurring question of “do you think you and your wife are gonna have kids any time soon?” I said “not soon but we’ve been talking about it a little bit and we really like the name Arthur if it’s a boy” my mother said that we couldn’t name our kid Arthur because my grandma’s sister’s abusive dead husband was named Arthur.

Now for context, I am lucky enough to have two sets of grandparents, one pair live in town with me and the other lives about 2 hours away so I’m not particularly close with them. This abusive husband is from the pair who lives 2 hours away who I’m not as close with.

So I said “I feel like grandma’s sister’s dead husband is far enough removed for me to “reuse” the name”. My mother said no and that was final.

We finished up lunch and I headed home. I later received a text message from my mom saying “do not name your kid Arthur I am serious on the matter your grandma might never recover.” I texted back that “it’s my kid and I won’t let a dead husband of a relative I’ve never met dictate the name, also I’m not planning on having kids soon so just drop it”

My mother left me on read and hasn’t texted me back. I feel like I’m in the right here and it’s not that deep of an issue but I gotta ask Am I the asshole?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/foodfuckflee on 2025-04-15 20:46:11.

I live with 2 other girls in a 3bhk, which is owned by my parents. I've known these girls since college and we're all close. They both pay rent directly to my parents but we don't have a formal agreement in place because we've always been chill.

Last wednesday one of my friends (sofia) asked if a colleague of hers (let's call her ava) can stay with us for a few weeks as she's running short on cash and her parents live a few hours away, and she needs a place to stay, we agreed that she can stay and only pay for utilities and no rent is required as such.

Now us girls (3 of us) usually stay in on Saturday night and drink/smoke watch a couple of movies, the basic stuff. Ava asked to join in, we said sure no problem, didn't even ask for any contribution for food/drinks etc., but she got super drunk, we got her to sofia's bed to sleep it off and came back to the living room.

In the meantime apparently she didn't sleep and called her parents crying over everything that has been happening in her life, her parents got very angry that she consumed alcohol (we didn't know they were conservative) and asked to speak the 'sl*ts' she was living with and ava handed over the phone to sofia.

They called her a bunch of names including a sl*t, someone who should be ashamed of being a woman because she drinks, she'll go to hell, that she brings disgrace to her parents and stuff like that. They also said that as long as ava is living here we have to 'behave' and not try to spoil their daughter, which also means no alcohol or boys or anything (the level of entitlement).

Soph started crying post that, given that both her parents are highly orthodox as well and condemn her life choices frequently, maybe that's what soph and ava bonded over idk.

Anyway, next afternoon all 3 of us decided that ava living here wouldn't work out and told her the same, we didn't force her or give a deadline for moving out, just said to find a new place. Not even 10 mins later she came and handed over her phone to sofia to talk to her dad as he was angry and wanted to talk to her. I took the phone from ava and told her dad off, given that we were going to allow her to live here for weeks without even rent and now he's the one to be blamed that his daughter is getting kicked out and I also said a bunch of stuff about his colorful vocabulary the last night and what it says about him as a man.

Ava did move out sunday night and showed up in office on monday, but she has been cold towards sofia and told a bunch of their colleagues that sofia kicked her out. Now I feel maybe I could've helped ava by just shutting up maybe. AITA?

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/sillypotato4 on 2025-04-16 20:33:36.

I 16F and my friend 17F (let’s call her D) have been friends for about 3 years. We are very close and hang out outside of school very frequently. We agreed to meet each other for a couple hours to study for our ap test. For context: every month my parents give me 100-200 dollars on a credit card so I can budget out what i’m going to spend for the month and D has been asking me almost every. single. day if I can get her coffee before school as I go very frequently. I’m going to be honest it does bother me that she asks all the time considering she has a bigger amount of money than me and she could easily just go get one herself before school and she never offers to pay me back. So knowing this, I asked her if she could pay for the food at our hang out since I got her about 5 coffees this month without being payed back. She agreed at first and then said she couldn’t anymore because she needs to buy a different friend a birthday present. I told her that my monthly allowance had run out and that I couldn’t go anymore. She seemed annoyed but I didn’t want to ask if she was upset or bring up that I was upset. I feel like it’s very selfish that she asks me for coffee almost every day but then won’t pay for our most likely 20 dollar meal. She also asks other people for coffee when I say no and I feel really used just because I drive to school and she has a license and a car but her dad drives her.

UPDATE: she reluctantly agreed to pay after I told her I couldn’t go if she wasn’t paying and to answer some questions: the coffees are about 7 dollars each and I do get myself one too when I get her one and to be clear she has had my back in the past and payed for big expensive meals once or twice when I really had no money she hasn’t been asking for the coffees for very long only about a month or so .

The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/thatmgirl on 2025-04-16 19:43:48.

My (26f) dad got married a few years ago to Kaylee. They don’t really have the best relationship but to each their own. Kaylee has been trying to get me and my brother to call her a more endearing name. She told us to give her a nickname, and then she suggested we call her “mom”, mind you our mom is very much alive and we have an amazing relationship with her. She then complained to us that when we visit them we seem to only want to spend time with our dad, more than we do with her (they live in a different country). Last night we went to get some coffee and she began to complain that we never want to be with her, and that we don’t love her even though we are her children (her words) I told her we that we do love her, but she isn’t and will never be our mom.

Now she isn’t speaking to me and is sulking around the house and I’m wondering if I went too far. So AITA?

Edit: thank you all for your replies, the nicknames you came up with made me and my brother laugh so hard. And for everyone asking she is in her late thirties.