I'd take it home and raise it as my own and name it Billy for the billion I gave up for it. I'd give it snuggles daily and be happy, knowing that no amount of money is going to solve whatever the fuck is wrong with me and the world we live in.
this post was submitted on 05 May 2025
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I'd kill it for a billion and give the money to homeless shelters or something.
yall might call me evil but greater good
and this is about as 'evil' of an act as eating meat ngl
Geraldo says meat is murder
Virtue ethics nonsense.
I shouldn't kill that mass murderer before he kills again because murder is murder and all murder is evil mmkay?
Here it goes into hypothetical terrain.
Save a ship with 50 people or the other further away with 100?
Let the truck run over someone else or over you?
So if you are given the option to steal $5 from an orphan or allow 10k people to be slaughtered and if you don’t choose it goes to 50% chance on which one happens you choose to make no choice so you don’t have to choose evil?
I think Geraldo would steal the $5 and call it a stupid analogy because that's not evil if he gives them $10 first.
Of course, the funny thing about the quote is that it's from a game that forces you to choose between evils constantly with not much in the way of creative problem solving beyond making sure you investigate beforehand.
Crushing that poor animal would be by far the least evil way anyone has ever obtained a billion dollars.
An easy life has never been achieved for free. The rich sacrifice their humanity and pay with others' suffering.
I'd say Notch made a billion quite cruelty free
Well, he then became a Nazi, so idk
But the billion is cruelty free
Where did the billion come from?
Oh? And where did their money come from?
I see... And tell me more about this system of "capital" and how it functions.
...
...
Existence is suffering or something
Who is Notch and is it something a normal person should know about? Never sure if it is age/hobby related or that I actually have ignored something I shouldn't have missed.
He made Minecraft and got rich off it. Then he revealed himself to be a terrible human being.
Ah thanks, I'll chalk that up to never paying attention to names. It's common for me to never remember actors/directors/animators/producers etc.
To be fair, he hasn't been involved with MC for over ten years now. Depending on how old you are, you may not have touched it until after he was gone. For me, I almost exclusively played it before MS purchased it.
I'm the opposite, I am 35, but hadn't played Minecraft until about 5 years ago. My partner plays it on Xbox so I've jumped in couch multiplayer multiple times. She usually has Game pass, so I never ask anything about who owns anything. If I sit down to play something once every couple months if call it lucky for me. We usually result to Streamio I set up with one of those $15/180 day subscriptions. Movies are easier to be on the same page for us. We want to play together but when she wants to go roaming I'm still wanting to build a giant watermelon farm so I never have to worry about. Dying from starvation/health loss.
Also the answer to if you have to many dodos while playing couch co-op in ARK offline, the answer is always no. I'd rather than 50 dodos wandering around my hut so I don't feel lonely lol (never wanted to play online)
I do eat meat, yes.
Edit: Meaning I'm not going to pretend that an offer like that would not sway me. I'll be unhappy about it, cry and have a bad conscience for a very long time until I successfully rationalize it. But seeing as I do eat meat, I feel it would be a lie to pretend that I'm not capable of rationalizing killing an animal for my own indulgence. And uncoupling myself and everyone I love from the horrors of capitalism by simply elevating them above... that's quite a strong incentive. I could even spend a billion dollars on environmental causes, saving millions of bunnies and still have enough left to make everyone I love a multi-millionaire.
I don't actually know where my price is... would I do it for 1000 Euros? No, definitely not. For a million? Likely yes... somewhere between those numbers is the price for my conscience. I hope I never find out where exactly, it's a ghastly thing to know about oneself.
I'm vegan* and I'd do it for 1000€, if that money came out of the pocket of a meat producer. Just numbers-wise, that would probably already be a net-benefit, and I don't really regard my own conscience highly enough to make it sway that price all that much.
Cranial dislocation and instantaneous crushing of the head are some of the most pain-free deaths too, much better than the CO² gassing which would be the default for a bunny this size.
What always fascinates me about dilemmas like this is the cuteness of the animal is such a big factor for people. Would the average answer be the same if it was rat, a fish, a chick or a tiny baby kangaroo? I think it's a nice mental exercise to think about it! My school had a Philosophy class for all the students who didn't go to Religion class, and we basically just solved dilemmas like this all day. It was really beneficial for building your own moral framework and getting comfortable in navigating it.
(* with the relevant exception that I have a snake, so my freezer is full of dead rodents that I'm thoroughly desensitized to)
The cuteness of the creature being a factor is something I absolutely understand. Although I'm entirely in love with arthropods and reptiles and all those creepy crawlers, I would still feel worse about the bunny.
It's an instinctual thing, as mammals we're genetically programmed to love baby mammals and protect them. We usually empathize more with them and some of us even tremble with good feelings when watching or touching them. It is inherently rewarding to pet them and to show them kindness. So it's no wonder we can easily crush something like a roach or a fish. It's harder with chicks and even harder with rats or baby kangaroos since they check more and more of the boxes activating that instinct.
Instincts just that though, we are completely able to ignore it, desensitize or rationalize. Luckily we're (mostly) ruled by our minds and not our instincts.
I'd rather kill the person who's trying to manipulate and take the money from them. Killing the cruel would be a choice pastime, and there would be no black spot of guilt because the life I took was a corrupted human
An answer like this is
a) not a yes or no, and thus usually not allowed in such dilemmas. That's also why "I just tap it lightly on the head" is not a real answer. There is no valid "outside the box" answer for dilemmas. Your valid answer seems to be "no", since you would not kill that animal, the rest of your answer is just ... unimportant to the question asked.
b) disregarding that you're going to jail for murder and aggravated robbery. You have just taken your own life (to jail)
1.5 Billion? For 1.5 Billion I’d waffle stomp my neighbor and slide him underneath my police department’s door.
Your neighbor, sure. A cute innocent animal! Not killing it unless it's delicious.
But isn't it basically bunny veal anyway?
Yeah but now it’s been stomped on. If a restaurant served me veal and told me they stomped on it in the parking lot, I’d send it back.
Oh, how fancy. Look at the queen of England here, too good to eat parking lot veal.
Fuck the money. Save the bunny.
You could open a bunny sanctuary with that money and save thousands of future bunnies.
If the AI overlord wanted me to, I'd do it for a magical pedicure kit and a toe ring of the Splatter Skunk."Time to pay the daddy tax," as Princess Donut said
New Achievement! Smushed for Daddy.