Scubus

You want my treasure? You can have it!

That drone fell apart like it was made of styrofoam

Don't know who he is, other than now that he is an actor in a movie called "heat"

Well, despite having read all of the comments, it took me reading yours to finally understand the joke. I thought the joke was just googling if random people were in heat to fuck with ai. Never heard of the movie

Not a gun dude, what is a .357 to the chest gonna do to you?

Not sure if it was based on my sex strictly speaking, but my vice principle back in the day made me take off my shirt and proceeded to feel me up. She snagged me on suspicion of setting off stink bombs, then when we got to her office she asked what i had in my jacket. For unrelated reasons, it was about 2 dozen apples which I had every right to have, and she proceeded to confiscate them. When i lightly protested, literally just saying that other staff memebers gave me the apples, she told me she was not going to start a search for the stink bombs which was clearly motivated by the apples. She went through all my stuff, then made me take off my shirt. She then patted me down, chest and all, despite having no shirt on. In retrospect that was definitely firable, but teenage me didnt really care beyond the fact that she was a bitch.

Edit: And thats not derogotory towards women, i describe everyone that behaves in a childish or petty manner as a bitch. And yes, I understand that that is a form of societal sexism in relating poor qualities towards women, but most of the time its pretty obvious given context that I am not refferring to bitches in any way to do with them possibly being a woman. In fact now that i think of it i mostly call dudes bitches but i think thats because i mostly hang out with dudes.

Edit edit: also, im pretty confident that she is not a systemic issue, you just reminded me of something fucked up that happened to me and im adhd so i had to share.

Yeah, i got that. I got my app working again, not sure what the deal was with that.

Kinda joking, kinda not, but the solution to sexism seems to be autism.

Im not sure if a mod deleted it or what, but my app isnt showing our conversation past here so this is where ill have to respond. I see where you are coming from and i think that my approach would not work for everyone, but I do generally tend to have an extremely black and white view of the world. As far as i can tell i do generally tend to treat everyone the same, but for very odd reasons. My paranoia leads me to fear getting attacked by literally everyone, and i have the habitual urge to treat everyone with respect. The only thing I do thats questionable is racial and sexual humor, but that is clearly in jest, which still doesnt really excuse it. It does help i suppose that I am a racial and sexual minority

I am not qualified to speak on this in any way, but here my 2 cents:

I really like your relationship dynamic, and how you try to do everything 50/50. But keep in kind, this is not a contract. You don't have to do anything in particular so long as you're both happy.

What I'm getting at is that if your partner hasn't mentioned being dissatisfied, then by attempting to solve a non-issue you could potentially create one.

On the other hand, from your perspective, if you want to feel like you're doing more, then just do that. It doesnt have to be planned or signficant or anything at all really. It can be as simple as opening the door for them or taking out the trash or handwashing their car. Any time you have free time and want to help out more, just find something to do. If they've already done the housework, maybe that was their decision. Maybe they wanted to do that to make things easier on you. It's good to appreciate that, but it oeaves you with seemingly nothing to do in return. But housework isnt the only thing you can do to show appreciation. Give them a massage, get them a gift, secretely handle one of their responsibilities. Whatever you do, do not handle this as a bargain unless thats the relationship you two have. Ultimatums (this is my responsibility, that is yours, if you dont do yours i wont do mine) are always bad, and its not like youre doing this so they owe you. Presumably they feel the same way.

If I'm not trying to get in your pants, your sex shouldn't matter.

And I don't know why I would treat women differently then men, so I'm not sure why I need to take gender into account either.

It's different if were discussing things that are gender/sex exclusive, like periods or something.(I can't offer gender exclusive issues bc i cant think of any that arent just gender roles, which i despise) But for casual conversation why does gender matter?

To be clear, I am not trying to convert you here, I just figure you can give me a better explanation if you understand where im coming from.

I think that in this thread there is a lot of talking over people. It seems like you are coming from the empathy angle and trying to offer the most realistic solution, but a lot of the commentors aren't talking about the actual solution. A lot of them are simply stating "i should not have to ensure i do not look like a threat" in a vacuum, which is true. They're not arguing against the idea that "women should not have to worry about men", they're simply idealizing. Unfortunately things become more complicated when trying to blend those ideas.

Nah, i didnt even look for a study, thats why i mentioned that. I figured the examples i gave where enough to get the point across, the point being what I stated at the end. As far as the equating masculinity with violence, imma be honest, I don't really want to think about deeper topics right now. I wasnt trying to take anyones side, just comment an observation that I have made.

And yeah, white knighting is seen as cringe and definitely not the default, but its common enough that theres a well known term for it. The cringe part though for me is injecting yourself into a situation without knowing the facts, not the defending of a woman. Although I'm a pretty hardcore feminist, so I don't tend to look at too many things under the lens of a man or woman, I generally just pretend as though gender/sex don't exist when i interact with people to get rid of any bias.