this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 220 points 10 months ago (3 children)

For non-Americans, Fort Wayne is very, very far from the ocean. Like a long distance, then over a huge mountain range and then another long distance.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If it is a package from China it wouldnt change anything right?

[–] [email protected] 89 points 10 months ago (5 children)

I would think that no matter where it's coming from, falling into the ocean in Fort Wayne would be a neat trick.

[–] [email protected] 62 points 10 months ago (1 children)

clipped through the terrain and fell to the bottom of the map where the global water level is set at

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Thats what happens when you cheap out on map designers and have one old guy do everything that grew up in a time before computers were a thing even. Oh and of course he is also the only guy programming and maintaining the engine, has to do all the character conception and management demands some immersive sandbox experience with particle physics down to quantum level.

No wonder the updates just get shittier and shittier.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Nah, they didn't grow up before computers: they were programing mainframes in the 60s. Those programmers can write you an absolute masterpiece of software ... in COBOL. Also, they don't bother with documentation because they're intimately familiar with every line of code considering they created the whole system from scratch 40 years ago.

The point at when you're "screwed" is when they retire and some poor bastard inherits an inscrutably complex system, written in a 60 year old language no one uses anymore, and with zero documentation.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

But does Fort Wayne just mean it’s the next checkpoint on the way to the destination?

So could easily be some port on the west coast where the container fell off a ship?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Most likely but it's funnier if you don't think about that.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

Trebuchet. Really powerful trebuchet

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Maybe they’re testing out hypersonic mail planes. You lose a box somewhere over Fort Wayne and you’re just goin so goddamn fast it doesn’t land till it hits the gulf

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[–] octoperson 22 points 10 months ago

Thanks. This was useful context.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What mountains? There aren't any mountains between Fort Wayne and Mobile, AL. (Or between it and Fort Albany, ON, for that matter)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Congratulations, you got me. The Appalachians don't go all the way across the entire North American continent. I apologize for daring to make such a suggestion.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (3 children)

To be fair, I initially wanted to comment about how clever you were because even most Americans would forget about the Ozarks being in the way, but then I checked a map and realized they were too far west.

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 10 months ago (2 children)

At least you got an answer to how your parcel was lost.

Better the a generic lost on transit email.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 10 months ago

2019–2023, 100% WFH until recently. Once or twice a week, notified a package couldn't be delivered because no one was home.

Became mates with the local postman because I was always home for domestic deliveries and just taught the house to "suffere" the extra day for postage instead of +$3 for faster international shipping since it was going to be guaranteed and ultimately faster. PLUS it gave out local post man a chance to chat with me and give the dog pats and a treat.

[–] AlligatorBlizzard 8 points 10 months ago

A friend of mine had the funniest lost in transit story - they've got genetic joint issues among other things, and they needed a pair of crutches with forearm rests. Turns out the only manufacturer of those still left is based out of South Africa, so they contacted the company and arranged for a set to be shipped over to the US (and it was still cheaper than it would have been through insurance). They got an email from the company and it turns out the shipment to the port got hijacked. The apologetic representative from the company drove a set down to the port and my friend got their crutches a couple weeks later and a funny story out of it. And probably the other set of crutches eventually got to someone else who needed them, so win win, lol.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Did they at least take a photo of the package having been successfully delivered into the ocean?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

It’s in a fiberglass submarine.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Maybe with one ship worker screaming out “WILSOOON!!!”

[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Ah yes... the famous Indiana Ocean.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

I'm an idiot I read that as Indian ocean and thought somebody didn't know it exists. No I just can't read apparently.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 10 months ago

It still says its in transit so I guess it'll bob back up again any day now.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (1 children)

What a weird place for it to fall into the ocean.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Well at least better then a fire at a sea parks.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I mean, if she has said that her parent are drowned, I'd be the happiest man in the world. But, a fire?

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[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago

In the seaside town of Fort Wayne, IN 🤔

[–] [email protected] 35 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 10 months ago

Maritime salvage rules apply, get a boat and go reclaim not only your package but everyone else's!

[–] pastermil 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 10 months ago
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[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Getting an Oregon Trail vibe from that message.

[–] Imgonnatrythis 6 points 10 months ago

Package delayed due to:

Arrowed!

[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (1 children)

that shit happened to us on naval ships a few times while underway, but they recovered the mail. people were smoking dunked cigarettes lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

I'm sure naval officers are no strangers to wet cigarettes

[–] [email protected] 12 points 10 months ago

Package was being delivered by GOB Bluth.

"Return from whence you came!"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Nah, Amazon just disables tracking altogether as soon as it's running late.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (3 children)

People might think you're joking, but they literally just did that to me last month.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 10 months ago

That's a river, not Ocean

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Killer whale anti boat conspiracy in action

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

Did they jump after it to scan the barcode for a tracking update or what?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

gonna be a wet package

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