this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2025
351 points (98.9% liked)

Facepalm

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[–] [email protected] 112 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Looks like the cook had been egging the boyfriend on

[–] [email protected] 18 points 3 months ago

Glad they're both sticking to their principles and not chickening out.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

I read that over easy as "cock".

[–] [email protected] 43 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I get so jealous of people like that cook, who have found a sense of purpose.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Why don't you go make me some runny eggs? Chop chop

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

And then they can go home and get their fucking shine box.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I've seen romances start in weirder fashions.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

My first thought as well. Wouldn't be surprised if this is being used to explain an affair.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

This is what guys do instead of friendship. You can bet if cook isn't there one week BF is going to go do a wellness check.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago

"Man my girlfriend wont let me go anywhere by myself, I cant just sit and scroll on my phone and eat my breakfast without her sitting there talking at me this is fucked"

"I've got an idea.:

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ladies, if your man slurpin that raw albumin, remember there are plenty of fish in the sea and not all of them are hard for salmonella

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It sounds like the bf is slurping a different kind of runny white

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I have a saying; never piss off the person who cooks your food, cuts your hair, or fixes your teeth.

That cook has just so many options for wrecking or killing that guy that it's not even funny. One of these days he's gonna go back there and come out on a stretcher, or worse, a body bag. And then we'll all find out if this happened in Florida.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Lol in cases like this Florida is the default assumption.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago

This is the funniest thing I've read all day.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago

Cook: I spent 4 years in poaching school for this, bwaa-ha-haaa!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It's not her bf anymore, how can she not recognise true love and dedication?

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know what's going on here but I can't talk about it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Just tell it to me. I'll keep it a secret.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

If the cook makes them right the game ends

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Well, yes, it's the internet. Do you think people just go online and tell lies?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Of course not; that's illegal!