this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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It already didn’t look great for Lauren Boebert when she got kicked out of a Denver theater for being disruptive during a performance of the Beetlejuice musical — or when video emerged of the voluble Republican congresswoman being escorted out of the theater. But that was hardly the end of this saga. A second video showed Boebert vaping in front of a pregnant woman, who claimed that the lawmaker refused to stop doing so when asked. The story really went nuclear when a third surveillance video leaked, showing that Boebert and her date were getting awfully comfortable with each other during the show.

Unfortunately for Boebert’s campaign to rebrand as a normal lawmaker, more juicy details keep coming out. Boebert — who has condemned drag shows in the past — was co-groping at Beetlejuice with an Aspen bar owner whose establishment hosts drag shows and participates in an event called Aspen Gay Ski Week. “I learned to check party affiliations before you go on a date,” Boebert told TMZ, although the pair have been reportedly seeing each other for months now.

In an interview with OAN, Boebert, who has been arrested four times, said that she is “very known for having an animated personality.” But the private incident in public is having a big impact on her professional life, distracting from her effort to impeach President Biden. Days after the incident, she was removed from the list of speakers for the Texas Youth Summit later this month.

At least she has her defenders. In a long Facebook post published Monday, Boebert’s ex-husband, Jayson, said he shared the blame for the incident, claiming that his acts of cheating “broke her down.” While it’s odd to have your recent ex-husband come to your defense for getting handsy in public, Jayson Boebert is something of an expert in this realm, having once been arrested for exposing himself to a teenager at a bowling alley.

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[–] [email protected] 171 points 11 months ago (3 children)

But she can shake a dick at a theater.

[–] [email protected] 74 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Her first husband wiped his dick out in a bowling alley the first time they met...

This time the dick stayed in her dates pants, so I guess she's maturing?

[–] [email protected] 70 points 11 months ago

Whipped. He whipped his dick out. Wiping ones dick out in a bowling alley conjures incredibly unfortunate mind-images. Like Kingpin except Woody gets murdered and then it's just Amish Cousin Eddie evading taxes and cursing the United States from Canada for the next 80 minutes.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I think you meant "whipped" but PLEASE do not correct it. Wiped is so much better.

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[–] [email protected] 154 points 11 months ago (5 children)

“I learned to check party affiliations before you go on a date,” Boebert told TMZ

Doesn't this entirely invalidate the claims of people like Boebert that woke-ism ruins people's personalities and thought processes? Shouldn't she be able to see that this guy was a degenerate trans groomer or whatever without needing to know his "political affiliation"?

If not, perhaps the negative side effects of people-with-different-opinions is not actually a fatal condition, after all.

[–] [email protected] 85 points 11 months ago

you're applying logic.
you're not the target audience.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Fellow freaks found each other and now she decides that her shiat doesn’t stink. Hope she stocks up on ‘c’ batteries cuz that the closest she’s gonna get to getting her ditch itched

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

getting her ditch itched

Stealing that.

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[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Doesn’t this entirely invalidate the claims of people like Boebert that woke-ism ruins people’s personalities and thought processes?

We really gotta stop giving a shit what these people think.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago

Except a lot of "these people" are running our government...

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[–] [email protected] 112 points 11 months ago (3 children)

showing that Boebert and her date were getting awfully comfortable with each other during the show.

The fuck is with all these news articles and just glazing over the most egregious acts?

She wasnt getting "awfully comfortable" she was fuckin jerking the dude off and getting her tits pulled out and fondled in a public space where children were present.

Stop sugar coating it. She should be put in a jail cell or out on bond right now. Countless grown adults have been permanently marked as a sexual predator for life for much less than that.

Why the fuck is she not out on bond right now, or in a cell? It was caught live on camera???

[–] [email protected] 31 points 11 months ago

Indeed. She is now a sex criminal, regardless if police have the temerity to go after it.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago

The last line also way underplays it. Boebert was the minor

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[–] [email protected] 89 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I'd like to see her face charges. If you or I did something like this, we would be registered sex offenders. You'd think the party of "law and order" would be calling for her to step down and face the music...

[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You’d think the party of "law and order" would be calling for her to step down and face the music…

Nah, it's only a problem if the other tribe does it.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Democrats would be screaming for a resignation, and they would get it. Appalling the GOP skates over shit like this, with zero shame.

I'm sure she's getting a solid talking to, behind closed doors.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Rather than calling out their hypocrisy I like to just call them out for what they actually believe. When they say "law and order" it is a dogwhistle. And they don't believe in egalitarianism when it comes to the law or anything else. Rules for me and not for thee because they believe they exist higher up in a socioeconomic "hierarchy". So they don't deserve to go to jail for public display of sex but the "others" they perceived as below them deserve to go to jail for performing a drag show.

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[–] [email protected] 64 points 11 months ago (2 children)

While it's odd to have your recent ex-husband come to your defense for getting handsy in public, Jayson Boebert is something of an expert in this realm, having once been arrested for exposing himself to a teenager at a bowling alley.

The ~~Aristocats~~ Conservatives!

[–] [email protected] 27 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not sure if it was the bowling alley incident, but he exposed himself to Lauren and some of her friends when they were underage. Who sees an older man flash them and says "that's the guy I'm going to marry?" (Well, apparently, Lauren Boebert.)

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Just *chef's kiss*.

[–] starrox 61 points 11 months ago (2 children)

On one hand I find the American prudishness extremely ridiculous and amusing. On the other hand I get the outrage. - Not because of tiddies but because of the blatantly obvious hypocracy.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (10 children)

She was performing sexual acts in front of stranger's children, at a theater. I don't care what country you live in, that's not appropriate behavior.

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[–] [email protected] 57 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Jayson Boebert is something of an expert in this realm, having once been arrested for exposing himself to a teenager at a bowling alley.

How the hell can they say that without mentioning that one of the teenagers he exposed himself to was Bobert?

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Boebert: "I learned it from you!"

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago (2 children)

~~the Beetlejuice Debacle~~

performing sexual acts in a public theater in the presence of minors

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Wait. Is this that "exposing kids to sexual content" that the right is always screaming about while pointing at books which have the slightest LGBTQ references? Could they be projecting?!!!

fakes a shocked expression

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[–] [email protected] 55 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (12 children)

Nor fucking should she!

Remember, Paul Reubens(RIP) was arrested for getting his junk out at an adult theater. This trailer park queen ~~had her tits out~~ was getting felt up and was diddling her boyfriend ~~in front of~~ around kids in a ~~well lit~~ theatre! There's even video of them! She needs to be charged and put on a list!

Edit: Better? Can we all at least agree that she's a trashy piece of shit?

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Miss holier-than-thou was sexually groping, and being groped in a public theater, and really enjoying herself. So yeah, that's going to stick with you when you're a public figure. LOL

[–] [email protected] 46 points 11 months ago (1 children)

*while surrounded by children.

she should be charged with the relevant charges and placed on the sex offender registry.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Or at the very least treated with the same harshness Republicans have for "drag queen story hour."

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (5 children)

Wouldn't it be sad if that would be what brings her down? Like not her being a horrible person and shitty at her job that she's not qualified for.

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 11 months ago (3 children)

May this story haunt her to the grave.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Putting Bobo aside, can you imagine what an incredible douche canoe of a club owner this guy must be? I'm imagining his employees having to deal with the type of narcissist that gets excited about going out with a trashy congressperson.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago

Ironically, this one bar is probably one among many bars he owns, and for him, the event programing is just a way to get bodies into the door, rather than any sort of moral ally-ship.

dude could still totally be a bigot. just one that puts money over bigotry. Not sure if that makes him an even bigger ass or not.

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago

If it takes no imagination for you to be branded and known on the hill as Congresswoman Hoebert, maybe practice situational awareness.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Once upon a time, and decorum, politicians actually showed some dignity and resigned over this sort of thing. Anybody remember Al Franken and air honking hands? There is no self respect among the Republicans. What a double standard. What a bunch of hypocrites.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

What a bunch of hypocrites

Especially the last part. They go around pointing fingers, but it doesn't faze them when it's their own in the hot seat. They'll just band together, no matter how deep in shit or depraved they are.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (2 children)

She’ll be alright. I hear she’s pretty handy.

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[–] gravitas_deficiency 25 points 11 months ago

Lmao the last sentence is outstanding.

If you’re out of the loop, Lauren was the teenager to whom Jayson exposed himself.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (5 children)

So…. She’s saying this is distracting her from Hunter and that’s a problem…

Maybe hunter could take one for the team, invite her out to camp David or something.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Told my wife we should start referring to handjobs in public as Boeberts.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Guaranteed flaccidity if that happens.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

How absolutely unhinged is it that this is a real headline and story.

[–] 31337 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Meh, this whole thing will probably help her. The ultra-religious won't vote for a "fetus killing, groomer Dem" no matter what. They'll make excuses for not considering her a groomer while calling drag queens groomers for doing nothing sexual around children. And she'll probably gain votes from the "Hell Yeah, YeeHaw" crowd.

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