this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
865 points (90.6% liked)

Programmer Humor

36340 readers
500 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
(page 2) 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

Definitely ancient since C# has been cross-platform for 4 years with Dotnet Core. If you include Mono, make that 19 years.

[–] Gentoo1337 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Finally, a computer analogy that's not about cars

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I wonder what Erlang/Elixir would be, some kind of nano-bot hive mind?

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Malbolge would be a bioweapon and you're patient zero

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago (2 children)

still waiting for some of these memes to include haskell...

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Haskell is the "words as a weapon", a heavy book that nobody really understands but is great to thump heads

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Hey now! PHP may be old and a bit clunky, but it gets shit done. I'd say PHP is the Colt repeating rifle, since PHP won the internet and the Colt won the West. Much like the Colt, there are better tools available today, but if you want stuff done reliably and quickly, PHP and the Colt are good choices.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

can confirm. am crazy and dangerous. 🤣

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Rust is correct. Mostly ignore as useless, but is the safest and reliable weapon, on a good hands can hit someone hard and kill it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago

Rust used to be correct in 2014 when this was made. It's pretty fucking good, now

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

That hose got me a company and many good jobs, still loving the hose to build.grrwt projects. I love my PHP

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Since my father makes anywhere from $400-$1200 an hour coding in COBOL, what's COBOL?

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nice seeing Mathematica and Lisp mentioned. I feel like Marvin the Martian after reading.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

c# is absolutely a laser rifle strapped donkey nothing has ever spoken to me so much b4

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

haha php bad, kill yourself 👌 lolol 💯👌👌😂😂😂

If you're going to make these "If programming languages were X" jokes, at least be a little bit creative with them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

It's an old sharepic, they didn't make it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (3 children)

PHP is a sturdy club. You aren't going to take over the world with it but you can reliably put a dent in something.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I learned perl to make IRC bots and to customize bulletin boards in the late 90s, early aughts.

I owe a lot to that language as it impressed a woman with my skills in it. I got my first marriage and eldest son out of it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Funny. I learnt perl to make an IRC bot. I didn't even get a tee shirt, let alone a wife and son

load more comments
view more: ‹ prev next ›