The original post: /r/amitheasshole by /u/CatchWeak3224 on 2025-04-03 08:56:53.
I (35F) am very low contact with my younger sister (28F), the Golden Child.
She got married legally last year in a destination wedding + holiday (beach destination in our state) paid for by our parents. I paid my own way; parents paid for sister + BIL's flights, accommodation, sister's dress and entire wedding. I delayed the start of my new job to go, and was unpaid during this trip.
I didn't enjoy it but endured because my parents demanded I attend. I didn't expect to be invited, to be honest, and doubt I would have been had my parents not been holding the money bag.
To clarify, I have no ill will towards my sister. She's found a good man and I'm happy for her. I gave the happy couple a generous cash wedding gift. As far as I'm concerned, I've discharged my duty as her sister.
In the meantime, she's had her husband convert to our family's religion and now plans to have a religious wedding overseas in our family's country of origin.
He converted locally. They have a religious community they're part of locally. They've lived together for 4 years and co-own an apartment. They could have had one wedding, religious and legal combined; there was no rush regarding the timing of the legal wedding. In my view, this is just a way for them to get yet another holiday out of my parents.
The financial choices my parents make are their own and none of my business. I don't need their money, and don't make any claim to it.
That being said, I don't feel obligated to spend my money taking time off work and travelling overseas to attend my sister and BIL's second wedding/holiday.
When I thought about it, I realised I would rather be at work; I enjoy being at work more than time in my sister's company.
My mother is trying to emotionally blackmail me into going with the classic "...what will the family think?!"
I don't care what the family will think. If I'm taking time off work, and spending money, I want it to be on something I want to do and will enjoy. I've already discharged my duty in attending her wedding. So, AITA?