this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

It's about to be 2pm here and I'm laughing hard so it's not just you and not just the late hour 🤣

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

I've been giggling at this since I saw this in the morning. I'm trying to fall asleep now and I'm still here

[–] [email protected] 34 points 11 months ago (4 children)

We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we've elected to expand our popular 'Bees in my desk!' policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you're a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

But resistance is fu...n? :-P

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Hey there team members!

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

Bee seeing you! -hr

[–] [email protected] 29 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You cannot stop her. Prepare for bees.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

That Oprah meme has evolved huh

[–] MartinXYZ 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

"I like my women like I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES!"

[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Does this fetish have a name? Just so I can explicitely avoid it.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

oviposition

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

Not (to my knowledge) a fetish , just an Eddie Izzard line from the aptly named stand up special Glorious 😁

[–] [email protected] 14 points 11 months ago

Why would you want to stop her? Don't you want the bee crisis to be resolved?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Does she have dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark bees fly out?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Smithers, release the hounds.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ugh I read "orifice" instead of "office" at first.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I wouldn't wish harm on the bees, maybe bees is a product name for a vibrator though. If it's not it should be.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

Not the Bees!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does she work at Applebees?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Only if the bees are strictly proprietary and designed to stop working after a few years.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

Mandatory bees nutz

[–] Sabre363 6 points 11 months ago

She can put bees in my office wink wink

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Later that very same year, on International Bring a Shit-Ton of Bees to Work Day

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&si=T9Ri-aaA7KWYS5a3

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

https://piped.video/hBZmQdFbVcY?si=U3z1f4hEkjl4uwJk

Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

But yeah we probably can't stop her.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Are they the ones in charge of the British clothing chain?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

No, but their weapon is strong against Shadow Man (kinda useless in every other situation, though.)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Pickle status update: buoyant

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

RTO is getting weird

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I think it's an offer