The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Fun-Needleworker9590 on 2025-03-27 12:54:26.
My wife (32f) is very close to my (33m) family. We were childhood best friends, high school sweethearts and we've been together for 18 years now. They've known her all that time and my mom adores her and they're incredibly close. Actually my mom has a good relationship with all but one of her children's partners.
My younger brother's "Aidan" (29m) wife (27f) is the exception. Aidan married Gem last year. They dated for a couple of years before that. At first we all got along pretty good with Gem but she suddenly started being a dick to my wife. It started with very subtle comments that my wife said were nothing and I was just overreacting. While others would joke that my wife was mom's favorite kid, Gem would sound bitter and jealous about it. Then her comments turned mean about it. The jokes about it, which were never very frequent, stopped after that but Gem would bring it up anyway. Then it was comments about exhausting it must be for my wife to have so many people who want her time and attention. Those were sparked by my siblings partners also getting along with my wife, not to mention my mom and wife hanging out and then my wife and I have kids together. I asked Gem what her problem was, spoke to Aidan 1:1 as well and others spoke up in defense of my wife.
Gem's biggest issue has always appeared to be my mom and my wife being close. I don't know why it drives her crazy but it does.
Now Aidan's frustrated because Gem isn't included the way my wife and the other partners are. The fact mom will do days with her daughters in-law and Gem isn't invited. Or that my wife will do girls stuff with the women in our family but she doesn't invite Gem because eventually she got sick of Gem's shit too. She was better than me at brushing it off for a while but I think anyone would get annoyed by someone always treating them like shit.
So Aidan came to me hoping I'd advocate for Gem to be included. He said she just feels left out and wants to be included. I told him she has a funny way of showing it. He said she knows she messed up but to give her another chance for him. I told him I'm not going to advocate for his wife's inclusion when she was so rude to mine. I told him he needs to get Gem to make it up to everyone and work toward her inclusion or else she's staying an outsider. I told him I get that his loyalty is with his own wife but mine will always be with my wife.
He told me someone our side needs to try or Gem will feel like she's wasting her time. I told him it's not on me. He tried to pull some brotherhood crap and I told him to knock it off and accept my answer. Obviously he hates that. My wife said she'd have no problem if Gem apologized and actually stopped with her comments and she's glad I told Aidan what Gem needed to do. Aidan keeps telling me I was a dick and could've done more.
AITA?