The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/AskFormal6727 on 2025-04-04 09:56:06.
I (19f) have been friends with 3 girls, Mary (19f), Leah (20f) and Jane (20f), for about a year and a half. We met in college and got along really well, and I consider them to be some of my closest friends.
That being said, we are pretty different. They are a lot more "wild" than I am (their words, not mine). I am a rather calm, cautious person, and don't really enjoy getting drunk, while they are self-proclaimed party animals. I do go out and drink, but always in a reasonable way, whereas they more often than not end up completely drunk. That of course never stopped us from being friends and I still go out to bars with them and have a great time, we just have fun differently.
It was never an issue until recently. Three weeks ago, we went out as we normally do, but things went pretty bad. They all got extremely drunk, to the point where Jane and Mary passed out and Leah left the party without telling anyone and we found her asleep in a random corner 5 minutes away from the bar we were at, and she had thrown up on herself. Since I never get too drunk, it's sort of an unspoken rule that I'm there to take care of them if they drink too much, but normally that just meant holding their hair while they threw up in toilets, or calling a cab for them.
So I had a really stressful time, having two friends that I needed to take care of and another one that I had to look for for over 30 minutes, and it completely ruined my night, when I was supposed to have fun and let go of my stress. The next day I told them that it was irresponsible of them to let me deal with it and to just expect that I'd take care of them, and that it couldn't happen again. I told them that I'd only go out with them if they were careful and reasonable. They all apologized and that was it.
But a week ago they asked me to go out again, so I made them promise that it wouldn't end up in the same way. Well, it did. Jane left with a random guy without saying anything and Leah was so drunk that we had to carry her from the cab to her house. Mary wasn't too drunk but still, it was super stressful again and I had to take care of them. The next day I got angry at them because they had promised it wouldn't happen again, and told them that from now on I wouldn't be going out with them anymore.
Yesterday they asked me to come to a party with them and I said no, and said that I had plans to go out with other friends. They got really upset and said that I was unfair, especially since I was still going out with other people. I explained that those people never did the same things they did which was why I was comfortable going out with them. They're now saying that I'm not a good friend for not wanting to help them and that I'm being too uptight. I know that I might be "not fun" for this but also it's really not a fun time for me anymore and if I go out it's to have fun not to look after three passed out drunk people... But I really don't want this to ruin our friendship. I don't know what to do.