I’ll take all the fruit dick the farm can provide.
Gullible
joined 1 year ago
Tangential but I always find the tumorous outgrowths on fruits and veggies to be the quality most positively associated with tastiness. Fruits and veggies are sold in stores because they’re pretty and easy to pack, not because they’re delicious. Traits associated with taste are secondary to beautification, which has led to profoundly unappetizing produce becoming common despite the same vine’s ability to create ambrosia. Which is all to say, I’d throat that tomato dick in an instant. The more dicks, the better the fruit.
He absolutely will. Granted it’ll be after all the little kinks like meningitis, aluminum poisoning, spontaneous ignition, malicious hacking, eternal nightmare states, blindness, cancer, and cluster headaches are ironed out. 90% death rate, babyyy
I often wonder when it was that tankies inherited the far gone misanthropic crazy of the Chans. Both enjoy hate-posting in each others’ communities, so cultural overlaps were bound to occur, but when did the scales tip and aggressive antisocial behavior become pervasive?
Daft punk robot rock
I’m allowed to hate things I’m not part of. My silent malice does little to dissuade folks from posting examples to lemmy
I don’t want anyone to miss out on the fun. [email protected]@sh.itjust.works should be what’s visible. Out of curiosity, does voyager offer the ability to change your display name?
Thanks, I always hope people get a little giggle out of the momentary confusion. I’m surprised whenever people are legitimately fooled. Just click my name, I’m @gullible, you silly billies!
This is what I hate about the homunculi of twitter company personalities. “Hahaa, did you see the way Walmart clapped back at IBM?“ Humanizing vast, faceless companies puppeted by sociopathic business majors triggers every rage response that my body can muster. Please, shut the fuck up
Uncivil engineers are the apex of civil disobedience.
[panel 1: A small, bespectacled man sitting at a table takes a bite of pancake. Their glass is filled with golden liquid, matching the color of the dog staring over the edge of their table. Their eyes lock.]
[panel 2: the dog’s tail shifts into overdrive and its eyes pleadingly grow to the size of saucers.]
[panel 3: the man grins and hoists a pancake above their canine companion. Its eyebrows arch and body quivers.]
[panel 4: the man releases the pancake and it stops with a soft plop atop the dog’s head.]
[panel 5: the dog searchingly turns toward the noise, pancake still resting between its eyes.]
[panel 6: the dog’s brows lift in grief as it turns right, continuing to helplessly investigate the mystery of the missing pancake.]
[panel 1: a cartoonishly drawn child wearing a pink t-shirt and black spandex shorts sits on a grassy hillside, nearly resting their back against the verdant scene. They put their weight on their elbow and pluck a flower from the grass with a smile.]
[panel 2: they lean over the flower and, whilst plucking petals, say “Loves me… Loves me not… Loves me… Loves me not…”
[panel 3: they point at the flower and focus their attention further.]
[panel 4: their finger wags at the petals as they enumerate and whisper “Loves me… Loves me not.]
[panel 5: they sit up and glance about to see if anyone is watching]
[panel 6: they simultaneously tear off two leaves and say “Loves me…”]
[panel 7: the flower shouts at the now sobbing child, “HEY, HEY, HEY. NO CHEATING! YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU’RE NOT LOVED!”]
[panel 1: a large dodo approaches a clean, well dressed vagrant youth sat beside a well fashioned wood and stone building. The youth warily guards a bag holding their belongings and the stick they use to travel with it. The dodo asks “Pardon me, do you have the time?” and the youth replies “yes, it’s -“]
[panel 2: the dodo exclaims “You have the time!”]
[panel 3: a quartet of dodos appear and excitedly chatter over one another: “He has the time.” “The time! he has it!” “At long last! Our desperate search is at an end! The time has been found!”]
[panel 4: they lean in amongst one another and whisper “PSSHHWSSSSPTT SSHSSHHPSSTT”]
[panel 5: the group approaches the youth and asks “Will you… give us the time?” And the youth replies “It’s nine fifteen.” The dodos exclaim “AAAAAHHH! NOW WE HAVE THE TIME!”]
[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]
No.250341473
>fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures
>still using horses as main transportation
No.250341651
>>250341473 (OP) #
>setting has nuclear energy
>still using coal as main energy source
No. 16346143
[a photo of a tall, cylindrical white boiler and a short, blue furnace in a brightly lit brick walled basement. A mess of silver pipes extend from and above the pair and a thin puddle encircles them.]
okay /x/, l've got something to share with you
>be me
>last night
>lying on couch, watching some tv show
>shitty weather, raining and cold after 3 weeks of unbearable heat wave
>all of a sudden I hear someone inhale and cough
>shit my pants at that moment since I know that I'm the only one in the house, girlfriend is pulling night shift
>turn down TV, can't hear anything
>shrug it off as sound from TV or my mind playing tricks, it was pretty late
>10 minutes later I hear footsteps
>ohfuckmyfuckinglife.jpg
>now I'm 100% sure that I'm not alone in the house
>jump up, turn on the light and run to the hallway to get my bat
>i grab the bat and start checking rooms
>light from hallway is illuminating parts of kitchen
>notice dirty tracks that lead to the basement
>6 feet away from where I was lying
>ohmyfuckinggod.webm
>slowly open the basement door
>there's no fucking light down there
>go to get a flashlight
>return with flashlight in one hand and a bat in the other
>slowly go down the stairs
>I can hear something rustling in the far corner of the basement
>someone is breathing heavy and digging through stuff
>I stand near the boiler
>peek around the corner and I can see tall figure standing illuminated by the dim light of a street light from small basement window
>scared shitless I turn off the torch in hopes he wont notice me
>he was tall, I'm 6,2 and he was taller than me
>anyway, as I was standing near the boiler I noticed that it was leaking all over the floor
>has anyone had that kind of a problems?
>can I repair it myself or do I need to call a repairman?
>pic related
No. 16346909
>>16346143 (OP)
Spray some flex seal on it
That's not all they do
>Be at home very early one morning, only my brother and I are awake, pitch black outside
>Dogs are out (an idiotic water pointer and a fat beagle)
>Beagle starts baying, pointer starts whimpering
>l open the door for them, they don't move, both looking at one section of the porch, frozen
>step outside, turn on the light, my brother thinks its a burglar, is carrying the fireplace poker
>Opossum hisses
>Beagle bays again, pointer hides behind me
>Brother freaks, swings the poker, hits me in the head
>I go down
>Opossum hisses louder, starts shitting everywhere
>I'm shouting
>My brother's shouting
>Beagle passes out
>Pointer tries to hide behind my prone body
>Opossum waddles back into the woods
>Shit and blood are everywhere
Not even once
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>racist
>appropriating a classic PoC beard style
>it doesn’t even fit their face
Lol. Lmao, even.