Social rules are made up by neurotypicals. I never signed a contract to be governed by them.
this post was submitted on 31 May 2025
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Ha! Good point
I may be neuro typical, who knows, and certainly introverted. There are so many annoying social rules, it's tiring. Also each social group has variations on it.
What do you do for work?
I never signed a contract to be born, or to die of old age. We don't always get to approve of the circumstances of life.
I have a coworker who always chooses me if she needs help or has to work with someone. I asked her why, hoping it wasn't a romantic reason. She said because I don't do a lot of small talk, I listen to her info dumps without cutting her off, unless it's questions to clarify, and I don't talk just to fill the silence. Basically she's comfortable being herself around me.
Me with ADD:
If I get along with someone for more than 30 minutes there's gotta be something wrong somewhere.
Neurotypicals know you're autistic too, they just don't point it out because of social rules.
Had a boss mad at me once, shout/ask if I was autistic in front of the whole department.
Told him, "I was never tested, but being on the spectrum wouldn't surprise me - now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go have a chat with "
It was a children's hospital too, our area had artwork painted by autistic patients for autism awareness.
It became very clear, very quickly with why he has never been allowed to see his grandchildren. His poor kids had to put up with his shit for 18 years, I used that as a reason to go back to a previous job where I was much happier as soon as I heard a spot was open.
Yes they do.
Yeah, I am not always great at reading people, so I can almost guarantee I'd fail to detect another fellow autistic person.
It's how I've met most of my friends xD
Yes, but it doesn’t always occur to me why I find that particular person curious/interesting.
The autistic radar.
apes together strong :]
Yes, I've noticed that if I wonder whether someone is ND then they usually are. I wonder when I see a behaviour that looks... familiar. Even if it's just a picture, sometimes I can tell by the way they're posed or their expression. I asked my friend about her little cousin from a family photo once and she seemed shocked, because the family had been wondering the same thing!
Many groups of people do this in their own way. For example I would imagine a pickpocket can spot another pickpocket looking for targets by the way they are eyeing the crowd.
it would be better if they didn't
imagine two pickpocketers keep targeting each other, and realize they they keep stealing the same wallet over and over again... then fall in love
Classic action rom/com! They steal something important from [spies / mafia / drug cartel / evil billionaire], get caught trying to put it back, and spend the rest of the movie on the run as they annoy each other and fall in love.
Sounds like a remake of Mr. and Mrs. Smith
I know I'm dealing with autistic folks when social interaction makes me feel neurotypical
Seeing posts in my feed from this sub always has me feeling like: oh. Oh shit. No but. Oooooooohhhhhhhhh
This feeling is what put me on the path to discovering that I'm not just ADHD but AuADHD. It's nice to have a better understanding of why I act certain ways and being able to understand where I might get into bother with unhealthy coping strategies but, saying that it would have been nice to have the information before my 30s is a collosal understatement.
Thats exactly how it is for me. I see people stimming, getting stuck on topics or going down a rabbithole and thinj: that person sounds cool. :)
But yeah if I approach them and its easy, they're definitely npt NT.
i've never been able to pick up mannerisms from anyone.
I have the opposite problem where I do it subconsciously and automatically. I match speech patterns and body language
If I watch a show/movie with English spoken in a different accent to mine I have to consciously remember not to imitate that accent right after watching 🤦♀️
anyone else got this problem? makes me feel crazy.
Same, but I only match real people, rarely pick up from fiction, well, not too much anyway, enough to get your drift.
I credit my success in customer service, on the phone and IRL, with this trait. For example, if a customer is wired up and going 100mph, they don't want some laid back or laconic dude seeming like he doesn't share their urgency.
Funny when I catch myself with the body language. Sometimes I look around and see others doing it. Sometimes I fuck with people and watch them imitate my body language. Did it with a date one time. Thought, "I think she's actually into me! Let's see." LOL, had her crossing and uncrossing her legs, leaning forwards and back, stuff like that.
tl;dr: I think it's typical human behavior, helps us get along together.
actually yes. i do this constantly. i just don't manage to understand people through it. i just mindlessly copy.
I wonder if it's a manifestation of some innate ND trait or some kinda coping mechanism developed in response to the "jUsT aCt NoRmAL,!!1!" everyone tries to hammer into us as kids 🫠
It's called mirroring and it's a normal human behavior that starts in infancy.
what the fuck!? this is normal!?
that's actually awesome thank you for sharing this i had no fuckin idea it was a documented normal human behavior
Yep, even neurotypicals do the thing where you subconsciously copy someone's accent and they think you're mocking them. A curse of social existence.
i dont go to socialize so no