voted Dem all the way down ballot.
As if you even need to say this when you began with proper use of cis and het
What does the US export to Mexico?
Edit: mostly building materials, chemicals, machinery, food, and oil
I’m not one to shame others for their appearance but groin hair extending to the outer hips is a bit odd.
Resolution, misleading perspective from above, ai, an open area beside the walkway. Got me, but it’s definitely a moving walkway
For anyone considering complaining about the complaining, now is absolutely the time to bitch and moan about the DNC and all of their failures. It’s 4 years until the next presidential election (hopefully) so if ever there were a time to complain, and execute the ultrawealthy, it is now.
What sort of degenerate would say that in anything but satire? I mean, I’ve both heard and read it recently, but what do we call them?
Frankly, it seems stupid to cease producing actual games. There is only so much money to be made from pachinko. Good profits? Undeniably. It’s gambling, after all. But Japan is smaller than the entirety of the world and, as far as I know, they make pachinko money from Japan alone.
First time we’ve had a blowjob princess in the Oval Office. The fellater in chief will surely improve things.
I can’t even joke about the future without waves of dread ripping through my core out to the tips of my extremities. Is it going to be ok? It doesn’t feel like it’s going to be ok.
Is it dishwasher safe?
I mean, the lessons are likely to be permanent, regardless. This might be the last few months of peace before the US turns into an authoritarian terror wasteland via project 2025. Hopefully it won’t, but all three branches of government have been compromised, which leaves little hope.
>go to a club in vrchat
>a huge titty dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing
>a fucking dude runs over as this guy
>screams 'I AM MEGALON'
>crashes the map
Write a 4chan greentext
> be me
> working at Tumblr
> David Karp comes in with a VR Headset
> "Hey, I want to show you something"
> he hands me the headset
> I put it on
> and I'm in a post-apocalyptic world
> "This is what Tumblr will be like in 10 years"
> I take off the headset
> "Wow, that was amazing"
> "Yeah, we're working on it"
> he walks away
>open thread about a problem I'm having
>first reply is by some obviously "respected" guy
>avatar is some incredibly choppy anime gif
>all caps red name, underlined
>VIP member - top contributor
>some other custom subtitle about the sites culture or some shit
>40k posts
>[SITENAME] clan
>Recent achievements: 1000 hours online, 10k posts, achieved years ago
>joined Dec 2005
>10000 Karma
>like 20 fucking red stars under his name
>From: the Underworld or some edgy shit
>MSN, Facebook, E-mail, Skype, AIM, literally everything
>personal website that has the same name as his nick, just a bunch of gifs
>signature is like 4 paragraphs, 2 quotes, like 20 fucking toolbars or irrelevant shit like nvidia user, coca cola drinker, air breather, cock sucker etc
>some edited anime image at the end of his signature with his nick stylized on it
>read his post
>"i dont know lol"
>sleeping nude, as usual
>wake up, sleep paralysis
>feel stroking against the side of my head, hear “there there, it'll be fine…”
>feel imbued with power and RAGE
>suddenly no longer paralyzed
>LAUNCH myself out of bed, unmute computer, turn on screen
>Techno Rocker Rob Mayth Remix begins blasting at max volume, looping
>grab flamberge (picture of a glowing red sword being forged)
>run all through house, waving sword about while nude, flipping lights on
>roaring "COME OUT AND PLAY, MOTHERFUCKER"
>did this for an hour
>5:30AM by the time my rage dies down
>scream "FUUUUCK YEEEEAAAAAH" turn off lights, go to sleep
>no experiences since
also
>neighbor asks me what the fuck I was doing running around naked with a large sword last night >ask him why he was watching >he shuts up
>my mom left school at 16 due to poverty
>never showed much interest in books, music etc
>retired last year
>has since been reading through all the books I left in boxes at home
>her enthusiasm for reading is so pure I feel bad for not enjoying reading that much these days
>she kept asking me if I was writing a book and said she could "never do that"
>picked up the hint and encouraged her to give it a go, without getting my hopes up
>tfw she sent me a story she wrote about two rabbits who become friends
>tfw it made me cry and feels more honest than anything I've written
How to cope with this feel bros?
I love my mum so much.
heres a story from when i was a teenager
>be 14
>my mother is very sick
>constant medical issues, mobility issues
>not fat, she literally cant balance
>being 14, i thought she was invincible and would just get over it
>shes literally riddled with cancer
>shes a fighter though, and we live in australia so amazing healthcare
>she battles every shitty illness for 2 whole years
>all this time still manages to just be my mum
>makes me lunches, helps with homework, etc
>I’m always nice to her, because shes sick but sometimes it takes it toll and i get mad
>we have to eventually get a carer in to look after her as she is getting very sick
>she is bedridden before i know it, i can hear the medical equipment from my room
>wake up one night to her gasping, walk into her room with a glass of water
>shes gasping for air, she'd fallen from bed and broken 2 vertebrae
>she goes to hospital for 2 months after that
>fast forward 3 months and she is well enough to go to the park with her best friend and me
>we laugh and she even made us some sandwiches
>she gets sicker over the next few days
>but she still does those mum things, like making my school lunches
>she barely has enough energy to get out of bed, but still makes my lunch
>get called out of class one day, told to go to the office
>there is a cab waiting for me, the principal tells me "the school is here for you" but i don’t understand
>get to hospital, taken to emergency
>watch my mother smile at me and take her last breath
>later that night I’m home, walk into the kitchen after crying for hours
>open the fridge
>laid out in there are my school lunches for the next 3 days
>she literally used the last energy in her body to make sure i had my lunches for that week
>i sat there on the floor and ate every last one
i still cant think about how caring that woman was without tearing up.
god i miss her.
>trying to make my way through Infinite Jest when all of a sudden I hear someone's ringtone.
>"oh hi! I'm in the library... yeah I can talk"
>how dare he interrupt me during my daily Brain Gain session!
>spend 15 minutes carefully listening to his conversation, waiting for him to finish
>he finally does
>carefully observe for another 50 minutes until he finishes reading
>follow him outside the library, meet him just by the front door
>"y-you shouldn't, uh, t-talk in the library"
>he looks at me, somewhat bewildered
>"g-give me your telephone"
>"you fukkin' what?"
>"it's your p-punishment... I collect them in my trophy room"
>he beats me mercilessly
>crawl back into the library
>someone checked out my book thinking it was a library copy
such is the life of a modern intellectual
>be me
>went to Japan for vacation
>has a very close online jap friend that I met when I was loitering around a guitar hero group
>we decided to meet up
>thought he's a guy
>short haired qt 9/10 appeared. Her name is Nao
>even though it's the first time meeting her irl, we hit off pretty well
>Nao talks to me about pretending to be a guy online
>she wanted to talk with someone about rock but she thinks people online wouldn't take her seriously because she's a girl
>she apologized
>"apology accepted but on one condition."
>says I wanna play guitar hero with you
>she laughed and agreed
>nicesmile.jpeg
>went to her apartment
>she hurriedly opened her ps4 and accessed guitar hero
>pretty high level
>plays
>mfw she lost
>mfw she turned off the game and started sulking
>started motivating her
>hey nao, you're a rockstar. get your game on, go, play
[A picture of Pepe the frog frowning while holding a gun to its head]
I hit another level this weekend /r9k/
>be me
>like this coworker
>finally get the courage to talk to her
>holy shit things are going well
> invites me to hangout on friday
> says her friends are burning books that go against Christianity
>seriously wtf
>whatever she’s hot
>gets the address
>it’s friday
>don't understand if I’m supposed to bring my own books
>buy $300 worth of anti-christian books
>put them in two big trash bags
>head over to book burning
>See coworker
>say hi
>"what are in the bags anon..?"
>"I...I brought books for the burning."
>"Anon I was joking about the book burning"
>it’s a normal fucking party
>don't know what to do
>pretend to get a call
>walk away and leave books
> start running home leaving my car
I snuck back on Saturday and got my car, but I think I have to fucking quit work now. Theres no way I can see her again.
What should I do? I have a shift on Wednesday.
No.411885328
>Prank Call pawn stars from history channel
>They're open 24/7
>Ask for battletoads
>They always rage
>lulz will be had
No. 411885392
(702) 385-7912
>press 4
No.411885919
>"gold and silver"
>oh man I didn't know you guys are still open
>..."yeah we are"
>oh okay, I’m looking for battletoads
>"not this shit again, its 11:00 at night"
>click
No. 411886329
File: (a picture depicting a gorilla’s head on Goofy's torso, wagging their finger and stating “try to rustle my Jimmies again motherfucker”)
No.411886517
>gold and silver
>"hey I'm really into antiques you guys got any battletoads?"
>yeah go to our ebay site we got a handheld one by Tiger
>"oh sweet man thanks"
>уер
>"bye" click
No. 411888367
>"gold and silver"
>Hi, I'm an antique video game collector and I'm looking for a very old, extremely rare title
>"if you say Battletoads I'm going to call the cops"
>What's with your discrimination on battletoads?
>hangs up
No 411890545
>hello gold and silver
hello, I'm calling from Texas and I'm interested in purchasing a certain Super Bowl ring
>absolutely sir! what team and what year (boring conversation about the ring)
>Are you interested in completing the purchase of the ring this evening?
>Yes, but I have a question first
>Yes sir?
>Does it come with BATTLETOADS!?
>click
No. 411892770
>Gold and silver
>Hey do you guys have any signed bat-
>What the hell is wrong with you nerds? Calling asking for battletoads. It's not funny or original like are you serious dude? really man?
>bats... signed bats, like from the MLB mainly the NY Yankees or the Mets, maybe even the Dodgers…what were you saying about battle toads though?
>Oh sorry sir we're just getting a bunch of prank phone calls lately
>Oh that's weird... people have no lives right? (haha)...anyway, do you guys have any signed bats from the Boston Battletoads?
>Are you fucking kidding me dude
>click
No.411893323
>gold and silver
>Hey i was wondering if you had the wii mat
>yeah we've got it
>does it work with webbed feet?
>what?
>does it come with battletoads
No 411895769
Trying it again
>Gold and Silver
>Hello, I have a few quick questions about…
>This better not be about battletoads.
>Excuse me? I needed to ask about a sword I've been looking for.
>I'm sorry sir, we've just been getting a lot of prank calls tonight. What exactly are you looking for?
>It's a very old sword, it is also very small. It fits in a BATTLETOADS hand perfectly
>Fuck you.
>click
No.411896409
>Gold and silver
>Hi I-
>This better not be about battle toads, I'm losing patience kid
>ummm no it’s not... what's a battletoad?
>its some game everyone is calling about tonight
>battletoads? yea that sounds good ill take one if you got it click
No.411897092
>Gold and Silver
>Hi how are you?
>What can I do for you?
>I'm a book dealer, you have antiques?
>What are you looking for?
>You have anything from Philip K. Dick?
>Maybe, whats the title?
>Battling on Toad Planet
>*click*
Callback, cause I'm an asshole
>You hung up on me
>Who is this?
>The customer you hung up on. That is horrible customer service.
>Listen, we don't have time for your pranks fucking kids.
>Pranks? What the hell did you just say to me? I'll have you know I'm prior military, 82nd Airborne "BattleToads. I do..
>"click*
One more time for good measure
>Gold and pawn
>BATTLETOADS *click*
No.411898453
>Gold and Silver
>Hey, I'm looking for an engagement ring for my girlfriend.
>You are going to have to call back during the day, we don't do any sales after 9
>Oh, well is there any way I can ask you a couple questions?
>Sure, shoot.
>I want a memorable ring, maybe something from a movie or a game
>mhm
>Oh! Do you guys have the ring from Battletoads?
>-sigh- fucking really, man? You must be giving that to a guy.
His insults are amazing
No 411898474
>Gold and Silver
>Hi, I was calling to inquire about an antique hand-gun
>Sure, what's the name of the gun you're looking for, exactly?
>1912 9 millimeter battletoad hand -click
No. 411898550
>Gold and Silver
>Hello this is the Las Vegas police department my name is Officer Peterson. My office recieved a call from someone here saying that your store was being Harassed by someone repeatedly asking for uh "Battletoads?"
>Uh sorry sir but I don't remember calling you can you give me the name of who did?
>Yes his name was Le Reddit
>Sorry. who was it again?
>His name was Austin Russel
>He isn't in right now...what was your name again?
>Officer Battletoad
>*Hang up*
No.411902870
>Gold and Silver
>Hey I was wondering if you deal in rare books?
>Lemme guess you want a Battletoad instruction book??
>Excuse me??
>Nevermind. Lot of prank calls tonight
>Pf. kids in the summertime can't find anything else better to do, eh?
>Yeah, well we don't really deal in books but we do have some here. What are you looking for?
>Do you happen to have anything by Hemmingway? "Old Man And The Sea" perhaps?
>I don't think so. you'd have to call during the daytime or come in to find out.
>Ah...OK. Well I also have one I’d like to sell off. It's a signed J.K. Rowling first print.
>The Harry Potter author?
>Yeah I had one of her books signed by her. "Harry Potter And The Order Of The Battletoad"
>You fuckin kidding m-
>Click
...I'm still laughing
No. 477228380
>>477226568
Drunk cop stories brah
No. 477229176
>>477228380
I got one
>Be freshman in college
>first time smoking weed
>already trashed on whiskey
>twist hard
>wonder down to a frat house
>post up outside and pretend to be security
>brothers let me and eventually leave
>asking people for IDs for about an hour
>whole time drinking hard liquor
>2 cops come up the stairs and ask to come in
>ask them for IDs
>"We are the fucking cops, we are going to come in."
>I say "riddle me this.." then proceed to puke on one of them.
>They stagger back in shock
>Ohfuck
>run my drunk ass back to my dorm
>Shave my head and beard
>see cops every day patrolling the campus
>never recognize me
I regret nothing
Reposting my all time favorite greentext.
>playing soccer in gym
>ball is up in the air
>think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal
>try
>miss ball
>kick goalie in the face
>try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm fucking sorry." at the same time
>instead end up yelling "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY!?"
>goalie is choking back tears
Had to soak last week’s shirts due to anxiety sweats but this week will probably be lighter on the poor things. So, slightly worse than usual.