this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 week ago (18 children)

I would love to see what data you're going off of that suggests that a large factor of male on male violence is a direct result of men stepping in for the safety of a woman. Please share what source you have for this.

Regardless, even if 100% of male on male violence was somehow because a man physically put himself in the way of a woman being attacked, my advice is still sound. There'd still be plenty of women out there who experienced violence and have not experienced male allyship. Your point about men being more likely to be killed by men than a woman is doesn't really affect women's perception of men. If a woman views men as a threat, the best way to help is to demonstrate that men on the whole are not threats. It's unlikely that anything you do to make a woman on the street more comfortable will have a lasting impact on her perception of men. One of the best things you can do is show the women around you who know and believe you that you, an average man, are safe. Call out sexism in the workplace, be respectful of her boundaries. If more men did that then women would have more experience interacting with men they know are safe. This would change their perception of men as a whole. It's a whole thing. Desensitization.

You did not say anything refuting my point or even suggest an alternative. You just said that men are also targets, which is true, but not at all relevant to the question of how to make women feel safer. I'm providing the perspective of a woman who knows and regularly speaks to other women.

[–] Scubus 8 points 1 week ago (8 children)

I don't have the study, but it's so ingrained it's literally a meme. The idea of a "white knight" is based off the idea that men defend women without actually having idea whats going on. The "how can she slap" meme came from a show where a woman slapped a guy when she wasnt allowed to, and it shocked him so he slapped her back. Instantly every dude in the crowd got up and started beating his ass, even though she literally assaulted him outside of the rules of the show. There's also the trope of guys doing dumb stuff "because love" or to show off to women.

I'm didn't read enough to follow his point nor yours outside of that, but there is definitely a point to be made that men do tend to defend women from strangers, just not from friends.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Memes are not studies. If you can't at least find one to support the point I'd hazard it was never true. You can't base an argument around a single video, or even a collection of them. Data is generally needed.

White knighting is pretty exclusively used in a derogatory manner, which would indicate that most people think it's not the default and that it's cringe.

Men doing stupid things for women is not the fault of women. It also does not translate to defending women.

If men were so ready to defend women, why was the me too movement needed? Why is there still sexism in the workplace, or at all? Do I believe that some men like to appear masculine? Yes. Do I believe that some men equate masculinity with violence? Yes. Do I think that necessarily equates to protecting women, or doing things that benefit women? Absolutely not.

You say you didn't read enough to follow, and that you don't have any studies, but that there is definitely a point to be made. Even if there is, your comment does not really support that.

This feels like how Trump got elected. Commenting about how memes proved a point and just going off of vibes, it must be right.

[–] Scubus 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Im not sure if a mod deleted it or what, but my app isnt showing our conversation past here so this is where ill have to respond. I see where you are coming from and i think that my approach would not work for everyone, but I do generally tend to have an extremely black and white view of the world. As far as i can tell i do generally tend to treat everyone the same, but for very odd reasons. My paranoia leads me to fear getting attacked by literally everyone, and i have the habitual urge to treat everyone with respect. The only thing I do thats questionable is racial and sexual humor, but that is clearly in jest, which still doesnt really excuse it. It does help i suppose that I am a racial and sexual minority

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just fyi, I was talking about this comment: https://reddthat.com/comment/18251444

Otherwise, yea, I think it's important we all do what we can. Best of luck out there.

[–] Scubus 1 points 1 week ago

Yeah, i got that. I got my app working again, not sure what the deal was with that.

Kinda joking, kinda not, but the solution to sexism seems to be autism.

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