FirstMajesticComet

joined 1 year ago
MODERATOR OF
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago

It means to call someone trans in denial. It's a big thing in communities like r/egg_irl and it can be quite toxic.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

I guess it can be interpreted differently by different people. Though I do feel that at least in the original communities it is posted in on Reddit and Twitter it's very likely it'll be read as invalid or a poor excuse in general, rather than them covering their own motivations. I say that because in the Reddit versions (and a tiny bit the Twitter versions as well) there is generally more of a sentiment that gender non-conformity is a "sign" or are "signs" and they generally are very dismissive of reasons like the ones given. They have a poor record of following the egg prime directive and I have in fact seen on r/traa2 people blatantly shit talking it and saying they would never follow it 😬.

So while I do get that there can be different interpretations, a generalized one (the not so great one) and a personalized one (the better one) I do recognize the communities they were originally posted to on Reddit and Twitter, and I do know which ones they tend to gravitate towards.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I think that it would be significantly better had it been framed as an internal dialogue rather than external criticism. It might still be a bit problematic if it phrases the reasons given as invalid, rather than just not what it is for them, because even though to many people it feels like they said something stupid, they weren't, those are valid, real reasons why people do it. The idea that the reasons aren't valid as opposed to being simply not the reasons for themself in their case is also not great in the same way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

RIght but see, the problem is that this does make a statement that doing certain things makes you trans, whether it's going for it or not. As I said in my response to @[email protected] the behavior shown constitutes a violation of the egg prime directive because it makes assertions about another person's gender identity. It also normalizes and to some extent encourages that behavior.

I don't disagree with you that this community is for helping trans people come to terms, but I'm still not a fan of memes that normalize reinforcement of that idea in the way that is happening in this comic. As a GNC person it feels really shitty to be told that your gender identity is wrong by other people, whether direct or subtle. It's one of the reasons for the egg prime directive in the first place.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Also the other character is committing blatant violations of the egg prime directive by deliberately questioning another person's gender identity in response to the person saying why they like doing something. This is extremely disrespectful to that person and dismisses their identity. The biggest problem is that even though this is describing something internal for the person, it is normalizing something which is disrespectful to the identities of others.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

I'm in agreement, I'm not a fan of this implication it really feels like it's just enforcing gender stereotypes for no good reason. People should be able to play whatever character they find most appealing to them, whether that be functionally, aesthetically, or even sexual attractiveness.

Seriously, video games are one of the perfect mediums, we can play them how we want and make what we want out of them. This idea enforces an extremely restrictive perspective on a medium which ultimately is much more adaptive than any other form of narrative medium. Stop trying to attribute a deeper meaning to people using the assets and code in these make believe worlds the way they see fit as opposed to the way that was indended, or the way that YOU think it SHOULD be. (that last part was directed towards OP and people who believe the message of this post.)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Cracking someone else's egg isn't great, it violates the egg prime directive. People need to discover themselves on their own. I get that they say some people are "in-denial" and aren't willing to come out but trying to force them will just make them resist harder, and make them want to do it less.
I feel like this meme must be satire in that regard, as these methods rarely work out as well as portrayed here.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

Hello I'd love to help out the community, I am currently a mod on [email protected] and I also have experience modding back on Reddit as well.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

When I was young I was very rebellious and did not follow gender stereotypes, I had long hair and I dyed the ends bright red. People (my teachers) didn't really like that and they often would tell me I must be a girl because boys don't do stuff like that. I find that kind of funny because I did a lot of terrible things that according to their sexist logic girls wouldn't do (like severing my chromebook from their enterprise enrollment (twice with two separate Chromebooks) so I could do what I wanted). Few years later I was diagnosed with an androgen deficiency and I would need to take testosterone or wouldn't continue developing properly. I didn't actually take it both because it made me feel sick and also because all the shit my teachers were saying made younger me think I was going on E and it would make me a girl. So I just didn't take it, and still haven't, that's future Riley's problem.

Years later in 2021 towards the end I learned about Agender and Isogender and those really resonated with me so I started using those but I also never really stopped identifying with male and still very often use he/him pronouns.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago

Defederation evading?

That's not a thing, people are allowed to be on multiple instances, if they weren't that would go against the free and open nature of the Fediverse don't you think?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 months ago

I think that Isogender is still different from trans in different ways, even if some trans people have similar feelings of lack of AGAB relevance, Isogender people still aren't trans because we don't feel trans acurately describes us, it's very much a self-identification type of thing, and since trans can have either very fine or very broad (up to all encompassing) definitions there can be a lot of overlap in similarities but they are still different modalities altogether.

Isogender is very rare so there aren't very many accounts of the experiences of us, I've seen a handful of people talking about it but overall I only ever saw a handful of people on Reddit talking about it, and one, maybe two other people on the fediverse who identify as Isogender or one of the other Gender modalities.

I sort of understand the motivation, though - I think the most common meaning of trans I encounter strongly implies social and medical transition (along the lines of “transexual”, meaning people who transition to live as a different gender than they were assigned at birth). Someone who has some alignment with their AGAB might struggle to feel understood if they called themselves trans, for example, and that seems like a motivation for a new term (though I think a lot of people just use non-binary, genderqueer, or gender non-conforming in a case like that).

Yeah it has to do with differences in experience and identities. Even though there has been a lot of effort to expand and broaden 'trans' it still very much implies something that doesn't resonate with a lot of these people, myself included, hence why other modalities exist.

That said, depending on the context trans may or may not have such a narrow definition. I often see it used as big tent umbrella term under which any gender non-conforming people belong, even otherwise cis-gendered and cis-sexual cross-dressers or drag performers. This is especially common among activists who rightfully are aware of the importance of political unity in fighting gender oppression and aligning disparate groups under a common banner.

I see the merit in that but at the same time I'm not really a fan of grouping people under one giant umbrella that also happens to be its own specific thing, i.e. there are trans people who are just trans, binary trans and nothing else. I think recognizing the differences in identities is just as important as the need to unify, and that's why we added the Q+ to LGBT, for all those people with sexuality and gender identities that don't necessarily align with the other 4 categories. Maybe to some this comes across as me trying to separate identities from trans, but I'm not, people can identify as trans if they feel its right for them, I just think they also should be able to not if it doesn't and have that be respected and understood.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 months ago

It does sound like you might be a femboy, not all femboys are into fem clothes but you could also be Nonbinary, there are NonBinaries who still use he/him.

 

So I dealt with a nasty person a few days ago and one of the things this person did was calling people pick-mes while accusing them of being transphobic. The problem is I have no idea what this word or phrase means. I know it isn't good but I don't really understand how it relates to someone other than somehow being connected or associated with transphobia, and also likely being insulting.

 

Decided to set up this community as well as [email protected] because I know that in the future transmedicalists might want to try setting up here. Transmedicalism is one of the most toxic forms of gatekeeping plaguing the trans community, they actively invalidate people based on "not being trans enough", they constantly attack NonBinary and Xenogender people claiming that they're "just cis and want to feel special". I've also seen them attack GNC people claiming that they're "appropriating the trans experience".

Obviously these people are very toxic and have no place in Blahaj.zone and probably the trans and queer community as a whole. That's why I have made these comms as placeholders to ensure that they can't just set up a space here.

I would be open to turning either of these communities into support communities for people to discuss being hurt by or the damaging aspects of transmedicalism. Please let me know if that seems like a good idea, if not I'm sure someone can always make a dedicated community for that purpose (I'll put a redirect there in the description if that happens).

Disclaimer, if anyone fights or posts toxic shit in the comments, (especially transmedicalists) I will just lock the thread and move on, be respectful.

4
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

I'm just wondering since some person on Mastodon said it, (almost certainly a troll due to their toxic behavior) and I was wondering what it actually means or if it's something that is just made up. I tried searching on Google and there weren't really any meaningful results, just people talking about and complaining about it.

So if anyone has any information on this it would be great if you shared it. Thanks

195
Egg_irl (lemmy.blahaj.zone)
submitted 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Meme Text:

Reminder

Being an Egg doesn't mean you'll inevitably come out as trans - it means you're taking some time to figure yourself out, regardless of the result. Trans or cis, binary or nonbinary, gender conforming or not you're always welcome here!


My commentary:

I saw this meme a while back and really liked it. I thought after the extremely turbulent events recently it would be a good idea to post this as a reminder for us all to remember what's important, and to respect each other both before and after the questioning process, regardless of how people identify afterwards.

41
nyanbinyary_irl (cdn.blahaj.zone)
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/8128267

Text: "Visualizing in the mirror the man i want t obecome"

In the mirror is an Androgynous looking cat character wearing fem clothes

 

Text: "Visualizing in the mirror the man i want t obecome"

In the mirror is an Androgynous looking cat character wearing fem clothes

 
 

A community for SFW discussion about the femboy experience. Links:

61
Trans Rights rule (discuss.tchncs.de)
 
2
submitted 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

One thing I get a lot as an Isogender is people who are confused about what it means or who think it's just trans. I'm going to break down what it means, why we are not trans, or cis for that matter, while also addressing some of the arguments brought up about us (these are arguments I and others have recieved on this).


What does it mean to be Isogender?

Isogender is a gender modality which falls outside of the cis and trans umbrellas, it exists as its own thing. Simply put Isogender is neither cis nor trans. You might be wondering how does that work exactly if cis=AGAB and trans≠AGAB? Well it's slightly different for different people but one explanation I've heard is that AGAB is Irrelevant to people who identify as Isogender.

Personally the way that cis and trans are worded or described these days isn't great in my opinion as it seems to try and remove other options outside of the two. It enforces a binary, under those strict definitions one can either be Cis or Trans with no clear path In-between or neither.


"Isogender is 'technically' trans then because it isn't cis, you're just choosing not to Identify as trans"

Nope it isn't, it is neither cis nor trans, the reason is that we identify as neither. It's based on the idea that the way we identify is valid and determines who we are. Arguing technicality when it comes to a person's identity is very invalidating, as if to say they are wrong about how they identify without directly saying they're wrong.


"Isogender doesn't exist, you're in denial about being trans bc Internalized Transphobia"

Umm... No. If it didn't exist it wouldn't have been coined and it wouldn't have multiple Wiki pages about it. People are free to identify how they feel is comfortable, an trying to argue that their identity or reasons for not identifying as trans aren't valid and that they have transphobia isn't respecting their identity, it's attempting to change their mind by telling them that it is bad or wrong to not identify as trans, or to not feel comfortable identifying as trans.


"It's important to identify as trans even if you are Non-Binary to show that transgender is more than transsexual"

Yeah... No, it's important to identify the way that feels comfortable and correct for you. Gender identities are for the person identifying, not anyone else. You should not, nor should you be expected to identify a particular way for someone else. If it feels right to identify as trans then you can, if it doesn't than you don't have to, that's like the whole point of Isogender and other gender modalities, having options outside of the dichotomy.


"Anyone without Gender Dysphoria is just Cis and wants attention"

Transmedicalism will not be tolerated here under Rule 3 and Rule 4, there is no debate here, transmedicalism is a very hostile and harmful form of gatekeeping. People's identities are Valid and should be respected, transmedicalism fights against that, so it should be treated as the form of Bigotry that it is.


Conclusion

While this may not have covered all basis I did get to touch on what Isogender is, as well as some of the misconceptions and also some of the extremely harmful arguments related to it, and hopefully addressed them so we will not see them posted here out of Ignorance.

I will leave this post up in case people would like to add anything else, or engage in constructive criticism but if there is any significant hostility or attacks the comments may be locked.

 

[IMAGE DESCRIPTION] drowning kid + skeleton Meme

In the top panel a mother and her kids are together in a swimming pool. The mother with text "egg_irl" is holding up her daughter with the text "transfems" over her. Meanwhile her son is drowning while she doesn't notice him with the text "transmascs" over him.

In the bottom Panel a skeleton is chained to a chair at the bottom of the ocean with the text "NonBinary/Genderqueer", "Genderfluid", and "Agender" over it. Each label is colored in the colors of their own Flags respectively.

[END OF IMAGE DESCRIPTION]

context: Back on the original egg_irl subreddit it was common for there to be a disproportionate amount of transfem memes versus the others and a lot of them forgot to flair as [CW: Assumes Viewer is Transfem] when needed and also a few were a bit targeting towards transmascs and masculine enbies i.e.

spoiler"get rid of your toxic, masculine mannerisms"
or
spoiler"transmascs have cute feminine faces"
. Some people even started saying Egg_irl is specifically a women's space and not a trans space in general.

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