The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/aguafresca_zip on 2025-04-16 13:07:03.
The process of applying to scholarships has been very stressful. I’m a senior in high school and I’m not necessarily an “impressive” student, I have pretty good stats, but not anything amazing.
My friend, on the other hand, has been able to get multiple full ride scholarships and grants due to her financial status.
A couple weeks ago, I found out I won two scholarships that totaled out to be $3000. I was pretty excited about this, since I hadn’t heard back from any other scholarships that I had applied to previously, so I was getting pretty hopeless about being able to pay for college (my FAFSA SAI was a 13800 so im not receiving any financial aid from the government nor any college I got into, even though my parents can’t afford to help me pay for college). I told my friend about my scholarships, and she didn’t congratulate me once, the only thing she said was “That’s not bad. I’m lucky I don’t have to pay for college. In fact, I’m getting reimbursed for my tuition.”
I guess that comment threw me off guard a little? I’m obviously very happy that she doesn’t have to worry about the cost of college— and I have told her that many times in the past— but I just felt as if that wasn’t the best moment to bring it up. I know that just because I’m not getting full rides to college like she is doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t be able to celebrate her success but maybe it felt dismissive in that moment. I ended up just saying something like “Oh, nice” or “Good job!”
Yesterday, the results for a scholarship that many incoming freshmen get came out, and I knew that I probably wasn’t getting it, since the scholarship is heavily based off of financial need. My friend and I opened up our decisions together, and just as I expected, I didn’t get it. My friend, though, did. Right in that moment, I felt pretty disappointed that I didn’t get the scholarship, even though I saw it coming. I said “Congrats!! I’m jealous” because honestly, yes I’m pretty jealous of all the financial aid she’s receiving, but my tone + facial expressions definitely didn’t match the happiness I was trying to convey.
I guess she didn’t take this the way I intended, she was acting off and barely talked to. Later on, she told me that she didn’t think it was fair for me to be mad at her for being poor. This made me pretty angry since I was never mad at her for anything. Maybe I shouldn’t have said I was jealous of her, even though I meant it in the best way possible. I’m definitely not jealous of her financial situation, but I’m also very definitely jealous of the financial aid she’s receiving.
So again, the fact that she was accusing me of “being mad at her because she was poor” really did make me mad, since all the times she tells me about what scholarships she got, I always make sure to congratulate her, even when she’s dismissing my own accomplishments. I feel like it’s normal to be disappointed and jealous all at once.
AITAH for feeling that way?