Heterosexual bi-romantic
this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2025
6 points (65.0% liked)
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Do you know people like this? Dating someone you're not romantically interested in is basically just being friends.
I do, she wants to date women but can’t find any that attract her
This is probably not at all what this person is like, but the way I read this made me picture someone desperate to prove that they’re cool and hip by being part of the LGBTQIA+ community. I have never heard of anyone like this, though I have heard of someone very European claiming to be native American for the street cred so I wouldn’t say no one would ever do the same with sexuality.
It's a thing. And like it's kinda awkward because sometimes these people actually are queer. It's a somewhat common experience for trans people and ace people to feel like we're queer before we figure out how.
But also you've got folks like the political lesbian movement, a thing that happened during the heyday of 2nd wave feminism where a bunch of straight and asexual women redefined lesbian as a rejection of men, began entering lesbian spaces and relationships and started getting really mad at us for "acting like men" [TL: expressing sexual attraction to women]
One of my friends states that she is very rude to them and that she thinks the LGBT community is “cute”, so I don’t know
Picky
If you aren't attracted to them but you want to date them, what would you end up doing that you wouldn't do with a friend?
- Be in an exclusive relationship that doesn't involve sexual activity?
- Get jealous if they hang out with or say they love anyone else?
- Engage in sexual activity but not enjoy it?
I'm not the OP, but their question was pretty much describing me.
For me, it's about intimacy. I value intimacy. Hugging, kissing, touching, holding hands, sharing moments, laying on the couch together watching TV etc. Those are things that I don't do with my friends, and aren't things that I'm looking for from my friends.
Asexual folk have developed language that talks about the way they navigate similar situations. Sex averse, sex neutral and sex positive. So even though I'm not ace, the terms apply in a similar way to my relationships. Using these terms, I would describe myself as sex neutral. Which is to say that I don't seek it out, and I don't miss it. Yet, it's also a very strong form of intimacy, which I value a great deal, and as an expression of intimacy, it's very much something I'm happy to share with my partner.
That makes sense. I'm not sure if OP understands what they want and didn't clarify it in the post, or if they still need to figure that out for themself
Said person just finds women hot but wouldn’t get jealous nor have sex
What's the desire to date women, then?
I have no idea, it’s either because she finds women aesthetically pleasing or she thinks finding a woman pretty = being attracted to women even though “I can’t find women that attract me” contradicts being into women.
I have another friend who could imagine dating a woman and also didn’t find them attractive. She was straight.
I have another friend who could imagine dating a woman and also didn’t find them attractive. She was straight.
I could imagine being a bumblebee, but that doesn't mean I have any intention of transforming into one or anything! Haha
That’s very true!!
Honestly, with the friend example, she can imagine dating women, but it doesn’t mean she would/likes them that way. She’s still straight. Plus, it’s very rare to be 100% attracted to one gender anyway, but sexuality is a spectrum, and it’s still straight.
I’m a lesbian sexually. I haven’t tried sex with a man. I can imagine doing it, but I’ve only felt sexually attracted to my girlfriend, who’s obviously a woman. Despite being a lesbian, it doesn’t mean I’m 100% only sexually attracted to women and can’t even imagine doing it with a dude. It’s a fluid spectrum that changes over time.
And the other girl who this post is about may be like our friend (Mine and hers). She can imagine dating women and wouldn’t object (because it’s rare to be 100% attracted to only one gender), but since she can’t find a woman who attracts her and only men give her a spark, she might be straight, bicurious, or at least biromantic heterosexual. Still, in order to be biromantic/bisexual, you have to feel romantic or sexual attraction to both genders, and what she said contradicts that, as she seems to feel romantic and sexual attraction towards the opposite gender. (Straight)
Probably heterosexual, biromantic.
I don't know people who date folks they're not attracted to... that said, you can be homoromantic, heteroromantic, etc. Romantic and sexual attraction can be different.
What if this person is sexually attracted to only men and can’t find romantic or sexual attraction towards women and just wants to? (It’s not me it’s someone I know)
That’s called being straight
That makes sense. She only talks about how hot men are and how she wants a boyfriend. She only can name male crushes and gushes over male musicians and actors. She finds women pretty and wants to feel towards women how she does towards men but can’t find any that make her feel that way. She can’t name any women crushes shes had ever and she’s mainly indifferent towards women as a partner.
So maybe straight, maybe straight + biromantic, no clue.
Ok that description sounds more like straight but wishes she wasn't. I see that one around somewhat frequently, especially in progressive feminist spaces
I think this person is confused tbh.
If they genuinely have neither romantic nor sexual attraction to any women, just wishing they did, I'd call it "wanting to fit in/wanting to belong with a specific group" (in this case lesbian/bi groups/people), having no connection at all to one's sexual orientation. Just a characteristic of humans social nature.
Or being traumatized by men or something.
Okay if she thinks she would like to but can't find anyone who fits the bill then there is still a chance it wouldn't work even if she does eventually find someone. So yes I would call that bicurious but it could very well be straight with a kink. Sometimes telling apart which things only work as a fantasy isn't easy.
Biromantic
That's pretty much me. I don't really have a name for it. I just call myself queer, or sometimes panromantic.
You like men but would be interested in dating women although they don’t attract you right now or…?
That’s pretty cool though :3
I'm panromantic, but attracted to men, however I only date women and gender diverse folk on that end of the gender spectrum. My partner is a woman :)
Ooooohhhh!! That’s awesome!!
Personally, I’m kind of the inverse. I’m romantically attracted to both genders and while I can find attractive men, I wouldn’t be interested in dating one.
homoindifferent?