The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fabulous-Sail5954 on 2025-04-17 06:26:57.
Long story short, my 10yo nephew lives with me and my mom in a different state than my sister and her other two kids. My mom has been late to her second job the past few days to pick my 10yo nephew up from school and says it’s my fault. Yesterday I texted if she needed me to get him and she didn’t reply until hours later blaming me for being late because she went to get him. Today she asked me but I was out on a date with my boyfriend 45 minutes away. I texted her I would get him from the after school program, but it would be better if his football coach could do it (he lives in the same apartment complex). She said “never mind, smh” and got him herself, making her late again. She came home on break to tell me it was mean that I didn’t want to get him, although that wasn’t what I said and I suggested another option as a back up if I couldn’t make it. I did tell her directly that I didn’t want to do pick ups/drop offs though as it’s really disruptive to my life/schedule. She’s been giving me the silent treatment since and making comments under her breath when I walk by. I work overnight and sometimes take him right when I get off work or wake up early to go pick him up. There are times I also cancel or leave plans with friends/boyfriend early to do so.
My mom and I have been intermittently taking care of my sisters (36yo) kids (15m, 10m, 5f) since they were each born. She will bring them to our apartment and stop answering the phone for days or weeks. My sister isn’t mentally or physically incapable, she just doesn’t always want to be a parent and my mom won’t set the boundary & force her to be a real, full-time parent who doesn’t do late nightly parties, then sleeps all day. She’s there for her kids, but more like a friend. I’ve spent multiple summers since I was 16 or so being a full-time “teen mom”, watching them day and night by myself while my mom worked and my sister ran the streets kid-free. I only caught a break once I got my own place in college. Now that I’m older and still kid-free, and trying to build my own family, I feel I deserve to live like it. AITA for telling my mom I should only have to help out with my nephew when it’s convenient for me? Especially since he doesn’t respect me and my mom doesn’t seem to respect that I have my own life? (I could post details about that but it’s an even longer story)