The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/BaffleCry on 2025-04-17 15:03:54.
EDITS: CLARIFICATION + UPDATES AT THE END
I can't believe I'm even writing this right now. The answer is so obvious to me but I feel like I'm being manipulated? But I don't see why?
I (36M) have been with my wife, C (35F) for a decade. Everything is great, she's my best friend, we have fun together, and she's my favorite person to spend time with.
But as of late, something weird has been up. Look, 10 years in, you get pretty comfortable with each other. You've seen each other at your worst and really been through it. Which means, yes, we've passed gas from both ends and used the bathroom in front of each other. No big deal.
For the past year, my wife has been farting more than usual. Again, I don't care, it's not a huge problem. But these are some pretty vile stinkers. And this might seem funny, but we're in a small one-bedroom space that's poorly ventilated. So you can imagine that there's a limit to what one can take before one politely says, "Babe, I love you, but you gotta go to the bathroom."
Here's the weird part: without fail, she will deny it is her every single time. She'll look at me weirdly and question what I mean. At first, I thought she was being cheeky so I let it go. But when it started happening every single day, I got worried.
I asked her if there was something to be worried about (we're nearing 40, you never know). And she just looked at me weirdly and said with the utmost emphasis and assertion that she did not know what I meant.
The next time it happened, I asked her if she smelt it and she said no and I looked at her wide-eyed because there was no way she couldn't smell it. My eyes were burning from the smell and she's telling me she can't even smell it?
I eventually confronted her and she said it's probably a gas leak or Sulphur leak or something, which, okay fair. But we had the place inspected and nothing out of the ordinary turned up.
I tried to confront her again and her answer really, really made me reel. She said and I quote, "Could be a demon. If it smells like rotten eggs."
I'M SORRY?!
Is it really easier to try to convince me our house is haunted than just admit she's the one doing it? We live alone, I can HEAR it, but she has no reaction and firmly denies it every time.
We recently had a small spat over it where I asked her why she was choosing this hill to die on and lie for, and she looked at me like I'd given her the finger. She's gone silent and I am now fully losing my mind trying to figure out if I'm the asshole for calling her out or if I'm just going insane.
So, AITA?
TLDR: wife rips stinky ones, lies constantly to cover up.
EDIT 1: Clarification
- Someone said I should include the fact that I can hear the passing of gas many times. Not always. But most of the time.
- Her not farting in front of guests is also what is pushing my buttons. Is it real? Is she faking it? Is she just farting around me and gaslighting me constantly for a year. Let's say this is the case. Why? What's the end goal?
- Those suggesting a medical check up: I have pushed for it. She has playfully declined and the more I pushed, the firmer she got about dropping it saying I was "taking the joke too far."
- We have both had COVID twice.
- As mentioned before, we have passed gas previously in front of each other before sans embarrassment. It is this sudden increase in frequency and the alleged lying that has me puzzled.
EDIT 2: UPDATE
So...this blew up and even though I used a throwaway, I think there were enough identifying factors. She found the post. It was the third post she saw when she opened Reddit. I think I'll have to pause the replies to go have a more serious sit-down. With her consent, I will update you all further.
EDIT 3: Wow...I am at a loss for words. So after she saw the post, she was understandably pissed off. She said I violated her trust over something "trivial and untrue." I asked her to be real with me and sincerely tell me if she truly did not know what was up and she said that she could neither feel, smell, nor hear herself. She then, in alm seriousness, asked ME if I was pulling some shit, which I vehemently denied.
I then brought up the medical concerns which she tried to brush away. I offered to go in with her, and she said that I was welcome to have a doctor mess my head up but she wasn't going to do the same. When I insisted, she got really mad, and called ME controlling and gaslighting.
We are currently not speaking to each other. I have tried, but she will not budge. She said and I quote, "Why don't you cry about it to your little incel group."
I have no idea how to proceed.