The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/IllFuel53 on 2025-04-16 18:42:48.
EDIT TO ADD: I found out he can adjust the dates up until May 15, and he won't admit to it (I have a copy of his girlfriend's parenting plan). In addition, I would like to clarify the only time I need to give up is for a work trip that is out of my control. My personal trip is on my non-parenting time, but I would have to cancel it to see my daughter for a few extra days before I don't see her for almost 2 weeks (except for 1 day). I appreciate all of the insights, but I don't know if I'm an asshole because I want to protect my parenting time with my daughter knowing I have a busy few weeks and travel required.
My ex reached out asking to take our daughter on a vacation, unsure of where to go and unsure of the exact travel dates, but probably Florida June 20-26. He will have her starting on June 18 due to his normal parenting schedule. I have a planned personal trip starting on June 18, and then have a work trip starting on June 28. Because of his request for me to give up the 24 & 25 to take her on this trip, and my work trip requires me to give up 3.5 days as well, I will only see her for 1-2 days in a span of 2.5 weeks.
In addition, or parenting agreement states that vacation requests cannot exceed 7 days, including any regular parenting time. Which he would be in violation of (6/18-6/26). And I can't take her the days before his trip, because I made personal plans to be out of town and can't change the dates (6/18-6/21). In addition, his initial request didn't point this out, so he didn't even read the agreement to make sure his request was compliant when he asked.
I told him I want to be flexible, but I can't and I don't want to go so long without seeing my daughter. He claims his dates are "locked in" and can't be moved. Which really means, his girlfriend agreed on the dates with her ex-husband (they don't seem to get along at all), but he didn't communicate anything to me until after they were finalized.
I did send the email thread to my lawyer, we have plans to go to mediation next month because he wants his parenting schedule to match his girlfriend's, and I'm not comfortable with that - also, my daughter sleeps on an air mattress at her house and has for months, which my ex won't do anything about it until they move in later this summer. But that's a side issue to this one....
I told him I won't give him the days due to being in violation of our agreement and my concern about not seeing my daughter enough within the timeframe. Am I being an asshole about this?