this post was submitted on 15 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.

Help, help, I’m being repressed!

No thanks, we’ve already got one.

Lucky I didn’t tell him about the dirty knife.

This bloke won’t ’aggle!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

It's a Mr Death or something... He's come about the reaping

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

I mean, if I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

That whole scene is brilliant commentary on society.

Like so much of their stuff.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago

So many great ones to choose from, I'll just go with the first couple that pop into my head:

"Go on, be crucified, see if i care."

"Let's not go to Camelot, tis a silly place."

"How shall we fuck off, o Lord?"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

That whole bit. http://montypython.50webs.com/scripts/Life_of_Brian/10.htm

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago

"There is NOOOOOOO rule six!" from the Philosophy Dept. of the University of Wallamaloo sketch

or

"You husband has succumbed to a condition that we in the medical community refer to as 'Hooping Cough'." from the self-narrarion sketch

or

"Aah! I will not buy this tobacconist, eet is scratched!" from the Hungarian phrasebook sketch

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

"Jesus did, sir. I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone."

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

"I told him we already got one."

[ Soldiers snicker ]


"Tis but a scratch."

[–] southsamurai 2 points 5 days ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

Can we have your liver?

I wanted to help people… so i became a waiter.

It’s just a wafer thin mint.

Every sperm is sacred. Every sperm is great. If a sperm gets wasted, god gets quite irate.

But I can’t read!

But i just paid! No you didn’t.

  • edited for excessively fat fingers…
[–] threelonmusketeers 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 days ago

Ooppss. More of the killer attach of the fat fingers. Fixed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

I’ve told you once.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

"Fucking close to water."