The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Dwells_in_Low_Light on 2025-04-17 02:57:05.
This is complicated, so bear with me. I (45f) am a single mom, a full time college student, and I own my home. At the end of last year, a friend (35m) reached out to me because he was in dire straights. He'd been laid off from his job (tech industry) ran out his severance package, and his unemployment was almost up. His lease on his apartment was up at the end of the year, and he wouldn't be able to afford to renew. So I offered to let him move into my office for $300 a month, to cover his utility usage while he tried to get back on his feet. I also said that he's welcome to eat dinner with us any time I cook (most nights) and anything else he wants to eat, I will get with the groceries if he venmos me the cost. As soon as he moved in, he started Door dashing, and then got a part time job delivering pizza. He still does not have a full time job in his industry. I feel like I made him a pretty solid offer, and ultimately, the goal was for him to live cheap and save his money. Instead, of doing eating with the household, and contributing to groceries, he's gotten into a habit of ordering door dash sometimes twice a day. He's spending significantly more on takeout for himself than I'm spending to feed the whole household. I know he's his own adult, and I don't have the right to control how he spends his own money, but at the same time, I feel like I'm making sacrifices to provide him a home, and while I don't expect anything extra in return for that, I do feel like the premise of him being here is based on him saving money, which he's clearly not doing. So would I be an asshole if I told him to stop ordering takeout, and eat from the kitchen instead?