this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2025
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[–] Oni_eyes 53 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well yeah, first you have to level it up to 8 or so and then you can enroll it in fighting school

[–] pelespirit 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

There's no professor to study it and take it either.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Daycare and candy works though!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Or just take them to the battle arena (indoor playground).

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

That's why I became a martial arts instructor.

So I could kick toddlers without it being frowned upon.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 month ago

We need more genius comedy like Gravity Falls.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sounds like my dog. I've always said that that dog is like an eternal toddler.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Yea i've found that I have limited tolerance for both toddlers and dogs for very similar reasons.

[–] ayyy 17 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 month ago

Are you sure you're not leaning slightly?

[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 month ago

A toddler put it there

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Better? 😉

[–] AlecSadler 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're right, it's kind of shifted on its Praxis

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

First I was confused, Butt then I realised this was fairly funny indeed 👏

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

It’s got KFC logo syndrome.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

If you want the same thing but for the remainder of your life, get a bird. Parrots are basically flying mischievous toddlers with beam cutters on their faces that never grow out of the toddler mentality.

Serious addendumIf you actually want to get a bird as a pet, please do your research. They're smart, loud, social and high maintenance, and you need to be there for them basically all the time. Also, adopt, don't buy!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When I was a kid, our neighbors had parrots.

One late afternoon my mom hears my baby sister crying in her room. Gets up. Checks on her. Sleeping soundly in her bed.

Half an hour later. Crying again. Same thing, my sister is sleeping

This happened a couple times

Took a couple days for my mom to figure out that one of the parrots learned to imitate my crying sister perfectly, and she could hear it when my neighbor had his windows open

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

My grandma once told me about a budgie they had back before I was born. It apparently was actively trolling them by mimicking sounds of their doorbell and landline phone.

Don't make a mistake, they know perfectly fine which sounds grab our attention and they will abuse this knowledge.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

When I was a child, my best friend's mom had a parrot named Ricky. It either hated or loved me, I was never sure; either way, I was terrified of it and preferred not to go near it.

As an adult, I once walked out to my car to find a parrot perched on my windshield wiper. I only had that parrot one night (in no way was I prepared to house a bird, I took it to an exotic bird shelter the next day), but it was much kinder than Ricky. Strangely, it did not like our cats

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Every parrot has a personality, that's for sure! You're a kind person for having helped that bird, I hope that good deed came back (or will come back) to you

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well, thanks for saying so! That was a long long time ago and plenty, good and bad (though mostly good, I'm very fortunate), has happened since then.

Below are some answers to things you didn't ask, but they're among my memories of the evening, so here I shall share. You won't miss much if you don't read them.

That story happened later in the evening, I think on a weekend, so we walked around our neighborhood asking anyone we saw if they knew someone with a bird nearby. No one did, though one person suggested someone who might. We knocked on that door but never got an answer, so decided to go to the bird shelter when it opened the next day.

I remember that we originally tried to put the bird in the cat carrier so it wouldn't destroy the house or get in a fight with the cats, but it didn't want to go in. My then girlfriend (now wife) suggested that maybe it didn't want to go in a box that smelled of predator. I have anosmia, so the idea that smell would matter that much seemed alien to me; I figured it just didn't want to be contained. However, we ended up going to a pet store the next day to get a bird cage for transport. It went in with no issue, so I guess she was right.

For overnight we ended up just putting it in the bathroom with the door closed and a bowl of whatever Google said was appropriate parrot food.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thanks for sharing the story! Birds do have a decently sharp sense of smell, despite a widespread factoid of the opposite - plus, the shape of a cat carrier might have been too unfamiliar to it. Parrots are usually very suspicious about anything unfamiliar (new food, toy, etc), but I'm guessing it was also exhausted from being lost outdoors (if it was a pet) so a new bird cage was close enough for it.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wow, you're quick. Also up pretty late (or early) in my timezone.

Most of my close-up experience with birds has been from the aforementioned friend's mom (she had several, not just Ricky) and most of that experience was being terrorized, puked on, or both. Despite that, they do seem like clever and interesting animals. Still, even if I didn't have cats (I still have the same two from that story, though they're getting old now), I don't think I could have them as pets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hah, It's 10 AM here and I have nothing better to do anyway.

But yeah, that was the point of my original comment - birds definitely aren't a pet for everyone, and it's okay to acknowledge that!

I do like cats too, though, give yours some pats (or whatever their preferred gesture of affection is) from me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

At the time, it was 4am for me.

Absolutely, I'll make sure my cats know of your affection!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 month ago

Toddler uses crying.

It's very effective!

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 month ago

Toddler uses bite. It's super effective!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago

Toddler wants to learn Walking

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Waah, why is the picture slightly tilted? O.o

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

I guess to circumvent reposting detection/guidelines on some platform

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Reminder that you can achieve a free X Attack by taking away their iPad.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 month ago

Ash Ketchum certainly has a different flavor in this version of the world.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

so dodgeball is defense training?

[–] jubilationtcornpone 2 points 1 month ago

If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

They are both worth it, after some time.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 month ago

Mall playgrounds are gyms