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Based on initial feedback, we know the importance of speaking to live customer service agents in a timely fashion is paramount.
Based on initial feedback?! We've know this shit for 40 years or more, numbnuts. These executives should not be allowed to work at the businesses factory ever again.
Fixing HP's statement on the matter so it's more honest:
We're always looking for ways to improve our customer service experience, because this is the first step in not doing that. This support offering was intended force you into less expensive options that didn't involve live humans because we're cheap bastards who don't actually care if your printer works- you've already bought it, and it stopped being a loss leader in the 90's. Seriously. the printers have not changed since then, but we jacked the rates when you weren't looking and called all those not-actually-new features something new and cool sounding.
We have found that many of our customers were not aware of the digital support options we provide. because we don't want you to use those, either. we want you to suffer in silence. and buy more ink. Based on initial feedback, we know the importance of speaking to live customer service agents in a timely fashion is paramount. As a result, we will fire most of our live representatives so that it takes then twenty minutes to get to you, instead of just telling them let you cool your heels.
also, we're updating our onhold music play lists. they now include Justin Beiber's "Baby", Nickleback's "Rockstar", Rebeca Black's "Friday", and the entire sound track to Cats, the musical. oh, and in the interest of keeping it diverse, Walker Hayes "90's country song".
Being a fucking douche was a policy? That shit was deliberate?
It's HP.
You know, the same company that makes the worlds most insufferable printers. So yeah, it was deliberate, intentionally making the user experience as awful as humanly possible might as well be their raison d'etre.
the thing is, if it's slow and they have to let you wait 15 minutes, that's... ineffeciency. Like. it might not always stay slow. if someone wants to talk to a human, and there's a human free, it's bad business to make them go through all the other hoops first.
This is the same company that sells an entire printer at a loss, as a semi-disposable item, so you'll be suckered into buying their proprietary ink cartridges at the low low price of an arm and a dick. Inefficiency? From the company that makes disposable fucking printers? yeah that sounds about right.
and yes, it is bad business, but there are many things that HP does that are "bad business", and yet they continue to exist like a cancer on the consumer computer hardware market. Again, this is normal for them.
Don't they also brick your printer if you don't subscribe to their ink service?
They probably brick your printer if you ask to speak to a live human on the phone
The point is to make people give up. Then they don't need to answer the phone at all!