this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/Fallenblacknail on 2025-04-04 05:07:50.

My (16f) parents divorced when I was 12. Their marriage was rocky for years, so I wasn't surprised, but I was devastated about my dad moving out. Almost immediately, I was introduced to my mom's boyfriend. I already knew about him when I accidentally saw a gross text he sent my mom. I did not like him, and I was hesitant to even try to get along, even though ig he was nice enough. I know he was seeing my mom before she was divorced, and my mom talked to me about that, saying that by the point the marriage was already over. However, when I saw the text, from my perspective, my parents were still together and would be together.

As the years have passed, I hate him a little more every time I see him. He's so childish, and insults my sister (24f)(even if he doesn't seem to think he does). When I was still young, my mom asked if she wanted me to break up with him, since I wasn't taking things well and was very bad mentally, but I said no because I love her and wanted her to be happy, even though I hated her dating someone so soon. I know he's done a lot for me, but I hate him, and I can't help it.

I spend weekends with my dad, but whenever I spend them with my mom, she always invites him, and then it always becomes about what he wants to do. They also used to talk badly about my dad, who I know wasn't the best husband, but he was still my dad, and at that time I was a kid, which didn't help things. We disagree on most things, especially politically, which I know is stupid but still.

My mom is always really upset that I don't get along with him, and says she wishes I loved her enough to like him. I say that just because I don't like him doesn't mean I don't like how he's good for her. But I can't bring myself to like him at all, or appreciate him. Especially now that they're planning on moving in together once I graduate. I just know that I won't want to visit her when I'm in college, because he will always be around. We recently had another arguement about me being disrespectful, which I will admit, I can be very rude (ex: ignoring him purposely when he says hi/bye, having bad tone, talking back).

I don't feel bad about not liking him, because there's really nothing that will ever change that, but I do feel bad that it distresses my mom so much. So, aita?

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