The Onion and other satire w/ layers

Donald Trump says he has “a zero tolerance policy for violence aimed at law enforcement officers trying to do their jobs” unless it is to overthrow a democratically-elected Government after an election he lost.

Trump said anyone who attempted to break public property would face the full force of the law, or be pardoned, depending on whether it helped him get elected or not. “These criminals will be arrested and swiftly brought to justice, or lauded as heroes, depending on who you’re talking about,” a White House statement said. [...]