The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/SharkInHumanSkin on 2025-04-06 10:51:56.
Background: To say my ex and I are contentious would be an understatement. He sends me slews of insults and I’ve taken to using chatgpt to scrub my messages of anything he can use to pick a fight. We have a 12 year old together. Months ago I let him know 12yo had a competition this weekend because I had to trade weekends for it. I am also the coach. Funny side story my child tried out for my team without me knowing until I showed up. The last time he talked to me about this competition he said “you just put 12yo on your team because you’re trying to compensate for being a shit mom.” So yeah contention.
On to the story:
Comp is this weekend and last month it was moved to Exs town 4 hours away from us. We take the bus up, stay in a hotel for 2 nights and head back Sunday.
Against my better judgement I invited my ex to the competition despite the fact he was clear about how he feels. He wasn’t able to come because I didn’t give him enough notice but he didn’t insult me he just asked me to invite him earlier next time. I apologized because I thought that was fair. I could have told him earlier that the location had changed. But honestly I avoid talking to him as much as possible.
Yesterday he asked if he could meet us at the hotel. I explained that we are really only in the hotel to sleep and we’d be leaving at 8 am. I again apologized for the short notice and said I’d do better next time.
He asked for our itinerary and I sent sundays travel schedule. 7am breakfast at the hotel. 8am we leave. There are some bathroom breaks on the schedule and a stop for lunch 2+hours away b it nothing that allows visiting.
His response was to ask me why I didn’t share my itinerary with him when I invited him on Wednesday.
I apologized again and said that since he said he couldn’t see 12yo this weekend I assumed it wasn’t relevant and since there is t really any extra time, I didn’t think it would matter. I left off that it’s my weekend and I’m not obligated to invite him and that he sees child regularly so it’s not like he can’t see 12yo until summer or something. Plus I’m trying to extend the olive branch here but to say he’s hostile would be an understatement.
He pushed again asking why I hadn’t shared it. I simply apologized again because I’d already answered.
“I expect you Do better next time.” Is what he said to me.
I’m … I don’t know. Kind of feeling annoyed at how he’s acting entitled to my time after being so unbelievably rude to me (calling me a “shit mom” for involving child on my team) but also I could have shared it with him I guess. I just don’t see why I would. Besides the competition itself there’s not really any time in the schedule that isn’t spent with the team.
Even my own husband who traveled down to watch has seen me for a total of 30 minutes during the competition.
So AITA? Should I have shared the itinerary on Wednesday?