The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Character-Wasabi4195 on 2025-04-06 14:14:33.
I (45 female) recently was eating dinner with a good friend and former neighbor who moved away 6 months ago. We had been there for approximately 20-25 minutes. We were talking and laughing and being pretty quiet for a noisy restaurant since we both do a kind of “silent laugh” - one of the things we have in common. We were just served when the man (older guy about 65 maybe) sitting at the table next to us had finished his meal. He was waiting for his check and looking at his cell phone. When all of the sudden, he started making sucking noises (like my grandparents used to, to clean their teeth) and then he snorted. And it wasn’t just one snort, it was multiple and deep each time. It literally echoed off the walls. Now the first time, I let it go and didn’t say anything but had to fight gagging. I happen to have an extremely sensitive gag reflex. And sounds like that can get me started. Meaning up to starting to vomit. Not only that if I make my way to the bathroom it is like my brain says “ok let loose” and I always loose it. So I stopped talking, turned my head and did breathing exercises to try to not go down that rabbit hole. I just got “cleared” and we were chatting and eating again when he did it again. 🤢 So again the same process. But this time I gave him a “look”. Because I am not his mom and he is old enough to know manners (whether he knows them or not… well obviously not). He clearly didn’t care or didn’t understand why I gave him an angry grin. 😠 Not too long after that he did it again! And if it happened a 4th time I would not make it to the bathroom. And not only that he was ruining my meal. So after getting myself through plugging my ears and humming I asked him to please stop snorting.
He looked at me and said, “mind your own business little lady. I am enjoying my meal like everyone else here.” I replied with, “well if you do it again I will puke and make sure I do it on you.” He looked really angry and I instantly felt like a teenager being a brat for that reply. I almost said sorry when he got his check. He signed it and left. I had to take breaks because I had waves of feeling like I was going to start gagging. I did make it through but almost lost it when I got outside on the walk to my car. I was raised to be polite despite the situation and I normally am but I almost ruined dinner for everyone had I not been able to calm that reflex. That “little lady” comment had me seeing red! Needless to say, not my most mature moment. AITA for chastising him? Or should I have tried to make it to the bathroom knowing I wouldn’t have made it?
Edit:
-
I am aware of misophonia. The volume of these snorts was quite literally reverberating off the walls, and my friend agreed it was way over the top and offensive for a restaurant. So it’s not just me, and not misophonia. The teeth sucking.. was more in line with an annoying noise.
-
The request was calm and though I didn’t quote it, I was calm and polite and asked please.
-
Several have posted “he could have health issues” to which if he had done it while he was eating, I would have just paid for my drinks and left! Some people have “ticks” that they can’t help like clicking or Tourette’s. This was not a “tick”. It was after he was done eating and seemed to be part of a “post meal ritual” that I truly believe someone has point out to him in the past given his reply.
-
I see that I was wrong in threatening to puke on him. I was so irritated about the “little lady” comment. 🥺. Again not my finest moment. But I shouldn’t have to leave because of someone else being so offensive and lacking etiquette that their actions are literally reverberating through the room.
-
I didn’t know if he had ordered dessert… so I didn’t know how long we all had to listen to this cacophony, when I asked him. He hadn’t received the check yet.
-
My gag reflex, though sensitive, has NEVER been challenged like this in a restaurant. Never once. So it’s not so sensitive that I shouldn’t expose myself to the possibility of noises in public. I do have methods to calm it. This was excessive and in all my life has never happened like this.