this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2024
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Join a club or organization or volunteer somewhere. It has to be in person and you have to go even if at first you aren't comfortable.
All the friends people make at school are happy accidents of proximity and chance. Same with coworker friends. You have to make some luck for yourself, put yourself in situations where you will regularly see the same people and get to know them through what you are doing.
Also, don't focus on romance, focus on friendship. Romance will come naturally - not forced.
I know this does not come easy for most people in your situation. It feels stupid and awkward but chance and circumstances play a huge role in making friends.
Good advice, but from personal experience, romance does not come naturally.
I know that it's not true for some people, but many people want love more than they want friends, and their constant seeking love cause otherwise simple friendships to get awkward and fizzle out.
Maybe, but to those who romance would appear naturally when in a friends group, they would not be in this position in the first place.
Yes, this is about the people who it does not come naturally to. I'm saying surrounding yourself with friends will help with loneliness and friends can either become romantic interests OR better yet they introduce you to people you may get interested in.
Don't overthink it. We can't give advice to solve all of someone's problems. We can get them in a better spot though.
Probability, chance. Do things that regularly put you face to face with people and you will have many more opportunities to make friends and meet love interests.
That is one of my favorite angles when trying to lift up someone who is discouraged about dating or friendship. Our minds are not equipped to really understand just how big the world is. There are a functionally infinite amount of people to meet. Even if you filtered humanity down to fluent speakers of your language, your preferred gender, close in age, you're probably looking at more introductions / blind dates than you could ever possibly accommodate in your lifetime. It sounds trite to say "there are always more fish in the sea" but you can always keep trying.
Exactly, you don't gain anything forcing yourself like that
I'm sick of hearing this dumb advice tbh
What’s dumb about it?
Many can't do it. Plus is not a guaranteed solution
Buddy, I hate to say it but there is no guaranteed solution. This advice is the best bet without knowing your life story. Do what works for you, but don't give up and try different things, even things that are hard or scary.
The biggest is living in a sparsely populated area without good (or at times, any) transportation options. Add in money and solitary-or-niche hobbies for good measure.
There is also probably a point to be made about not having previous luck with friends in school, or romance not once ever coming naturally.
Where do I find clubs? Been searching for an answer ever since the library in my city didn't even have a bulletin board
Rural US will be a shitshow for it.
There should be one in most places people congregate for fun: rock gyms, state parks/NF orgs, community centers, sewing/hobby stores, sorts leagues, idk... Can't hurt to literally call around. It's super awkward but "hi i have an interest in this and want to know how i can get involved" usually has two possible answers: "Idk", or "OH YEAH! Check out these resources!"
You can also try community colleges and sometimes universities. Clubs may be open to the public.
Have you tried Meetup? I found some interesting board game groups there.
I found 1 (one) online d&d session, from Istanbul where I don't live
İt's not great, Facebook's even worse
That requires a highly regional specific answer. I could give a dozen answers, but did you ask the librarian for help? In the US a librarian should be able to help you figure it out for your city.