this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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The Onion

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The Onion

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[–] [email protected] 133 points 8 months ago (3 children)

That took me a dystopian amount of time to realize it was the onion...

[–] [email protected] 39 points 8 months ago

They got me too for a few moments.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 8 months ago (1 children)

What's a "dystopian amount of time"?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 8 months ago (1 children)

An amount of time that would only be expected if you're living in a dystopia.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Idk if I were living a dystopia I would quickly assume is true because is a dystopia. The issue is now that are in-between.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago

Haha. I thought the same at first. Sounds about par tor the course.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 8 months ago

I wonder where he got that money to buy that food too. Probably from the pockets of a poor billionaire 😢

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago

That’s what they get for showing up to work all fed and shit. Bet they’re the types of people who try to eat during working hours. Scum.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

If she was so hungry then why didn't she die ?

Freaking fakers.

[–] ElBarto 22 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Amazon's such a shit company that I believed it, it wasn't until I scrolled and noticed the onion logo that I worked it out.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Yeah, I ate the Onion at first on this one too.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 8 months ago

Damn employees, digesting instead of working.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Food was purchased outside of the company store

[–] pomodoro_longbreak 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

This I could actually see happening. Or make it such a food desert that it's unthinkable to even try

[–] semi_sentient 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I read somewhere that company towns are starting to make a comeback. It’s only a matter of time until rentals are contingent upon you patronizing their brands.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

We need human extinction or a new new deal...

I don't even care which anymore

[–] [email protected] 9 points 8 months ago

Next they’ll start testing to make sure they still have urine in their bodies when they clock out, no taking any bathroom breaks on the clock!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

This isn't too far from reality, it seems.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Given that this is the same company that makes people pee in bottles and keeps them after hours without pay... yeah not big surprise.. actually it is a big surprise... given that this is just satire