The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/No_Piece8665 on 2025-04-03 23:45:47.
I (40f) am a SAHM, though I work part-time from home. My husband (43M) works from home. We have a great relationship, but I admit I do get frustrated that he doesn't help more around the house and with the kids (8, 6, 4).
My husband can't aim to save his life. This is a long-standing issue and when we first starting living together (and I worked full-time) cleaning the bathroom was his chore because it drives me crazy. However, bathroom duty fell to me after we had kids. This is fine, but over the last 4 months he's been on a new medicine for his diabetes - the perineum infection side-effect one. Turns out, the reason it can cause perineum infections is it makes you urinate sugar.
It is so gross. Like, the texture of dried milk in a cereal bowl. I have to SCRUB to get it off. And he can't aim so it's not just the toilet, but the walls, the floor, and the cabinet. So now a task that used to take 30 minutes twice a week takes an hour to an hour three times a week (because sugar molds quickly).
I've put cleaning wipes in every bathroom and asked him to do a quick wipe down each time he goes, but he would forget frequently and I didn't notice a discernable difference. I asked him to a quick wipe down of the 2 main bathrooms each night to try to mitigate the mess. But he was always too tired or forgot. Today, I told him he needs to take over cleaning the 2 bathrooms he uses the most (just the toilets and surrounding area). I made a point to be calm about it, but explained that cleaning the bathroom makes me resent him because the changes in his medication and his inability to regularly clean up after himself have made the chore extremely onerous for me and he has been unable to complete the tasks that would ease the burden on me.
He's angry, claiming that I'm holding things he can't control (the change in meds, his struggles aiming, his ADHD making him forget to wipe things down) against him and that I'm trying to get out of a chore I dislike. I mean, I can't say I LIKE cleaning toilets, but it really wasn't an issue until his meds changed. The new med works great, so I don't want him to get off of it. However, since the majority of my time cleaning the bathroom is cleaning HIS mess, I feel like this responsibility should fall to him. AITA?
TLDR: Husband's diabetes meds changed, so now he urinates sugar. He can't aim, so it makes a giant mess and I think he should clean it up.