Microblog Memes

I'm tasty.

I'm not particularly good at any one thing. I have a PhD, but not in a subject that's "practical" in the post apocalypse. I'm physically fit enough, but I'm not a paragon of strength or agility. Relatedly, I'm in my mid30s, so not old, but not spry either. I'm handy enough to fix things with instruction and some light jury-rigging, but I'm hardly a Macguyver-type. I've never fired a gun before, but I can probably learn to use one.

Assuming I'm not killed instantaneously, or shortly thereafter, I'm an extra set of hands or an additional mouth to feed, depending on your perspective. Charitably, I'm analytically-minded and useful enough in the field, low to middle management type; less charitably, I'm an NPC type that happens to have some amusing dialog.

In a movie or tv show following a group in the post apocalypse, I think I'd be like the 4th to die; dignified enough to have established a minor story arch, but certainly not enough to be a main character. Also not so unimportant that I'm killed off screen (or worse yet, ret-conned).

I have an infinite amount of patience, diplomacy and faith in the importance of solidarity

Gallows humor and wisecracks, mostly.

That's an awful skill. +1 zombies to worry about? An extra corpse to get rid of? Please don't. Get a useful hobby instead. Gardening, carpentry, chemical engineering, knitting - all much more useful for survival.

I have a lot of water purification capability. And a couple of guns and a little ammo. Hell yeah I'll eat whatever critters come my way if I need to. Hunting rules go out the window when all of society is starving. We'll manage to kill off all of the animals on earth at this rate. Funny thing is, governments are mostly to blame. It wouldn't be a problem except they're all greedy as fuck. The people and the earth pay the price.

Being naturally avoidant of other people. It's always other people who pose the greatest danger in these situations.

I have a lot of knives.

I'm a master of telling bad puns.

I'm large. Good for blocking entrances and creating uneven terrain. I'm a nurse too, but all that lets me do is tell you "that's not normal" and "that's not compatible with life."

Nice try skynet.

I really don't get people who watch Mad Max movies and think they're going to be Auntie or Immortan Joe (as if they ended up doing so well themselves anyway). And even if you are, who wants to be king of a pile of shit?

Makes no sense to me.

I've done some stand up and I am willing to hurt myself for others amusement. I am probably going to end up some warlords court jester.

I'm exceptionally charismatic and can become friends with literally everyone.

That's a useful talent even pre-apoc.

Woot! I've been poor all my life, so I have experience gardening and foraging. I know the difference between poison hemlock and wild carrot, I can identify herbs that can heal, I know how to choose the best trees for food from syrup to bark bread, and I know which fruits and veggies grow best in which area

I'm also a mortician, so went through 4 years of INTENSE medical education, fighting against the students trying to become doctors. (I hate bell curves) I can cleanly dissect a body, know about ailments/diseases/biohazards, I'm not afraid of blood or wounds, can stitch up lacerations, and know which parts of the body to hit and bring an enemy down... probably should have led with that