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2024-11-11
Any chance this correlates with finally being able to afford mental health care?
This guy understands how the world works.
That was a great point. I was assuming it adds stress which exacerbated symptoms of mental health conditions that incentivized the couples to get diagnosed.
The study focused on heterosexual Swedish couples of working age who married in 2001 and whose individual incomes measured at just above or just below the equal earnings threshold.
I wouldn't have thought mental health care was inaccessible due to cost in a country like Sweden.
It's not always free in scandinavialand. If you have a referral from a doctor due to a mental illness or the like, it's probably covered. But if you seek therapy out if own initiative you probably have to pay out of pocket.
Source: As a scandinavian I looked into it once, but upon noticing the hourly rate I figured that it would probably cause more mental distress than it would solve.
It's not just monetary, it's also time, and being willing to admit you have a problem and seek help. Some jobs will fire you if you admit to having substance abuse or mental health problems, like airline pilots. (Or even if they don't outright fire you, it'll still end your career.)
Society needs to normalize households women being successful.
I wanna be a house husband so bad yo I'd be so good at it I can cook and clean good enough to please anyone's grandma and I can manage a household like a pro
Lemme stop working lemme decorate a fucking great room and meal prep for my loved ones FUCK
You can move in with me if you want lol. I hate cleaning and shit. But I'm a man and I don't make 250k that's for sure.
I'm already dating a man who swears he's gonna get me a hot tub to be sexy in, but I still gotta work. What's your offer?
No employment required but you gotta do the cleaning for me and my wife. Free room and board, and other reasonable expenses covered but we do live frugally, and you'd be expected to as well. You can fuck or decline to fuck whoever you want. No hottub though. We live in the city center and don't have space for such things.
"How about I earn another $250k and we DINK our way across the globe?"
My only problem with this personally is what if something terrible happens and the wife is no longer in the picture. Then, my house husband skills wouldn’t help me land a decent paying job.
Welcome to the reality of every stay at home mom ever
Why is there an increase in mental health diagnoses recently?
Looks around at the state of the world. Tyranny on the rise; human right being violated across the globe; climate crisis set to boil humanity alive; tech companies funding dictators.
My hypothesis is that it is the fault of women.
It certainly doesn't help that men and women are more adversarial than they have ever been. The cause may be just, but at the end of the day everyone is just lonely and miserable, and afraid of the other.
Yes, the link is this:
When all the adults in the household have to work 40+ hours a week, plus commute, plus all the adulting...they get sad since this is fucking toxic.
Also no one has time for civics.
Also no one has time to parent, so the kids are sad too.
If we're looking at mental health problems, lets look here first.
Oh for fucks sake. No wonder this study is ridiculous. It's an economist trying to make inferences on mental health. The only actual data he had is a correlation in mental health diagnoses and women earning significantly* more. (Number not defined)
He has no evidence for causation. He does no work to get rid of confounding factors like toxic masculinity's famous dislike of therapy. He just sees a rise in the pure number of diagnoses and says women earning more is bad for the mental health of both people in a marriage. He doesn't even bother to check what the diagnoses are, or look for any kind of severity. For all we know the finding here could be that women who earn more and men who are willing to be with them seek counseling earlier than couples where the man makes more.
This is shit science.
Yep. The guy got a large publicly available dataset (or one his university had access to) and mined it for interesting results to get a publication.
For men, mental health issues that arose as female earnings increased were more likely to be related to substance-related concerns, whereas women were more likely to experience neurotic and stress-related disorders.
I'm not convinced of a causative relationship here (well, at least for the men, it makes sense that working more increases stress on the women's side). It's possible that the woman became the higher earner because of the man's existing substance abuse problem, and/or that the woman becoming a higher earner allowed the man to seek help for the problem.
It's also possible that the substance abuse problem developed after the woman became the higher earner, though I'm not sure why that would happen.
i want my wife to earn more than me; she sure deserves it. she has a higher education and a job that actually matters to humanity. i have a desk job that makes computers go beep. its absurd how low her pay is :(
I'm in the same boat. I happen to earn more, but not really through my own education/merit/worth to society - just by virtue of the industry I work in and that I can also make computers go beep sometimes.
For a while, my wife did earn more than me, and that was fine. My job was easier, so I did more housework and took some of the stress off her.
Imo it's wild to be upset that you are earning more as a team just because the person earning the most on the team is a woman. Patriarchy is a hell of a drug
I've experienced a man in my life being really fucking salty and super dickish about my successful career. It isn't a husband or SO, but my stepfather. The man who, until recently, has been a great father figure.
I can't talk about work around him without his mood immediately souring. Idk if he's jealous that I have some disposable income and that I am making a little less than he is and I'm only 3 years into my career as opposed to his 25, but it's really discouraging.
Finances are very tight for him and my mother and it's almost entirely his fault because he is terrible with money. It's really sad to see him act this way. According to my mom, he has bitched to my grandma (his mom) about me taking up horseback riding and doing things with my new friends because it can be expensive. My grandma yelled at him over it and said that me doing new things and socializing is very good and she supports it. Idk why he thinks my finances are his business either. Ugh. The man is so frustrating.
Sorry for ranting. Guess I really needed to get all that out lol.
Well I hope there was some catharsis to your comment! That sucks you're being subjected to it. Good for grandma having your back!
This is really sad, tbh.
I personally would be freaking stoked. Would love to be a stay at home hubs, too.
oh yeah but I would not want that much pressure on my wife. Would want to make enough to at least get us by in a pinch.
It's genuinely upsetting. The option to be a house wife/husband is becoming rarer. Everyone needs to work to provide enough for the household. House hubbies are lucky men.
Perhaps households where women earn more money are also made of people where the male partner feels more comfortable seeking mental health resources. Or perhaps they have better insurance and can afford it.
I would suggest that "Wives earning more than husbands" isn't the issue so much as "Cost of living is outpacing household earnings and men have been conditioned through generations of patriarchy to believe this is a personal failing rather than a broad economic shift".
If your wife is bringing in seven figures, I doubt the husband will lose much sleep. But if you're looking at a $30k paycheck to your wife's $40k paycheck, and you both acknowledge the total isn't enough to live on, there's a lot of anxiety to go around in that situation.
Remember, this is diagnoses. My guess is that its a "owning a horse make you healthier" thing again.
Men that are upset that their wives out-earn them are missing the point of marriage. The point of marriage isn't him vs her, its the two of you together against the world. If she is earning more than him, then that benefits him too because he's part of the marriage.
I'm constantly astonished when I hear of men that are upset by their wives out-earning them. Some of these men have even sabotaged their wife's work or changed the circumstances at home preventing her from continuing in the job where she out-earns him. My only hope for these women is they realize their husband's love is conditional on him being dominant over her, and that she seeks out a better future where she can be her best self.
Specifically on women's mental health deteriorating in this situation, often this can occur when she's still expected to pick up the majority (or all) of domestic labor in addition to her well-paying job. Women are still largely expected to "do it all" by not only their partners but by society. If you're not a perfect businesswoman, mother, and domestic servant all in one all the time, well you're failing your spouse, your children, your boss, your identity as a woman, etc. Women don't just need their male partners to step up for them in labor alone, but also to reevaluate their social role that they are propagating through their (in)actions. What are you teaching your kid if mom is the only one who cooks dinner? Or cleans regularly without reminders? Or keeps track of doctor's visits, field trips, etc?
Was talking to a cute girl at a New Years Eve party, and it came out that while I made a nice amount for doing very little work, she made even more but had to do a lot of work. I went straight to daydreaming about being a stay-at-home Dad so hard I almost fell off my chair.
Dudes, more money means more money, why on earth would having more money upset you???
There goes the patriarchy hurting men again.
Gotta add that my wife makes more than me and I’m sure glad she does.
Men who are uncomfortable with their wives earning more money are also probably more prone to feeling some stigma around addressing their own mental health issues
Please Lord let me find a woman that makes the same as me and I'll happily retire a Pinterest mom and support her career. I love my kid, my home, my time, my flexibility, optimizing systems with cart blanche..