this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2023
370 points (100.0% liked)
196
16098 readers
2634 users here now
Be sure to follow the rule before you head out.
Rule: You must post before you leave.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
What am I missing here? Did people get horny for Vaporeon?
Pretty much yes. Some guy on 4chan made a post detailing why Vaporeon is the best Pokemon to have sexual relations with, and it blew up.
Here’s the copypasta (sorry)
Click to view (NSFW)
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3"03' tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they're large enough to be able handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there's no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. They can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it'd be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white. Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat+high HP pool+Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come for more
I know these are just copypasta, but it's always alarming seeing people act like sex is a violent act from the man onto the woman, but praising it. High HP? Armor? Shouldn't sex feel good for both parties involved?
My eyes are bleeding.
There's a Vaporeon copypasta
Compatibility
Should I be judged for understanding this?
It's not your fault
No no no no no no no
Everyday, we stray further from the light.
This is cursed knowledge
Good thing my favorite eeveelution is flareon then-
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Perfect!!
