this post was submitted on 28 Feb 2025
150 points (89.1% liked)

Greentext

5325 readers
1344 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 33 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 166 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Ima put on some vinyl gloves and punch anon in the face several times.

It wasn’t me! My hands didn’t touch his face!

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 54 points 3 days ago

Officer, is it a crime to punch my own vinyl??

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago
[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 days ago (1 children)

OOP has never had sex. This is proof

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] festnt 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

did you remove your own upvote after posting...?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 days ago

Yes, infact I sometimes downvote my own comment if I feel like my comment is shit

[–] [email protected] 86 points 3 days ago

Taking bets they do not think women who’ve only fucked dudes with condoms on are virgins

[–] [email protected] 104 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

Why would I give some woman I barely know my hard earned cum?

[–] [email protected] 51 points 3 days ago (5 children)

I save mine in a milk jug to drink later. Can't let any of my vital essence go to waste.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

that link is staying green, and the amazon bot spying on my account will thank me for i t

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Well the main gist is vidible form the link itself

[–] lowered_lifted 3 points 3 days ago

idk the cum flan in the cover is really something, looks just like a regular one, you'd never know.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

memes but instead of posting images we post amazon links

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 days ago
[–] sugar_in_your_tea 9 points 3 days ago

Look at Mr. Fancy Pants over here with a dedicated jug. Just slurp straight from the rubber.

[–] DScratch 7 points 3 days ago

Save it all up for your wedding night. Let the sperms fight for dominance in the milk jug, that only the strongest and fittest sperm survives to merge with the egg.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

this might be of interest to you.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 days ago

"I do not avoid women, Mandrake...but I do deny them my essence."

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

Semen is a bit like lending someone less than $5, you can't really ask for it back

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 days ago
[–] mindbleach 5 points 2 days ago

Anon got sodomized and desperately needs to believe it doesn't count.

[–] [email protected] 39 points 3 days ago (3 children)

If dick making contact with vagina is all that it takes to not be a virgin, then no one born with a penis through normal vaginal birth is a virgin once born because your penis probably touched your mom's vagina.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 3 days ago

A girl in my high-school actually said this (Not word for word obvs) and when I mentioned that would every woman has has lesbian sex at least once she became very very upset.

[–] ace_of_based 3 points 2 days ago

This fact is highly unpleasant and i hate you for 5 minutes

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

Thanks for the mind-worm, I hate it.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 3 days ago

Lecturing a Chan user on condangs is like asking your dog his thoughts on the Flat Tax.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

*greentext was sponsored by the Federalist Society

[–] fibojoly 1 points 3 days ago

I much prefer the Japanese propaganda