Casual Conversation

Join a club or organization or volunteer somewhere. It has to be in person and you have to go even if at first you aren't comfortable.

All the friends people make at school are happy accidents of proximity and chance. Same with coworker friends. You have to make some luck for yourself, put yourself in situations where you will regularly see the same people and get to know them through what you are doing.

Also, don't focus on romance, focus on friendship. Romance will come naturally - not forced.

I know this does not come easy for most people in your situation. It feels stupid and awkward but chance and circumstances play a huge role in making friends.

This is going to seem trite but it's not meant to, it's a real attempt to help.

Have you considered going to church?

Around 100 members (including kids) is a pretty good size; enough for variety and interaction, but not so many you get lost in the crowd.

They are there trying to be friends with each other, to be a family. It can be good.

Well we can be all lonely, here, TOGETHER! 🤗

ITT: Bunch of assholes telling you "have you tried to NOT having a cold" when your nose is clearly leaking.

If you don't understand how it feels to be lonely, any advice you give is awful and full of entitlement.

It's not just loneliness, my friend. It's a brutal cycle. A prophecy foretold, one that you'll probably have to get up and break with some difficult to find laughter and energy in a social setting. This doesn't necessarily mean go to places. Find a Discord group, for instance.

Hell, I started Jiu Jitsu 1. Because I need to lose weight and 2. Because I'd like to be around people at least some of the time when I'm not working.

I have no spouse, I have one friend who lives in another state, and I live alone and work from home. I personally enjoy my solitude because I can live without pressure/expectations. Before getting into a relationship, maybe fuck around a little? Not in regards to cookie, but was there something you wanted to try, but were afraid of making a mess? A hobby you wanted to try, but we're shy about, like a instrument or singing, etc.? This is the time to do all that. Make cookies at 3 am, walk around in your undies, do that 5 minute craft, listen to that guilty pleasure song and sing all the words. Watch that kid's movie you've been curious about. A lot of people go from one family to another, or to a roommate. You have been given a season of you, don't skip it.

Find a hobby you enjoy, even if it isn't a social hobby. Get involved in that. Get involved in the community around it, whether that's local or online. Start talking to people, find other common interests. Branch off into those interests with small groups from your hobby, or new groups entirely.

I don't know you, so this isn't a judgement of you or your situation, but people don't like one-dimensional people. Find a variety of things you enjoy doing just for yourself that isn't just video games or YouTube or tv, and then find spaces where people talk about those things. Start going to a gym or taking fitness classes, or join a hobby painting group, or a TCG/board game group, or a book club, or a jogging/biking group, or a crochet circle. Volunteer at local food banks or animal shelters.

Meeting a variety of people and having different, interesting things to talk to them about will help you make friends. Making friends will help you meet potential partners and practice communication skills to make the relationship work. It isn't always easy or fast, but everything I've found a partner it was after I told myself "you know what, I'm don't waiting for friends and companionship to fall in my lap. I'm going to go out and make it happen, or at least have fun on my own if I can't find others to have fun with".

You just better get used to it. When I was a teen people tell you that I'll come, don't rush things... Almost 20 years later and things are worse than ever.

"But get a hobby!" Guys, you can't just fake interest in something just to know people. Some of us just DON'T want interesting lives, I just like gaming and that isolation it gave up only made things worse. Especially where I live where no adult has these type of hobbies

What helped me was realising there are many people are just as lonely as me. When I force myself to engage, in little ways (even as much as a hello), people seem to take it as an opportunity to speak and it's quite nice.

I told a quiet neighbour merry Christmas the other day, and he was more animated than I'd ever seen him.

I'm not saying this will help you, though I hope it has some positive bearing as a consideration.

Are there hobbygroups in your area? Keep the focus on the shared hobby and get to meet people through said mutual interest, don't focus on being there to make friends. Since the former leads to better relationships.

Find people with common interests and try to make friends. Maybe with an app like Meetup or some other friends making apps.

What are you looking for in one?