AskTransgender

I would probably recommend mass effect. It's an RPG in third person. I found playing an RPG character with voice acting was much more affirming, because it let me feel like I was the character much easier than games without voiced protagonists.

My own voice even within my own thoughts sounded masculine until I did voice training work. Reading my own character's voice was enough to take me out of the experience. Also Jennifer Hale is voice goals.

I would also recommend playing games where women are the target audience. The sims is a good example of that. Core games with female protagonists are generally not great, because they assume the audience is male and are built with that attitude. They tend to put a distance between you and the character when female. When you play uncharted, you are nathan drake, but when you play tomb raider you are not lara croft.

Personally:

• Stardew Valley
• Skyrim / Oblivion
• Unpacking
• Gone Home (admittedly this was more relevant to me as a lesbian)
• Life is Strange
• Long Dark (survivalist game, esp. relevant to my pre-transition state of mind, but also feminist themes and switched gender perspectives make this more trans-coded for me)

Stereotypically:

• Celeste is specifically a transfem game
• Fallout New Vegas is a stereotypical transfem game
• TF2 is pretty popular with transfems
• Minecraft

Also, worth mentioning Sims, I played that more when I was younger but it's a common favorite among women and girls.

What about old (and new) isometric RPGs? Those frequently involve creating a character and picking a portrait (you can often add one to a custom one to folder also to add it to the game). Those can be a bit much I suppose. Have a look at Tyranny (a newer one). It's not too long. Very well written. Lots of choice.

There's also Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing which both feature character creation, and both sound like they might fit your time schedule. Very drop in once in a while kinda games.

The Sims maybe?

Terraria features character creation and is a 2d platformer, so you always see your character! You quickly get armor which covers all of you, but you can hide or cover it with purely cosmetic items. Easy to get into. Very fun game that lets you mess around at your own pace.

Certain RPGs have a third person camera instead of first. Check out Kingdom of Amalur: Reckoning. It's not as complicated as some RPGs but it's very enjoyable.

I find the sims pretty affirming, but it is very buggy and kind of empty until you "acquire" the DLC

I really enjoyed Dragon Age the Veilguard. The character customization is great, and it has the BEST long hair options in video games. And also it's one of the first games I've noticed where your character can be canonically trans!

would you like any specific gender to be affirmed?

i recently played lost records: bloom and rage and i think it might be quite affirming to trans fem people. it's an interactive storry game (kinda like an evolution on life is strange), where you play a highschool girl who becomes friend with 3 other girls and goes on punky, witchy adventures, with a lot of focus on girlhood.

it has some scarry aspects and seems like it is going into some scarry horror sometimes, but the horror is really just in the atmosphere.

Bit of an odd suggestion, and not really one for the transmasc folk but Satisfactory's Pioneer (player character) has a more feminine body shape. You can't change the body shape except through mods and the only mod I found to swap the player model makes it a protogen.

I found it affirming to immediately have a player character that matched me pretty well without having to customize anything.

Side note for Bauldur's Gate 3: https://baldursgate3.game/mods/#/m/chubby-female-dragonborn1

It's a little old at this point, but Tiny Tina's Wonderlands is quite friendly in terms of letting you build your character with essentially any combo of gender characteristics. It's also one of the few I've seen that directly includes they/them as an option for in game pronouns. It's only he/she/they as options, but it is there.

You have control over appearance that's good enough that you can fit almost any physical appearance you want in terms of gender presentation.

And, you have options for voices that include a pitch slider. So, while the voice acting is devoutly definitely going to skew towards what is traditionally perceived as male or female, the pitch control allows you to change it towards something more neutral, or even into the range where it can be perceived as the other represented gender.

I currently have two characters that were specifically built to be gender neutral in voice and appearance, after a discussion with a family member that's NB (which is an off topic story, and this is already long), and both were successful enough that the family member copied them.

The game is oldish now though, so it might not be what you're looking for in that regard. But it is easy to find on sale, allows for totally casual play (particularly after you finish the story), and does have a small but dedicated fan base, so you wouldn't have to play alone if you don't want to

I was a teenage exocolonist is a great game that is quite affirming