Once you see how its all a cash grab, really turns you off.
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I spent a chunk of change 7 years ago to get cameras, alarm system, smart garage door, smart lights, and some speakers and I haven't spent a penny since except for some little batteries for the alarm sensors. Not sure what you're on about
Yep, completely true for me at least. I have a colleague who has everything smart though, so it's certainly not everyone, but I keep my house intentionally as dumb as possible. The only household thing I have that is "smart" is my robot vacuum, but we hardly ever use it anymore because doing it with a good old fashioned vacuum cleaner is so much quicker.
Edit: I do have a smart tv as well, actually, but with google assistant and the microphone disabled.
Problem is most mechanical locks aren't very good either. See lock picking lawyer on YouTube. Plus, the weakest link in electronic infrastructure is often physical. I can't find it right now, but there are some pretty amusing red team videos on YouTube of various physical vulnerabilities. I think people know more about the shortcomings of their particular area, so are more likely to use the things they don't specialize in.
moved landline to Gvoice 15 years ago and set it to dnd. house phone never rings. get a transcript of any voicemail.
There's Home Assistant to allay some of the concerns: https://www.home-assistant.io/developers/license/
But yeah, to basically securely configure your home you should treat the network your Smart Home Wifi devices connect to as untrusted. Some routers basically provide a separate SSID exactly just for this or allow for configuring separate VLAN. You don't really know what they have installed nor is there a general open standard you can root or flash, each is usually its own Chinese rebranded proprietary mess.