Could be either, could be a bit of both. Hard to say really. My guess is the last one.
Now go do your chores, you lazy little hottie.
this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
633 points (98.3% liked)
No Stupid Questions
35910 readers
1111 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
🧹🧽☺️
Damn your GF wasn't kidding 😳😳
It's an actual thing. When it feels more like you have a teenage son than a partner it's hard to get turned on by them, even if you weren't already too exhausted from clearing up after them.
So much this. Working all day is exhausting. So is keeping the house. Having to do both all of the time when you have an able-bodied partner? Gross. No one wants an adult child as a partner.
Men have no idea just how exhausting it is to have to carry all of that weight. Well, some do, I’m sure. I haven’t met any, personally, but that doesn’t mean they’re not out there.
Having a partner that is an actual partner gives you the room to breathe and relax. And honestly, that is the real turn on.
I'm a man who had to do this. My partner was going through some pretty rough times in grad school, then left school, and had a lot of mental health work to go through. I was trying to be supportive, but we had to have a few conversations where I said that I didn't find her exactly attractive in the moment because it felt like I was more of a guardian than a partner. It's gotten a lot better since then, but it can be hard when your partner is going through hard times (or is just lazy, in some cases) and doesn't see things as you do.
Everyone needs to put in effort. It doesn't need to be symmetrical (meaning you don't have to do all the same things), but it should be approximately equal in terms of effort in both the relationship and your living situation
load more comments
(5 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
This could be climate-related. She might mean you're working too hard and need to cool off. Try to stay hydrated out there because you're looking hot.
This message has been brought to you by hydrohomies.
In my experience it’s both 😁
It's definitely both. Love when my husband puts work and effort into our home and life together. 😍😍
It's such a bummer he's so tired after all the chores lol
load more comments
(2 replies)
Both was going to be my answer too
You should read The Five Love Languages. This is an actual thing. Different people express and receive love differently. “Acts of Kindness” is one of them. My partner loves when i do things, and i know this, so i do it because i know it makes her feel loved. And that’s hot.
If Books Could Kill did a good podcast about The Five Love Languages: https://www.stitcher.com/show/if-books-could-kill/episode/the-5-love-languages-302265819
I actually just listened to that episode yesterday, that whole show is pretty great (also, the one author's other podcast - 5-4 ("a podcast about how much the supreme court sucks") - is consistently amazing), but for anybody out there who doesn't do podcasts and wants a summary,
tl;dl All the good ideas in it were stolen from other places and the author is a secret fundamentalist who thinks women need to get back in the kitchen and gay people need to get back in the closet. For example, this Q & A article from 2013
Q: “My son has recently told us that he is gay. I’m having a very hard time dealing with it. How can I help him with this and still show love?”
Gary Chapman: Disappointment is a common emotion when a parent hears one of their children indicate that he/she is gay. Men and women are made for each other—it is God’s design. Anything other than that is outside of that primary design of God. Now I’m not going to try explain all the ins and outs of homosexuality, but what I will say is this—we love our children no matter what. Express your disappointment and/or your lack of understanding, but make it clear that you love them and that you will continue to love them no matter what. I would also encourage you to ask your child to do some serious reading and/or talk to a counselor to try to understand him/herself better while continuing to affirm your love.
Also, from this review of the podcast
For the episode on the book, Shamshiri went back to the original ’90s text, which contains, among other debunked gender stereotypes, an assertion in the “Physical Touch” chapter that men want sex all the time, whereas women need emotional connection for intimacy to be satisfying. (Nowhere in Chapman’s books is any attention paid to the romantic dynamics of queer couples—at one point, Shamshiri jokes that such relationships are “like the female orgasm, not discussed or implied.”) In one chapter, a woman tells Chapman that her husband verbally berates her and refuses counseling. Chapman, in the 1992 version, suggests that the husband’s love language is physical touch and counsels the wife to start initiating sex frequently and more aggressively. When she balks because sex with him makes her feel used and unloved, he advises her to draw upon Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount in order to gather strength. In the anecdote that appears in later editions, Shamshiri mentions, Chapman simply suggests that the wife be more physically affectionate in general. Although the sexual mandate is less explicit there, the idea that sex is a sacrifice that women must endure in heterosexual marriage persists.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(2 replies)
IME, many women have a thing for when a guy is just being motivated and doing something active.
Could be real, either way I definitely get laid more when I do stuff around the house. I read a study that basically suggested doing chores helps because it relieves the stress of your partner, freeing them up to feel a little more amorous.
The question is really why does she have to trick you into doing chores? :')
I'm easily distracted and have trouble finishing tasks. case and point: I made this post while doing the dishes, and im currently procrastinating tidying up all the kid toys 🙃
do you have adhd?
Massively.
load more comments
(2 replies)
Both is the answer. You do look hot doing chores. Also chores done is a turn on. It's like oysters and chocolate, but your house is tidy and it's not gross.
It's absolutely both. Her "love language" is probably "acts of kindness". That's how my wife is. So, she is probably seeing it as an attractive act, and telling you that also makes you do it more often.
It's a thing. There's nothing less attractive than having to play parent to an adult who can't pull their own weight in managing a household.
Can't recognize that a full trash can needs to go out without being told? Can't realize dishwashers that are full need to be run without reminding? Can't find where clothes need to go when they're clean?
If that workload is falling on one person most of the time, over time it can become a source of resentment.
When both people have full time jobs, it's like coming home to a second job.
Just say you feel the same way when she does chores
If it is a trick, they're all in on it. As a joke I sent my wife a picture of me scrubbing the tub without a shirt on.
Didn't realize the effect it would have.
load more comments
(1 replies)
My wife calls it "chore-play" and it seems to really work for her. Even if its a trick, the house will be clean and everyone gets a little fun, what's the harm?
Take it from me, men who do chores around the house are so hot.
So are men who buy tickets to "Barbie".
load more comments
(4 replies)
Yes
i think dudes are hot when they just sit around and do nothing, with their shirt off of course, so what do i know
If I push my tummy out while sitting on the couch I can hold a beer on it like Homer Simpson
load more comments
(3 replies)
Independence and self respect is sexy, and doing chores is a form of independence (you know how take of yourself) and is a form of self respect (you don't let yourself live in filth). It also implies that you don't view your gf as the designated house maid and not being humiliated/burdened like that is a big relief, especially for women who grew up around sexism. Who might have internalized the idea that men doing chores is on par with something like gift giving or going on dates, something special done out of love, and not just something that needs to be done. She could genuinely find you doing chores sexy, but also having to do less chores is a bonus no matter who you are, it can be both.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Some women's libido goes down from the stress of seeing a lot of chores needing to be taken care of. Doing those chores reduced the stress. Going further and doing what is normally their share of housework can be an act of affection.
It's also noted in a study of women asked to rate a number of pictures of men on various factors including attractiveness and reliability. When they are also asked for dating preferences, as the age range went up, the prioritization on reliability ratings also went up. Doing chores is reliable AF.
More to the point, she's already told you she likes it. Just believe her.
Let’s be honest she’s trying to get some and your oblivious. Wake up and read the room 😁😁
load more comments
(2 replies)
Well, there's this book:
https://datinggoddess.wordpress.com/2007/08/15/book-of-womens-fantasy-men-doing-chores/
I've known many women who claim something like this. Even if true, every one of them would drop their drawers for a lead guitarist living out of his car. So you know, there's all types of sexy
If he's living out of his car, she doesn't need to clear up after him. Do keep up.
You wanna be hot or not?
Short answer yes
Long answer it might be a ploy but it'll most likely work. If nothing else you doing your part gives her more time to be attracted to you.
Query not compliable. I don't know how you look.
Personally, I’m so busy, and have so much mental load that just one less thing I have to do is a breath of fresh air. Now, if husband thinks to himself hey I have a little spare time, I can totally help AttackBunny out and do one of her chores for her….uh…. Yeah. Super hot. Idk if it’s as much about the actual act of doing the choice, or more likely, the though behind it, but yeah.
view more: next ›