this post was submitted on 04 Feb 2025
496 points (98.4% liked)

Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 5 days ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

The way is shut
It is kept by those who are dead
The way is shut.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

*It is kept by those who are married ... And have a really awkward relationship

[–] [email protected] 24 points 5 days ago

And their tone keeps changing so you can't tell if it's sarcasm or not

[–] [email protected] 17 points 5 days ago

Just call them babe too, and feign ignorance when they say that’s not their name.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is the plot of an episode of The Office

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

You burn it, you buy it!

Oh good! I’ll be your first customer!

Love it

[–] [email protected] 11 points 5 days ago

You escape by finding the six-shooter in the office desk loaded with one bullet.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Babe I can handle.

Progressive extensions of "My wittle hunny-bunny shnookie-wookums"...?

I'm turning them into a fine mist with my bare hands.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

I say these.

It pisses her off and she hates it being the reason, and it's hilarious to me

[–] [email protected] 8 points 5 days ago

And they say it quietly then loudly just to annoy you some more

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hey, hey, we have laws about torture.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

You have laws?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

You took me by the hand

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

this would be in violation of the 8th amendment

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just say 'melon' a bunch of times.

[–] Piemanding 2 points 4 days ago

I still don't know if that was a bug or if the dev purposely did that.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

Is the couple Kristen Wiig and Jason Sudeikis, in character as the two a-holes?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

🎵 Babe. I got you babe.🎵

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

The only one I call "babe" is my dog. And he's deaf so I don't think he cares.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

No you're schmoopi!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 days ago

I'm more of a darlin' kind of person.