They could have just bought a Porsche Taycan with the roof tent with that Cubertruck money.
this post was submitted on 03 May 2025
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As a former boy scout, my least favorite kind of person to go camping with is anyone who never bothered to figure out how any of their gear works. They inevitably show up in the dark and gripe about stuff like it's in Swedish Ikea directions format, start off the first day grumpy as hell cause they froze their asses off on the hard ground and didn't get any sleep. What's worse is this turns them against the prospect of ever visiting the outdoors again and they leave the gear to rot in their garage instead of donating it to someone more responsible and with a more enthusiastic joie de vivre than them, namely small, poor children.
Similar experiences with me except army.
Load all their Gucci kit into a ruck. March 12km out to the middle of bumfuck nowhere huffing and puffing cause your shit weighs 80lbs before they gave you ammo, water and rations. Now you're wearing battle rattle and hiking up Mount Fuckyou carrying a load of bullshit.
Get to the bivouac, drop your shit and you didn't bother to figure out how your new inflatable mattress works instead of a foam hobo-pad the army issues you... Oh and you forgot to pack your bivvie bag and the ground is wet so you're trying to suck and fuck your way into someone's spare kit... Oh and you didn't bring a headlamp for sentry duty and now I gotta explain the the Sarge why my 2IC is such a useless bag of milk and needs to see a medic cause they cooked their lower back lugging their kitchen sink up a mountain for a three day mission.
Motherfucker, if you listened to me and packed the bare essentials and threw your spare kit in the truck you wouldn't be having this problem. Next time, make sure your goddamn flashlight has batteries and no, you can't use my battery pack to charge your cellphone. If my phone dies what am I gonna look at while baking in the 40°C blue rocket? The same childish graffiti of cocks? Brother, I drew those cocks. I don't need to look at them.
Might I add: My ass is 230lbs and I ain't got a gat dang problem lugging my shit up there. Yet these young dumb lads think they're the Morningstar's gift to the corps and yet here they are crying to me that their balls are so chafed they're bleeding.
Both saddened and relieved I never attained this level of ...militariness(?)
The language alone is super kickass and I would have had a lot of fun bustin chops. I was out of there before I was 15 so it wasn't to be.
On the other hand, damn, why was this even allowed to be an option? I guess it's trial by fire but it seems like military issued gear should be the only gear allowable in that situation and that they would have gone through extensive drilling till they got proficient before getting into potential life-risking conditions. Honestly, looking back, it wasn't much different for our first backpacking trips. We were still using terrible external-framed packs. My mom insisted on getting the crappiest discount ghetto-ass pack for me and I was in a ton of pain the whole time. Parents weren't super into looking out for us back in those days. Years later, I got myself a decent internal-framed pack and the extreme upgrade made me want to go kick them all in the dicks. It didn't cost one penny more, either. Just somewhat slightly thoughtful.
Haha, either way, I sure do love the way you described it. Thanks for posting.
Often, I think of this line from Deadwood when I read a description I really like. It's not about the lying, of course. It's about the turns of phrase and the storytelling. Thanks again.
God dammit Swearengen, I don't trust you as far as I can throw ya...but I enjoy the way you lie.
https://www.reddit.com/r/deadwood/comments/1e51dyv/daily_deadwood_quote_337/ldj8zhb/
Hey I feel you. I'm both saddened and relieved to have attained this level of militariness. The environment makes the person.
A big part of why this kind of stuff flies that often, soldiers look for little comforts. We want a nice chair to sit in or a comfier hole to lie in at the end of the day. You learn through trial and error what you do and don't need. Our kit is often insufficient, lowest bidder type stuff that it ends up just not serving the purpose it's designed to do.
Part of it is also leading a horse to water but not being able to make it drink. I can tell a subordinate they won't need their winter jacket for October but hey, what if they get cold? Ultimately, newer soldiers end up over packing and over burdening their section until they learn how to pack. I prioritise undergarments, socks and water. Trying to leave as much room for mission essential kit over comfort. But I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I've rucked three days across Sandy plains with a 12 pack in my bag so we could have some morale at the end of it. While other times I'm wet because I didn't want to pack the extra 1lb for rain pants.
A lot of the drilling you receive is about working as a team, how to move fast or silent, complete the mission under arduous circumstances. How you decide to get there is usually a personal decision. Your leaders are still responsible for your overall well-being but, like I said earlier. You can lead a horse to water.
Funny you mentioned internal frame rucksacks... Our current bags are internal frame, really spacious and easy to pack but they SUCK when you're wearing your armour, and ammo and everything else. They just don't fit right and hurt more than they help. They also promote what I talked about before which is over packing and without any kit in them weigh 15lbs already. The older rucks were external frame, smaller, lighter and fit less kit. They had their merits.
Quality and fit definitely help with your comfort when you've only got two feet and a heartbeat.
IKEA instructions are clear, concise, and complete. A better comparison would be Chinese flatpack trash from Wayfair with poorly photocopied diagrams, inscrutable Engrish, and missing steps.
Very precise. I do technical drawings for fabricators and Ikea is the sort of gold standard, for exploded assemblies views anyhow. What I was getting at was another layer of insufferability which is the people that complain about instructions which can't be any more clear, just because they are bellyachers.
I use IKEA directions as a barometer for basic problem solving skills. They're designed to use universal symbols and no wording so anyone can follow them. If you can't follow those directions, well... It's not the instructions that are the problem.
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I learned to cherish IKEA instructions after my first and last experience with those.
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People who don't ever use their toys prior to executing the camping trip are probably amateurs in more ways than just camping.
If you can't figure out how to build a tent (in the dark or not), camping clearly is not for you, or anything that requires the mental capability of an adult for that matter. That shit really is not hard.
Seriously. I don't think I've ever encountered anything more complex than: extendo poles make X, tent clips go on X, stake into ground.
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As a former scout myself, I am perfectly fine with just a sleeping bag on the ground unless it is likely to precipitate in any way. But I could also build a simple shelter using materials from around the area if I really had to.
In North Ontario, the black flies want to know your next campsite location.
I got a really nice bivvie bag with a single tent pole and an integral bug net. It has been fantastic when the deer flies wanna know what your eyelids taste like.
Could you build a waterproof shelter using found materials?
Rope and plastic sheeting would be a minimum requirement for me.
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The funniest part about this is that the Aztec is usually considered "ugly".
But when you compare it to a cybertruck... It looks like a masterpiece.
No joke, it's basically a vehicle to rest your eyes upon in such context.
I wonder if dude actually made it home, as those things aren't designed to leave pavement.
I hear he hit a 1-meter patch of ice and the cybertruck spontaneously combusted.
You jest, but their warranty is literally invalid off pavement.
As ugly as the Aztek is, it's gorgeous next to that stainless steel doorstop.
TIL: the cybertruck has a tent. WHY!
I think it's an accessory you can buy. The quality seems to be on par with the rest of the thing.
It was advertised as a hard top too. They made it a basic ass tent that doesn't even work.
I recently found out that this is a surprisingly common option for new cars.
Its having “pc beeper comes with the case and not the motherboard” vibes to me. Something legacy.
The Aztec wasn’t ugly in the right configuration and even if it was ugly, it was at least practical and affordable
You can't call the Aztec ugly when You compare it to the ugliest car in history. Except the Fiat Multipla of course.
The good thing about an ugly car is you don't see it when you sit inside.
From what I saw, the cybertruck is also ugly on the inside.
I unironically like the Aztec. Function over form.
I miss my old Pontiac Aztec, I had this tent and inflatable mattress. This cars truck space was huge!!
Honestly it was the ugliest car, but also the best car.
Center consoles air conditioning "nipples" were the best.
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Well the Cybertruck ist asstech in it's own way.
I am not into camping so I'm not sure, but isn't the point to get away from density/people/etc? There's so many cars there. Am I missing something (aside from an appreciation for nature up close)?
It mentions a bike ride the next day, so it's probably just something that's out in the middle of nowhere and starts pretty early. They'll often have an area for participants to camp for the night instead of driving out in the early morning.
depressingly it's very very popular (at least here in sweden) to go """"camping"""" at what is basically trailer parks but for house cars (not literal mobile homes) where you stay a couple of nights at a time at most.
It just feels like the typical suburban mindset really.
In the US those are "RV Parks". They're pretty good if you you're traveling with kids and want to give them the opportunity to meet other kids and play with whatever amenities the park has. Camping in a state or national park is better if you want to more space and a more natural experience. Areas in some nattional forests are available to camp in for free as long as you don't stay in the same place for more than a week and clean up after yourself.
I never understood it. Just go sleep in the RV in your driveway, why drive it a few hours to pay to park in someone else's multi-car driveway?
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We have this shit in Canada, too. Millions of square kilometers of wilderness, and people camp on top of each other and run their generators for the air conditioning and TV in their $250,000 RV they use 2 weekends out of the year.
Fucking weirdos.
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Car camping is its own thing with its own distinct culture from backpackers who hike out into the wilderness to camp.
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An epic in six tweets.
a $3000 car tent? there is no fucking way.
Rooftop tents quite comfortably hit that figure - but this is probably outclassed by a couple of pool noodles and a tarp.
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Probably first time doing it and he didn’t even try at home before going camping. When those foldable kayaks started popping out on Amazon, I saw a couple arriving with two at a lake. They spent like 20 minutes trying to assemble them and ended up giving up.
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Here's a shortish video showing setup.. Man it looks like a fiddly process.
That looks insane. It's held up by clamping onto the metal flashing of the door, instead of to the frame, the flashing held on by fucking glue. I also love how they show the electric plugs, but you have to use a bicycle pump to inflate.
LOL, all that electricity in the "truck" and they give you a manual bike pump to inflate the damn thing‽
Indeed it looks really complex, half way through the video I was already lost.
It's crazy not just that you have to manually pump it yourself, but why does it even have a "camping program" that you have to engage? It does nothing other than revealing the tray with the tent gear. There's so many steps involved, why did they think that was the one that required automating?
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