this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2023
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 134 points 1 year ago (1 children)

SEO was a mistake, search engines should have remained mysterious and unknowable just like all of the other cryptids.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That's the point of SEO, it just got gamed and everyone lost their monkey minds when Google tried to tweek it to prevent the gamification

[–] [email protected] 96 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This was literally a result of how Google ranked pages on its site. Try looking up any recipe, or today's wordle answer...

IGN isn't great but it's the #1 result because of exactly this.

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yup, SEO is a large contributing factor to the downfall of journalism.

[–] Tb0n3 40 points 1 year ago

Leading cause of dead internet.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 1 year ago

Holy shit, the accuracy of this “article”. I laughed out loud in the fist paragraph, I always hate having to scroll through these filler texts and look for the answer

[–] [email protected] 57 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

I’ll tell you what pisses me off. I’m currently playing one of the greatest games ever made.

I googled something like, “how to find sidequest area”.

“You can do this before or after very important character dies.”

Suggested searches:

Can I cure the main character’s aids?

Can I prevent the death of other main character?

Can I prevent the death of beloved side character?

Why does the game end with this event?

I have been so fucking pissed.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I am spoiled too about this fact. I'm so sad about it and I am still some hours away from it happening.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Yeah I know it’s getting close for me too. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone but if you’re playing the same game as me, I just traveled up to the top of the map where those people clearly don’t want you there (the non quest npcs).

I absolutely love this character. I like that they made this choice because it brings so much life to him when faced with death. I can’t imagine it going any other way really.

Still, I wish I didn’t know. I wish I could have a little hope for him in the back of my mind.

I’m even engaging with the world differently like I’m the one dying. It’s crazy how good it is. It really is.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago
[–] Ladrius 3 points 1 year ago

Well I have no idea what people are playing but I'm curious.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I know this is degrading, but bing actually beats Google here. And if you prefer the old google ui and bing search results: yahoo

[–] Grass 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I remember being encouraged to write like this in school. It's so dumb though. By the time I've read all the fluff I don't even remember the topic. Why should I subject anyone else to this. Does the teacher really want to read this meaningless drivel 20-30 times?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I once received a verbal warning at work because my emails were too brief.

I have since moved to Spain where the email style is more brief and to the point. It is much better.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think I once saw an email of a professor in response to a student's question that looked something like this:

Dear [student name],

No.

Regards.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That professor achieved the perfection which we should all aspire to.

[–] JamesStallion 2 points 1 year ago

I have selected Faresh's professor from the candidates. His email was....efficient.

[–] Grass 3 points 1 year ago

As it should be, I figure. My work emails are pretty funny. Everyone follows standard letter format, but the main part is so short and minimal that it feels dumb to have used the proper greetings and closing format.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

At some point during uni with these kinds of texts, I just figured the teacher liked boring herself

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What this post misses is that the GameFaqs page is on the 3rd page of search results, because it doesn't pay for ads from Google, while the rest of the 1st page is full of "doctors' recommendations" telling you that they're really not as bad as apples.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

What this comment misses is the GameFaqs page is on the front page because the search takes place in 2001.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

You complain until you can't find the table

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

skill issue

[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

fucking every site. Yesterday's search "after credits the marvels." The results:

The history of the Marvel company is in many ways a...

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm pretty sure they're using automated tools to generate this shit too. They just stuff it full of nonsense like a C-student in an English class trying to make a word count minimum.

The worst are articles about when you search when the new season of a show starts. You then get recommendations for junk articles, written just like this, that don't even have the fucking answer.

The year it peaked is debatable , but the Internet on a whole is just getting worse.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Soon we will need AI summarizers to extract the tiny grains of useful information out of those bloated, AI-generated articles. We'll come full circle, except everything is a bit more crappy and some people make more money...

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Like SEO on steroids, articles written by AI will become longer and longer, while AI will try harder and harder to summarise it all. Article size will grow exponentially.

It's 2032, each webpage is now 5 to 10 GB of Text and ads. 99.9% of the Web traffic is AI traffic. Roughly half is AI reading content to summarise it, the other is AI posting content.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Yea but.. how else would you possible scroll past 25 ads?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

Anon forgot the fandom wiki page for apple: A blank article with one shitty jpeg and ten thousand full screen ads.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

All the details, except for the apple boss fight. Always getting the most important features.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Forgot the endless prompts to go to page n+1 for n+1 times the dose of ads!