The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Obvious-Acadia-1218 on 2025-04-04 05:48:51.
I'm going to get judgement for part of the story so throwaway.
I (40F) have a stepdaughter (16F) from my husband's previous marriage. The story is that my husband cheated on his wife with me and left her to be with me. That was 12 years ago, and now we're still married. My stepdaughter and I have always had a surprisingly decent relationship considering the past. My stepdaughter spent 5 days out of the week at home with my husband and me. As a result, I would drive her to school, pack her lunch and help her with homework. I did this hoping she wouldn't hate me, and it worked. I am physically unable to have kids, so having a good relationship with my stepdaughter filled at least part of the void for me. Nonetheless I do understand she isn't my daughter. She came up with various nicknames for me throughout the years, mostly short versions of my actual names. She started calling me "ma" recently. Her explanation for doing so was to show me a little more respect. I'm ok with it. I know she still calls her actual mother "mom." But just because I was ok with it didn't mean her mom was though. When she heard my stepdaughter call me ma I could easily tell it ticked her off. She told my stepdaughter to not call me that and told me I should lecture my stepdaughter that I'm not her mother. I told her I don't really care what she calls me, since I don't control my stepdaughter. She was ticked off by this too but didn't say anything.
I'd like to know if this interaction specifically makes me an asshole. I know the past was wrong but I genuinely do not see an issue with my stepdaughter choosing this nickname for me.